Bubbie's Blog: It's not My Fault He's Fat

From the Jewish Business Magazine

Why does my son keep blaming me for him being fat? He didn’t have to eat everything I bought as soon as I bought it. And what about college? He gained at least 50 pounds since he left my house. Every night I cooked a good, healthy dinner, with vegetables. He loved broccoli. He was the only little kid that liked broccoli more than macaroni and cheese. That was thanks to me.

And back to college, doesn’t he think all that beer he drank made him fat? I didn’t give him beer. Maybe I let him have some Manischevitz for Shabbat dinners and holidays, but I never gave him beer, except once in Israel, but that was kosher beer, and he didn’t even like it.

He says I bought grape soda. I never bought grape soda, I bought grape juice maybe, but never grape soda. And I bought tasty cakes, but that was for everyone, not just him. He could’ve eaten whatever he wanted; he decided to eat the bad food. I did make rice crispy treats once in a while, but that’s it. And I made him chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, but not every day.

You know, he’s very good looking, I always told him, if he wasn’t so fat he could model. But, oh well, it’s not my fault.

They just got me a great mother’s day present. I’m sure it was my daughter-in-laws idea. They got me 12 wines from Zagat, it’s one of the advertisers on his Jewish Business Magazine website. I got 12 white wines, 4 glasses and a binder with a description of the wines and pairings, and he said it only cost about $70, that’s pretty good.