Effective communication, like an effective conversation, involves listening as well as talking.
This really came home to me yesterday when I spent some time talking with my son’s neighbor. We were all outside watching the kids play when I commented that it was nice to have so many children in the neighborhood so close in age, so they had someone to play with.
The neighbor said that yes, it was lucky that the kids at all three door-to-door neighbors were close in age and got along well. And then I mentioned that it was also fun for the kids to be in a cul-de-sac where it was safe for them to ride their bikes and play catch in the street.
The neighbor told me that it hadn’t been easy to find that perfect location.
He said he “went through 4 agents” before finding one who would pay attention to his “want list” and show him the right houses.
He said, “I told them I wanted a two story house on a cul-de-sac, but they kept taking me to see homes on busy streets – telling me how beautiful and well-appointed those homes were.”
He related asking those agents what part of his two-item list they couldn’t understand, even after he repeatedly refused to get out and look at homes that didn’t fit.
Finally he found someone who did listen and he purchased the house.
This man had something specific in mind, and he had a good reason why he wanted it. He wanted his children to be safe.
But the first 3 agents paid no attention and instead showed him the homes they wanted to sell instead of homes he might want to buy.
Experienced real estate agents know that sometimes buyers choose a home that doesn’t really fit the description they’ve given of their perfect home. But they won’t buy a home that doesn’t fit when there’s a strong reason why they want what they want.
Agents need to listen and pay attention to those reasons why. They need to take the time to ask questions and learn the buyer’s true motivation. And they need to learn to tell the difference between “must have” and “it would be nice to have.”
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