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How to ensure your house NEVER sells....

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Access

How to ensure your house NEVER sells....

So, you are selling your house.  You have hired a fantastic REALTOR® who has blasted the internet with great pictures and information about your house.  The house is price just perfect for the market and the neighborhood, as well as the condition of the house.  You have de-cluttered and have started packing and you are ready to get your house sold

 

photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/joeltelling/292642699/

 The showing appointments start coming in everything is moving right along, BUT that is not by any means the end of it.  There are still plenty of things that can prevent you from getting that offer you so desire.  Here is a true list of things I have witnessed while showing houses to my clients and each one completely turned off the buyer (some names and details have been changed to protect the innocent).  Notice...not a single one of these things has anything what-so-ever to do with the ACTUAL house.

1.  Stick around during the showings - oh, and make sure you follow the potential buyers and their REALTOR® around giving them an interactive and informative tour of your house.

2.  Since you are at the appointment already, make sure you tell the buyers and their REALTOR® how desperate you are to sell your house because you have been relocated  and must move in 3 weeks.

3.  Be VERY picky about scheduling appointments (i.e. 24 hour notice required, showings only on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from 12:00 - 2:00, etc.).  On the same note, make sure you decline at least every third showing because "it's not a good time".

4.  Don't clean up after your indoor pets - that includes liter boxes, cat and dog hair, chew toys, bird droppings and other stuff pets like to leave lying around.

5.  Keep your dirty laundry (at least a week's worth) on your kitchen counter.

6.  Keep your dirty dishes and last nights un-eaten food in your (or your kid's) bedroom.

7.  Accept the appointment then make sure your adult son is asleep in his boxers upstairs during the showing.

8.  Leave your dirty underwear on the bathroom floor.

9.  Don't flush or clean your toilets (while you are at it - don't dust or sweep, EVER).

Finally....

10.  Make sure your neighbors hold the buyers hostage for at least 30 minutes with stories of how he/she is the HOA president and he/she makes sure every house conforms to the by-laws right down to measuring the length of grass on each lawn to the centimeter.

photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/photowu/46022034/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, if you, on the other hand DO want your house to sell in a timely manner then this would be a list of things NOT to do.  Happy selling and I hope everyone has a great week!

Julia Huntsman
Huntsman Properties - Long Beach, CA
BPOR, CDPE, e-PRO, SFR, Broker

Yes, a good list of things. What I find interesting is that many people I've worked with as buyers, who complained about some or all of these things, see nothing wrong with those issues when they are sellers. How quickly they forget! (especially the one about being present while the buyer is looking).

May 12, 2010 04:41 AM
Robert Rauf
CMG Home Loans - Toms River, NJ

I was sure I would see: Dont allow a lock box on the house.. But the 10 you have here are all perfect!

May 12, 2010 04:42 AM
Jeanna Martinez
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX

Candice - Thanks!  I know...it is just nuts what some neighbors will do to sabotage showings (often unknowingly)!

Julia - You are so right!  It seems like the pickiest buyers are often the most forgetful sellers :-)...

May 12, 2010 04:44 AM
Jeanna Martinez
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX

Robert -Thank you!  Yep the no lockbox rule is another great one! Haha! Thanks for adding it :-)

May 12, 2010 04:46 AM
Paula Raymond
Texas Heritage Real Estate - Killeen, TX
REALTOR

I love this post- and in fact- I am going to REPOST it!! Thank you Jeanna- for saying what we all WANT to say sooo many times! Over the past few years- I have gotten VERY picky- and VERY specific about the listings I will take. If you adopt this policy up front- BEFORE you sign up for 6-12 months of HELL with an unrealistic or unmotivated seller- you save yourself A LOT of time, money and stress. I will generally accept 1 of every 4 listings that I look at...and yes that means my inventory is LOW...but what I have is GREAT...and other agents don't have to worry about what they are going to find behind the front door when they arrive at a home for sale with my sign out front. Thanks again!!!

May 12, 2010 04:49 AM
Jeanna Martinez
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX

Paula - Thank you so much!  I work with so many buyers and it is frustrating to them when we see a great house but they just can't get past the distractions (and I know its frustrating for the listing agent!)

