Absorbing the Brunt of Frustrations

I have said to many clients over the years... about inspections, negotiations, underwriting issues, appraisals, attorneys, closings ect...  "I worry about that for you, so you don't have to".  I have always worked well with pressure.  I worked under daily deadline pressure for a newspaper for 7 years before my real estate career... it was great training.  Listening is a wonderful skill and so is allowing clients and even co-workers (or agents (if you are the broker)) to vent vent vent and get it out and then deal with it.

Sally - listening, not hearing, may be the most important thing we do. If we don't really listen, we can''t then effectively help them with all the information, knowledge and experience we have to help solve the problem.

Real estate is often very emotional, with short sales perhaps being some of the most difficult. it is no wonder folks can get very emotional andneed to express their feelings.

Jeff

Sally,

You'd think any thing so basic would be common.

Sadly few actually listen.

Good post! Thanks.

Bill

Stressful for buyers, sellers and agents involved.  Stressful for everyone involved but the banks because they, the banks, have nothing to lose.

What a nice place to be. 

"frustrations that goes along with EVERY short sale."

Sally, I hear you and I am just very happy that our market is not inundated with short sales like many other areas! Hang in there my friend!

I agree, Sally, but I also agree that you have to set limits.  One couple whose home I have been trying to short sell was getting increasingly rude and demanding, and yet when I tried to reach them for something I needed or just to give them an update, they were too busy to talk to me. 

Finally, a few days ago, I went to get signatures on some papers and was met with a barrage of obscenities - the worst - directed at the bank and then directed at me.  I felt angry but also a bit frightened by the husband, and I fired them.  I had tried to be understanding for months because of the stress I knew they were suffering, but they reached my limit when the husband was yelling obscenities, pacing around and slamming doors. 

It was scary and I don't need to be treated like that when I've been working so hard to help them.  I prepared a cancellation of the listing for them to sign, and I asked for no part of any commission and didn't even ask for reimbursement of any expenses.  I just don't want them in my life any more.

At the same time, I have been working for another short selling couple who are constantly telling me how appreciative they are.  The opposite extreme.  We just closed on theirs, and we have become close friends during the 13 month process. Too bad they all aren't like that.

Sally it can be very satisfying when we get a Short Sale to finally Close, they are not easy.  I have one right now going on 100 days and time is running out on their Tax Credit.  I have the Loan all set to Close but the Bank has not signed off on the Short Sale yet.  Hope they get it done before Wednesday.

I have only worked the buyer side of a short sale and sometimes forget the pain that the Seller must be feeling, especially when faced with the new owners of the house they put their hope and dreams in.  They do need extra care and attention, and a lot of understanding.   However, there is never an excuse for them to take it out on the person trying to help them.

Sally, this was a nice post.  We are part of very crucial times in people's lives and that requires a lot of empathy and some good listening skills.

Sally, I wonder about this many times, I have come to believe we are the ones they can touch and talk to and vent.

It is hard and we question ourselfs too.

When it is really going south we cc ALL parties on every email.

"Because I am the closest one to them during this time that actually listens."

Perfectly put, Sis.  That's a fact in my book.  I believe bedside manner is just as important as competence at the end of the day.

I had a client throw up on me during a home inspection on a short sale last November.  That will go in my books of forever remembering that transaction :)

I do have a rule when I counsel my clients at the beginning of their search.  I call it the "two cry rule".  They are only allowed to cry to me twice during the entire process and I tell them that they want to save it till the bitter end.   So when I feel their frustration building I smile and ask them if they are going to use one of their two cries and then they laugh :)  Borrow it if you would like!

Well said Sally!  We have to have great empathy in this business with Great Big Ears!! You should be proud of yourself.  You can vent here on the RAIN and everyone here at least completely understands.

Woo Hoo, Well said as always. Sadly as helpful as the short sales to seller's, banks, buyers and real estate , there can be many obstacles that can occur and it does require tons of patience, good communication and discipline to the process and that is just on the Buyers side. Multiply that by the number of parties involved and it is easy to see and even understand the frustration levels. Nerves get irritated and may be soothed with a dose of good information and great big swallow of empathy. We are writing lots of real estate prescriptions these days.

Short sales are indeed stressful for ALL involved in the process!