If you have enough friends you never have to sell anything. If you have ever attended the Carnegie Institute you almost certainly know that in 1936 Dale Carnegie wrote, "How To Win Friends and Influence People". My uncle, Benjamin Wilkes Hale, did his best to get me to read it when I was about seven. It was much later before I finally picked it up.
During my formative businessman years, from about age twenty to age thirty-five, I really chewed through life. There were two kinds of people to me, useful and useless. Unfortunately for me most people were useless. My friends were all outside of my business world and everyone in my industry was relegated to a sub-category called "useless but necessary". Of course there was no actual list on paper or computer just a filing system inside of a mind yet to develop and grasp my opening sentence.
If you have enough friends you never need to sell anything. Why? Your friends will sell for you. Recently we had a kickoff to open our new southeastern regional office facilities in a very nice five star office building here in Atlanta. We gathered a good representation of our employees into one of the larger conference facilities and I was asked to close the event.
When I stood up to speak I had my normal "so glad you came, sell a bunch by lunch - be a winner by dinner" talk when it dawned on me that's not what I do. I was about to tell these people to do something I don't do myself. So what is it I do and does it work for me?
I make friends. Of course I am a little older than most of you and I have been making friends for several years but it is never too late to start. Be a friend. Be more interested in what others have to say to you than what you have to say to them. Have you ever known a person who can't wait for you to shutup so they can get started saying what they want to say? Sure you have. If not you may ask your friend(s) if that person is you. I certainly have been guilty.
When you enter a conversation lead with your ears and enter a lot of conversations. The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease - it also gets replaced. Attend meetings in person regardless of their size. If you are invited go! Collect business cards and send follow up emails or notes. Keep a birthday log and use it! Become that person who never sells anything and become that person who always comes to the top of people's minds when your industry is mentioned.
Ken Cook - Web coder (I write the programs that make the whole world zing!) (678) 439-8683 Anything your mind can conceive I can create - online that is!
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I was a late Bloomer I didn't read "How To Win Friends and Influence People" Until after I graduated from the 8th grade. But, my Father and Grandfather lived it. My Grandfather preached it.
"When you enter a conversation lead with your ears and enter a lot of conversations." This is great advice!
"When you enter a conversation lead with your ears and enter a lot of conversations. The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease - it also gets replaced"
Listening to people is an art that leads to "hearing" them which leads to friendships. I have never sold a property to a friend I only "helped " them. Good advice Ken.
Hi Ken, Great post! I love "How to win Friends and Influence people". I recommend it to everyone. It is so simple to be surrounded with people who like you because you are interested in what they say. Great info.
Hi Ken: Greetings from Las Vegas! I enjoyed your posting. Thank you for reminding me what is most important. We all need to remember that God gave us one mouth and two ears. There was a reason for that.
Great post. I love the referrals in our business. I had an appointment today, where they basically said, so and so said to call you, that's ALL we need to know. Did you bring a sign to put in the yard?
Your honesty about "useless" people is refreshing. It's easy to automatically make assumptions about people without even getting to know them personally. I have had to really 'work' at listening instead of just hearing my customers. This has helped my business greatly. I am truly committed to helping my customers instead of just 'making a sale'.
Ken - You and I have been on the same wavelength for some time now. Maybe our show is making us like an old married couple? I just read Dale Carnegie's book for the first time this month, and I've been teaching my kids the principles therein. The stories in the book make it easier to illustrate his points to them, of course. As you know, I feel exactly the same way you do about making friends. EVERYONE has the potential to send business, so why exclude anyone?
Ken thanks for sharing. You had some great one-liners in your post here too. Mr. Carnegie would be pleased. It's good advice, and I agree with the whole concept of having lots of friends, and how strong relationships are essential to business. Thanks again.
Your 'friends' network is truly important. It's nice now that we have social media. It makes it much more easy to keep in touch with others and let them know what's going on in your life. I think we these new tools, the average person (salesman) will be able to juggle a much larger network and create even more success than any other time prior.
I read that book a while ago. It's truly a timeless classic. One time my colleague had issues with another realtor who was jus being totally obnoxious. She said to her "Why can't you just be nice?" and the other person said "I'm not in this business to make friends!"
That Carnegie fellow made a lot of sense. Thinking of it, with enough friends you don't have to sell anything. Sure makes you to reconsider couple of things in how to market yourself.
I recently read Carnegie for the first time and was glad to learn that I already practice some of the philosophies, but I have to improve in others. Being a good listener is one of the most critical character traits to develop in any line of business (or life in general). People might not remember your name (which is why you hand out cards) but they WILL REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL! It isn't important if they remember our name, but we must remember theirs.
Great post Ken. That is truly a better way to go. I love the line "The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease - it also gets replaced." I know I'll be using that one somewhere. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent advice! You can't lose by being a friend -- it doesn't have to bring you business because the reward is already there, but if your friendship happens to benefit your business, that's pretty nice!
Wow! Thanks guys. Your comments are all truly inspiring. It's very wonderful to see so many people with such positive outlooks and genuine desire to be trustworthy members of our great industry.
Funny though....this is basic sales, listen, listen, listen....care about the needs of the clients. I think we are just discussing semantics. :) Good post.
Ken, great comments and insight. The Carnegie course is great and recommended for anyone who interacts with people. After all, aren't we all salespeople in one way or another?
Thanks, Ken. Applicable to any aspect of real estate - sales, lending, etc. I can remember going through my dad's things when he passed away many years ago and finding a diploma from the Carnegie Institute and a dog-eared hard cover book he must have reread many times. Been in my library ever since.
Ken you are correct with the blog post as I read it I thought wow someone got it just like I have got it. Folks in general wish to work with someone that they like someone that will listen to what they are wanting and try to help them achieve their goal of purchasing a home or property in general. Listen follow through and do the best you can and guess what life happens you make new friends and it is wonderful to be a Real Estate Broker
LOL, glad to see your back Ken. I read one sentence & thought to myself - those are the people that can't wait to start talking - and then you had the same sentence. Shutup & listen, it really is good advice.
I have a lot of friends - unfortunately, several of them are also REALTORS and it can make it uncomfortable for the rest of the friends since our large group usually knows all of us. I finally partnered up with one of them which helped a bit, but I still get in the middle of "Judy, I want to list with you but I'm not sure what so and so will think and I don't want to make her mad." Thing is, except for my partner, we're all full-time, successful agents with many years of experience. So I always have to continue going outside of the "friends" group. No problem, you can never have enough!
Ken, Great post! Funny how I find myself thinking...that guy never read Carnegie....or That gal needs to learn to win friends....Then, I look in the mirror and try to re-adjust and find a friend.
You are absolutely right on point here. Sometimes it's hard for us to remember that the world does not revolve around us. Leading with the ears sums it up though. Being a good listener is very difficult but is also very rewarding in the end. Good topic for a post.
I try to find ways to help people I know... lots of times the introductions can be massively valuable. Of course, I do need to be better at shutting up...
You're speaking the truth Ken on Carnegie's teachings. Do not forget his "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". Both must reads or if too busy, they are on CD.
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Ken,
Great post, I enjoyed reading it. Happy Sunday!