Why does Greed cause such an immediate cranial vacuity? Or last sometimes so agonizingly long?

We’ve been thinking about this for a while... because it’s something that appears in human beings from time to time. At first we wondered if it’s cause is chemical, how Greed shuts down a head, or electrical - some sort of synapse circuit breakdown, or is it metaphysical whatnot that causes such a good-thought meltdown?

Maybe it’s a virus, like a computer glitch, or discombobulating bacteria, a pesky, numbing staph infection or some sort of instant head softening paramecium that’s the root of it. Sometimes, mysteriously, it disappears, and the head returns to normal. But we don’t know why, really. It can un-paralyze as quickly as it debilitates. In our quest for bigger science, we thought we’d explore and document as best as we can this thoroughly perplexing dilemma.

It has happened to us before, and we think pretty much Greed has happened to everybody at one time or another. So, it isn’t something that just happens in a real estate market, and not just with Sellers, though we have seen more Seller’s heads infected and afflicted than normal recently. They will make a good test subject for our study.

Like the CDC in Atlanta, searching for an outbreak cure, or Margaret Mead on a primal African quest, or Richard Leakey searching for the missing link, lets explore first a normal head, and then compare it to one compromised and distorted by Greed.

The Normal Head:
The greed-free head works like it should. It faces forward, firing on all cylinders. Here’s a brief summary of what’s going on:

The Brain functions normally, with reason, logic and good ideas.

The Eyes see clearly and can easily discern the difference between one thing or another.

The Ears work, the auditory canal is I-can-hear-a-pin-drop clean and free of debris.

The Mouth works fine, producing a flow of smart deductions, pearls of wisdom and witty repartee as directed by the Eyes, Ears and Brain.


The GREED Head:
The first thing Greed does is turn a head around. It’s looking backward instantly. At the same time, functions go on strike. So far our study has documented some of these effects and outcomes as observable fact:

The Brain:
The first thing it does is fly out the window... about as fast as the second lemming follows the lead lemming into the North Atlantic. Among the observable Greed symptoms that causes the Brain to empty:

• Rational thought goes down the toilet.
• Logic quickly follows.
• Reason flushes it.
• The toilet burps when done.

The Eyes:
Vision is immediately impaired in total, no-need-for-a-seeing-eye-dog shutdown. How we know that for sure is to show someone a house that is obviously much nicer than the one they own to help them set a listing price. Then here’s what happens:

• They look at it.
• Then decide their house is much nicer than the nicer one. (it’s a mis-fire from the optic nerve to the brain).
• Price goes out the window along with the eyesight.
• They’ve got it-doesn’t-apply-to-my-house blinders on.
• The eyes direct the mouth to stop making sense.

The Ears:
Hearing goes into total shutdown. It’s like they fill with hot wax to better hold the rubber stoppers that go in them. A few examples of easy things to hear that infected Greed-Head ears miss:

• "Maybe we’re priced too high."
• "Do you think we should come down a bit."
• "We’re high against our competition."
• "The market isn’t what it was back in 2005."
• "That other broker you’re talking about hasn’t sold it either."
• "There’s 40 other houses on the market that are your direct competition."
  

The Mouth:
Really dumb stuff starts coming from here. Direction from the Brain, Eyes and Ears flies south for the winter, and without it, the Mouth flaps foolishly like a flummoxed flagella. Here’s a few examples of the doofus dribble:

• "I really don’t have to sell."
• "Lets see if I can get lucky. All I need is one Buyer."
• "I gotta have this much __________ !" (fill in amount)
• "My neighbor says I should get this much  ___________!"  (fill in the rest)
• "I got a friend who’s a realtor who says he can sell it for this much __________!" (fill in the rest)
• "It isn’t being advertised right."
• "All your numbers are academic."
• "Those numbers don’t apply to my house."
• "I heard from another real estate company that prices are up."
• "I’m going to re-list with another broker." (the one who hasn’t sold it either)

We're still working on this study and as new observable and documentable phenomena emerges, we'll keep you posted. (Whew! This was harder than chemistry class.)