Marriage: A Lifestyle Choice

Much ado has been made lately about famous married men cheating on their spouses. The one thing that is not asked is "why do these women stay with their men ?" Is it out of a sense of loyalty, love or marital obligation ? After all, why should these women remain silent and swallow the humiliation they obviously had to endure? There are those that would argue that most people see their marriage as an investment in time and money. Marriage creates a certain sense of security as well as comfort. Most people are reticent to venture out of their comfort zone. Then, of course, there is the fear of the unknown.

This society has made it natural for us to be into titles. Being married represents a certain status in today's society. Getting divorced represents another status. For those goal oriented individuals among us, if you are divorced it means that you have failed at society's prized institution. Why are people willing to sacrifice their own happiness to prove that they can succeed at something that makes them so unhappy ? This is one I have never figured out.  Now I have never been married, so there are those of you out there who would argue that I have no earthly idea of what I am talking about. However, I have heard enough stories from women who have been married for ten years and were only happy for two. After much trying, these women are back out there. I recently asked one of my divorced friends what it's like to be out there again. Of course she denied being out there at all, since the ink was not dry on her divorce. I reminded her that her husband had left the building and she had already stuck her big toe in the dating pool.  You know, the pool that's filled with piranhas and crocodiles. Last week, she asked me why the gentleman who seemed so perfect for her hadn't even bothered to call. Two weeks had gone and passed and there still was no sign of our complicated Lothario. I informed her that the answer to that question was self-evident.

Who wants to go on a date when they are forty years old ? Even worse, who wants to go on an online date when they are forty years old? You would think the humiliation of catching your husband in a compromising position with his secretary, trousers akimbo, is bad enough.  Add an online date with a socially retarded Romeo to the mix and you got what I call is "the roughest of the roughest." That's right, it's the societal equivalent of kicking a woman when she is down. Dating is a subculture onto itself. If you haven't bothered to put it in its proper perspective, it can be a daunting task especially after being married for ten years.

In social terms, getting divorced and dating again is the equivalent of declaring bankruptcy.  You have to start all over again.  For a lot of people, it is a humiliating undertaking.  As bad as it may sound, I submit that it beats being in a horrible, loveless, lifeless marriage. Sometimes you have to take two steps back to move forward. There are worse things than being single.  Remember, titles don't mean a thing when you are not happy. At least when you find yourself single again, you realize it can only get better.

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