Dave - My love letter to my honey, after 31 years.

31 years ago I said "I do" to the man of my dreams.  I'm still saying it today.

When we first met, I thought he was Adonis.  A Greek God. And the hottest hunk I'ld ever seen.

I was 15. Dave was my oldest brother's friend, and seemingly oblivious to my puppy-like presense. I don't think I ever said anything to him.  Who cared what he was actually like.... he was so danged CUTE!  Besides, I was just a kid sister.

Years went by. My family moved to Santa Barbara, I got married (he came to my first wedding!), got divorced, and life went on. I was single for many years.  Dave was still friends with both of my brothers, but I rarely saw him, as he was still in Sacramento.  And honestly I never thought of him as anything other than the cutest guy I had ever seen.  Yeah, but you know... probably a woman chaser... probably a bar fly.... probably, OK NEVER someone who would even notice me... probably has women flopping at his feet... but man is he cute. Totally out of my league, however."  etc, etc...

But then he had reason to come to Santa Barbara, with his buddy Wade, and visit my brother Joe.  Joe was always my best date, so when Dave came to town, we would all go out. We would dance, drink, even went roller skating once.

Then one night it happened.  We went to a cool dancing joint down by the pier with bales of hay, and cowboy stuff all around. Just the three of us.  Dave asked me to dance. "Meeee??? And be in your arms, you handsome hunk??? Heck Yeah???"  Course my mouth was a little more tactful... "Sure", I said.

Now, I've felt a "connection" before. And I've heard the words "animal magnetism". And I know we talk about "chemistry" in a relationship. But the love wizards were brewing up some powerful ju-ju that night, because he took me in his arms and I melted into a puddle.   His big arms enveloped me. He kissed my neck. And it was all over. I was hooked. I was easy.

But then the magic really started.  We began talking about things, for hours on the phone every night. About life. About values. Goals.  About friendship, and what's important.  And I found he was a completely different guy than I had thought.  I had thought he was just a cute guy, but I was wrong. This guy had depth.

There's a phrase I think about with him... "still waters run deep". I found he is moral to the depths of his core.  A good guy.  A deep thinker.  A man with values and principles.  He values family. He is loyal. He loves his friends, his parents, and even his friend's parents.  Until she died, he called Wade's Mom every year on Mother's Day.

And he told me he had always kept an eye on me.

We were married within the year. And the magic got better.

I watched him sit over our daughter's cradle, staring at her as she slept.  Not moving.  Barely breathing.  Just watching her in amazement.

I watched him make our daughter a cake for her 7th birthday.  "What kind do you want, Sweetie?"  "Lemon..." It was a complicated scratch cake with a custard filling.  Took forever to make. Most of it went in the bowling alley trash when the picky 7 year olds didn't like it.  "I'm sorry your cake was wasted, Daddy."  "Doesn't matter.... I  made it for YOU." Priceless.

He's never noticed his looks. When we run into old schoolmates from his highschool, I'm surprised how the popular football star had taken time to know everyone there... the plain girls, the shy boys. He remembered them all, and knew their stories.

Now 31 years later, I can say the depth of his character just keeps showing up.

There's a scrub jay that built a nest in the lemon tree outside our kitchen window.  Last year Dave wanted to keep the window open so the air conditioner would cool the baby birds.  I told him he was being ridiculous.  This year they returned.  He was concerned the male might see us in the window and be afraid to approach the nest.  "She can't do it alone...there's 4 to feed", so he taped the newspaper over our window.  He was right.  The male started feeding the babies.

Dave rides his bike on the American River bike trail.  His new love is a halogen headlight, which enables him to ride at night through the isolated wooded trails.  He was riding home recently when he spotted a lone women jogging in the dusky dark... she had misjudged her timing, and would still be jogging in the pitch black.  Dave veered over, and handed her his headlight.  "Here.  You need this more than me." Then he rode off.  Never saw her again.  He's just that kind of guy.

But the recent capper was at a vacant house in our neighborhood.  We were coming back from a walk to the river.  There was an empty foreclosure I wanted to see, and I had my lockbox key with me. "Come on let's see it now".  When we went into the back yard, the pool was goopy green.  Totally neglected.  "Dang those banks don't care about their assets", I thought.  Dave's over in the bushes poking around.  "What are you doing," I asked.  "There's a bucket of chlorine here.  It'll help the pool." 

In a vacant bank owned home! It wasn't his job.  No one would know, or even appreciate it. But he's just that kind of guy.  It needed to be done.

I can't believe how lucky I have been to be married to this guy for 31 years.  I still adore him.  He's fathered two incredible girls, he's coached them in sports, taught them to drive safely and taught them to love juiced veggies for breakfast.  He still cuts me fruit most every morning.  Today it was bananas and an apple. He helps a single mom friend of ours keep her house from falling down.  Last week he bought and installed a new battery in her dead car.  He invites our elderly neighbor for Christmas.

And I'll tell you what.... he's still the hottest, best looking guy I have ever seen.  A total hunk.  Just a little greyer and balder.  Less to comb, he says. No worries.