Can we just start calling it the Oilcean and move on please?

Sporting an oil stain on their now black logo, @BPGlobalPR is spoofing BP on Twitter, putting out Tweets such as:

Catastrophe is a strong word, let's all agree to call it a whoopsie daisy.

Please do NOT take or clean any oil you find on the beach. That is the property of British Petroleum and we WILL sue you.

We are aware of the health risks facing clean up volunteers, which is why BP is offering each one a free pack of cigarettes on us.

If the press keeps badmouthing our dispersant, we may just have to use it on them! I'm talking to you @huffingtonpost - J/K!

Really worried about the effect this disaster will have on bikini season. The sun is still shining ladies, get outt there!

Looks like the oil is on its way around Florida and up the East Coast. Consider it a hug America! Free "BP Cares" shirts - #iwantmybptshirt

We just saw a shark fight an octopus inside the geyser. Almost made this whole thing worth it.

If we had a dollar for every complaint about this oil spill, it wouldn't compare to our current fortune. Oil is a lucrative industry!

Jesus walked on water and soon you can too! (Please pray for BP, we're losing a lot of oil).

The good news: Mermaids are real. The bad news: They are now extinct. #bpcares

Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You're welcome!

Just saw new satellite images of the spill. Actually, it kinda looks like the Earth has a beauty mark! Ooolala! @CindyCrawford #bpcares

We feel terrible about spilling oil in American waters, we'll make sure the next spill happens where the terrorists live. #bpcares

Finally got my hands on some WD-40... Hard to focus on anything with this squeaky desk chair driving me nuts. #bpcares

It's official, the phrase "All the tea in china" has been replaced with 'All the oil in the gulf" - Can't wait for the royalties! #bpcares

Oh man, just wrapped up an EPIC game of grab ass with Gov. Bobby Jindal. He definitely won. #bpcares

Eating at a very expensive restaurant and spilled salad dressing on my pants. Not sure how to tackle this.

Btw, does anyone have Criss Angel's email? I bet he can make this oil disappear! #bpbelievesinmagic #bpcares

Just wrapped up a meeting with the EPA. Terry kept farting out loud at all the right moments. Not sure how he does it, but it's SO FUNNY!

We're not showing footage of Top Kill tomorrow because Terry dropped the Flipcam in the toilet. I don't even want to ask how it happened.

Just found Terry throwing mud at the ocean. You got to love his enthusiasm but I'm starting to think he doesn't deserve his 700k a year.

A lot of people are asking if we could have prevented this mess. Honestly, we have no clue. Our hindsight is 20/80. #bpcares

 

They want to fine us $4,300 for every barrel of oil spilled? Umm, we're not spilling barrels, the oil is going directly into the gulf. DUH

 

Someone from an Alaska area code keeps trying to call us. Not answering for fear it's an angry and newly pregnant Bristol Palin #itsnotmine

 

People are really out to get us. I haven't seen the public attack somebody this unfairly since poor Jay Leno had to move his timeslot.

 

Just saw new satellite images of the spill. Actually, it kinda looks like the Earth has a beauty mark! Ooolala! @CindyCrawford #bpcares

 

BTW, Top Kill is also our xbox live handle if anyone wants to play some red dead redemption. #bpcares #rddallday

 

After 38 long days, we've finally fixed it... No, not the leak! Terry joined twitter! RT @bpTerry testes, testes 1,2.... 3!?!?!?! lol.

Flying Rand Paul in to consult. Evidently he's an expert at keeping black out of places. #bpcares

Can we just start calling it the oilcean and move on please? #bpcares

 

BP Public Relations