May 12, 2010 04:52 AM
Kristin Moran
Owner - RE/MAX Access - KristinMoran@Remax.net - San Antonio, TX
San Antonio,TX - Real Estate - 210-313-7397

I think that HOA guy lives in my neighborhood!  I loved this post J!  You are getting better & better!  Must be the new computer ;).

May 12, 2010 05:02 AM
David Monsour
Keller Williams Keystone Realty - Gettysburg, PA
ABR - www.realty-insights.com

Great post, and if you did computer, doesn't it make a huge difference?  I used to not do certain things becuase I knew my computer couldn't handle it. 

I've witnessed all of the 10 things you stated.  People think they are helping but they aren't.

May 12, 2010 05:05 AM
Robert The Earl of Real Estate
St Pete LUXE Living Group - Saint Petersburg, FL
The Earl of Real Estate

The sad part about this is over the past 9+ years I have seen or heard of everyone of these occuring.

May 12, 2010 05:17 AM
Jeanna Martinez
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX

Kristin - Haha!! Don't you just love THAT hoa guy?!? Thanks!! I have a feeling its my office (and the peeps in it!!) :-)

David - A good computer definitely makes a huge difference!  I know most of the time they just don't know any better!

May 12, 2010 05:19 AM
Jeanna Martinez
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX

Robert - I know...I have actually witnessed all 10 in the past year!!

May 12, 2010 05:20 AM
Team Honeycutt
Allen Tate - Concord, NC

Oh, I needed a laugh!. We all have had to deal with sellers like this. 

May 12, 2010 07:30 AM
Rob Neal
RE/MAX DFW Associates - Carrollton, TX

Love it!  Was showing a buyer a great house not too long ago and had a seller who had to stay for the showing.  Five innocent little words made my buyer believe I was the greatest agent ever!  "So, where y'all moving to?"  The seller started started talking and the price started falling....-$5,000...-$10,000...-$15,000.  My buyer got a great deal... :-)

One of these days, I'm gonna write a book!

May 12, 2010 07:45 AM
Jeanna Martinez
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX

Allen - Thanks!  Unfortunately they are out there! :-)

Rob - Don't you just love it when the seller starts talking to the buyer?!? haha!! A book would be awesome!!  I can only imagine the stories between you and Whit....I would buy it!

May 12, 2010 07:56 AM
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate

I think the HOA neighbor lives in the neighborhood where one of my rent houses is located.  haha

May 12, 2010 09:51 AM
Matt Stigliano
Kimberly Howell Properties (210) 646-HOME - San Antonio, TX

Jeanna - Sad but true.  The one about the adult son in his boxers?  I have seen it one too many times.  Kids, grandpa, dad - anyone sleeping or in boxers (or both) is an easy way to instantly negate all the great vibes the potential buyer had a few moments ago.  Shocking how much of an affect it has - I've never sold a house that had someone sleeping in it.

May 12, 2010 12:05 PM
Cliff Kavanaugh
Keller Williams Realty of Charlottesville Virginia - Charlottesville, VA
ck@kw.com - 434-466-5128 - www.CvilleHomeSearch.com

This post is spine chilling.  I have got one of those listings!

May 12, 2010 12:15 PM
Kay Van Kampen
RE/MAX Broker, RE/MAX - Springfield, MO
Realtor®, Springfield Mo Real Estate

Jeanna, this is too funny!  I think I've had everyone one of those happen to us.

May 12, 2010 02:25 PM
Maria Cutrona
Century 21 Lakeside Realty - Austintown, OH
ASP

Jeanna:

Post is true!  I too have one of those listings!   Too Funny

 

Maria cutrona Re/max Valley Real Estate

 

 

May 13, 2010 12:38 PM
The Logan Team
Herrington & Company LLC - Anchorage, AK
Anchorage Alaska REALTOR

For some of these you can include some elaborate agent marketing verbiage.  Like those homes that have moss on the roof, "EASY mow roof!!!!

May 18, 2010 01:12 PM