One of the perks of not having to sell anything in these parts is it allows me to write about anything. As is if that ever stopped me before.
The political arena started becoming interesting for me in my latter years of high school, when dimples were replaced by the cynical zits of the inevitable Real World. I took interest in the intellectual, philosophical, & eye-opening debates of one supposed truth vs. another. In a quiet sort of way, I was hooked.
In more recent years, I'm fairly disgusted on a regular basis. In my short experience period, I thought Conservative principles were better adept at economic & foreign policy. I thought more Liberal principles were the ones that allowed a better understanding and implementation of helping rid of us racism, bigger government control that wasis frankly none of their business in our everyday lives and intellectual growth that would grow, rather than foster like a mushroom growing under Cow Dung. But maybe that's just me.
And then I see things like this, which I thought was a bit funny ... until I realized some folks take it seriously. I'm not a One-World Guy. I love competition, free enterprise, the humanity of the arts, the fact that dissension is inevitable and disagreement can be quite healthy. And I'm pretty certain that life is unfair and I certainly don't advocate winning a trophy for coming in second to Rush in the Talk Show Ratings. Well, I've pontificated enough... here's my retort, for what it is worth:
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
American conservatives, righties, tea baggers, constitutionalists, Reagan humpers and anyone who voted for either Bush since Rove wouldn't run ... Fox News has made me realize that perhaps I want a divorce. Besides, the only thing that costs more ... is falling in love. Think about that;)
I know we each came full brunt with our version of the truth and we've taken our turns trading spaces with running this country. We'll never agree, that's granted. Extremes tend to beckon such a reaction. Or maybe you are still pissed off because I'm carrying Fonda's purse as Ted makes a mint making a reality show out of my one-time lip lock with Barney Frank.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Let's say we divide the Country. It can be kind of like the Civil War. That's mature, right? Let me guess, you want to play Abe Lincoln? Okay, cool. It's yours. We'll play the South this time around.
We don't like folks who spout about big government but then want to legislate personal choices. And nobody likes taxes, besides those IRS people. I'm for a consumption tax, myself. You can have the wars and guns if you want; we'll take the God & Jesus route on that one. Frankly, visualizing Christ with a M-16 isn't in my particular book of prayer. And about those celebrities, as a fair trade-off, you get to keep Chuck "I counted to infinity twice" Norris and Meatloaf.
You can have your beloved Mr. Beck, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, & whatever gal that is deemed hot & smart (aligned with your wave of logic). We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey mom (I always kind of liked Todd), intellectual wonder & ever-growing thought process. You can keep the Anarchist's Cookbook and we'll give you talk radio and a prime-time spot on Larry King if you can actually make a plausible argument. Please continue to provide China with more ass than u can shake Gordon Geiko's last one-night stand at. Somewhere Daryl Hannah will be smiling.
Scientology? WTF? Cruise was gone in our book after his role in The Outsiders. We don't want him either:) You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be playing dumb when someone wants to attack us because we want to shoot rockets out our ass for shits and grins. Keep those SUVs, pickup trucks and over-sized luxury cars. I'll walk to keep our insurance rates down.
If Healthcare is a luxury, I'll entertain that. I've read a bunch of you and I have one question. How many of you are collecting Social Security of any kind? Really? Cause if you are, the argument debate goes a bit deeper than maybe you'd like. And if you are not, we'll keep Springsteen and Foster. You can have Cash (hate to let that one go) and Snoop Dog ... just cause I like to irritate the irritable.
And our economy is quite simple. We exchange hash brownies and feverish smiles. Or, we think about things. Hard work, smart work, combined ... are a hell of a way to be.
Sincerely,
Jason M. Sardi, Provider of sweat on a 100 Degree Day, & man of few words, rarely.
P.S. Also, please take Malkin, anyone in charge in Arizona, and My Uncle Bob. I like Uncle Bob, yet he's out of touch. Hard worker, good man, but out of touch. And I firmly believe that him being a good man will garner enough understanding that his suspenders will be in touch before his time wears out.
P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English. We'll press 2 for Latin, because your English isn't so good. Take a class, folks.
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