While I am typing this blog I can hear our thirteen year old Golden Retriever, Sarah, wrestle between panting and labored breathing... we knew this day was coming. We had noticed a change in Sarah this past February. She went with us on a walk and got wore out towards the end...so not like her. Then, within the next 24 hours, we noticed she was swelling up. Something was wrong. We took her to the doctor and found out that she had cancer. They took blood to see how far along it was...and gave her nine months...at best...to live.
Not Sarah...couldn't be. She was always so happy and full of life. Everyone who met her immediately loved her. Of course, what was not to love? Now...we sit at the thresh hold of a decision... Do we let her die naturally or do we help put her out of her discomfort and pain? I can't answer the question at this moment...all I know is that we are wrestling with that question just as Sarah is wrestling with her pain.
I don't want to focus in on the negative now...but I did want to introduce you to our dog, Sarah...while she's still here with us. She wasn't my dog initially...I got her when I married my husband almost three years ago. She was his most prized possession. He had raised her from a pup and went with him everywhere he went. Sarah, by default, became the "spokes dog" for Purina products. Larry was working for America's Country Stores and was required to make weekly visits. Sarah was right there by his side. Her job was to love the folks she met and she did her job with great enthusiasm.
Sarah is not a barker...but communicates quiet well with a smile or a glance to let you know where she wants to go...or NOT go. She's a smart dog...one of the smartest I have ever known. She respects those around her...including her fellow animals. Only when she is told will she go after a critter. When we got our pullets recently we introduced her to them. She looked in the box of peeping chicks and then looked at us as if to get her instructions on how to handle them. Larry told her that she was to leave them alone...and left alone they have been. Even so...she enjoys watching them as much as I do.
Sarah loves company... She gets giddy with excitement to see any new face...knowing she will win their hearts too. Over the past month she has been showing more signs of failing. When I had Larry's surprise birthday party this past Sunday...she greeted as many as she could...but the best she could do was just lay where we were. She wanted to be a part of our celebration. The day before the party, she was having a particularly hard day of discomfort. I laid down beside her and asked her if she could hold on til after Larry's birthday. I know it sounds crazy...but I think she understood.
Sarah knows when we are hurting and will come along side us to offer comfort. When Larry or I have been sick...she will come and lay beside our bed. It's only right that we do the same for her now as she is facing the sunset of her life.... Before Larry left this morning he crouched down by Sarah...held her head and let her know it was okay for her to go home. I watched as he spoke to her with gentleness and grace and with tears rolling down his face. He wasn't sure she would be there when he got home today.
How do you describe a love between a man and his dog? How can one blog describe all the experiences...good and bad...that were shared between two living beings? You can't...as hard as I try to express the life of our dog on these pages...you will probably never know fully just what a great dog she has been.
I was blessed to adopt Sarah as my own dog. She has impacted my life in so many ways and continues to do so as she faces the end of her life. Some dogs just have that ability... Sarah is one of those dogs.
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