This home we don't purchase, rent or lease, but nonetheless, some of us at some point in life may find ourselves in need of. These homes are nursing or care homes. |
Myrl, you have hit a sore subject within my family. My oldest daughter is a nurse, her job in a local nursing home is director of staff development. Her nursing home ranks 4 out of 5 stars in all areas. She works very hard to keep everyone up to date and educated on how to do everything.
There are some good ones out there, and sometimes they are a necessary evil. But things are looking grim for nursing homes on the whole. There are some pretty screwy ideas Medicare has either put in place or wants to put in place about pay scales, etc. which may shut many down.
I hope I never have to go. But there may be a time when my family can't do it. Then what do you do?
It is imperative that family check out the ratings of nursing homes before placing someone there.
How very sad for your friend and her daughter..............they will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Andrea - Thank you for your input on this important topic. After this incident with my friend's family, I immediately checked the rankings of two local care homes to me. I have had friends in both, who were very satisfied with their care. Both these homes received 4 and 5 stars in most areas. It put into perspective the 1 and 2 stars of the case I document in the story above.
Nursing is a calling, almost more than it is a profession. Knowing you, I suspect your daughter is exceptional in her position.
Roger - Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. . .They are appreciated greatly!
Wow Myrl, What a story. This sounds like the nightmare I have heard spoken of tied to UHC. But that isn't even in effect as yet and this story should put the fear associated with it into a perspective people can understand if it isn't handled correctly. Bureaucrats doing health care certainly doesn't sound too good to me. This is so very sad that a family and patient would be so mistreated.
My young nephew and name sake was diagnosed with childhood diabetes. He was a young man. He lived alone and he had an incident at night , fell to floor and was found 3 days later when he didn't show up for work.
Your post is a real heart breaker and those acquainted with Diabetes and other catastrophic diseases will really understand what you are saying. I can't even begin to imagine what this family and the daughter have gone through. I am just stunned that such things can happen in this day and age and yet realistic enough to know that they certainly do and all too frequently no doubt.
Among the many things wrong about America is the way we shunt elders aside and have specialists "take care of" them.
Myrl, I came back to tell you that I recommended this post for feature. What a well told story of how this family was so amazingly mistreated.
William - I am grateful that you have recommended this story for "Feature" status. I am hopeful that it reaches enough eyes, that someone can make a difference. As much as I tend to agree that bureaucrats doing health care doesn't sound good, I'm not exhilarated by having healthcare for profit either. Especially, when shortcuts in care to create that profit become the norm. It is indeed a very heartbreaking story!
Jim - You are so right about shunting elders aside! In this particular case, the daughter was living with the mother, who has helped provide excellent care. Currently she is with the daughter at the care home most of the day, helping to oversee her care. The mother also has her own health issues, which adds to the magnitude of the situation.
Your friend and her daughter are indeed in our prayers! It is a shame that institutions like this exist!
Barbara-Jo - Thank you so much!
For those with family members with Type I diabetes my friend's daugher was lined up to particpate in Phase II for the clinical trial for Type I with the Faustman Labs at Harvard. Her new appt is next Apil. Her mother is not cancelling it yet. This cure is non-invasive and is the only one that will take a long-term diabetic. There is hope, and her daughter wanted other diabetics to find hope for living free of the disease.
What a story, Myrl. I didn't know that nursing homes have star ratings. But that is exactly what I used to threaten my mother with when I was a kid and she annoyed me.
Myrl- I am so sorry for your friend and, of course, for her daughter. My husband and I have been fortunate in that his mother researched adult care facilities when she still was very capable. She then moved into one on her own because she did not want her children to have to make the decision. In the years since she has been in one, she has progressed into total care. I am so thankful everyday that she made her choice because I know this is where she chose to be.
Elizabeth - I have seen how you treat your cats, who are living in the lap of luxury. I doubt any threats made to your mother when you were a kid, would have been believed or taken seriously:-)
Kathy - Your mother's actions in regard to her care were so fortunate for your family. I'm glad it worked out so well for all of you.
Myrl~
Having spent months preparing for and selecting a rehab facility for my Dad after a stoke left him paralyzed, I am very aware of this difficult subject. Our family members stayed with Dad while he was there. We converged on the facility to help feed him breakfast, and someone was there with him for all meals and until bedtime. Soon the nurses and staff realized that he was to be handled with dignity and care. And soon he came home with us where we were able to provide quality of life for him.
But so many patients do not have family and friends nearby.
I admire the way you tackle this story. THANK YOU!
JaneAnne - I am convinced your family's way of assisting with your dad's care is the only way to go -if it is possible. We have done that in our family as well.
I think it helps for care home staff to see family oversight, input and assistance with care. I also think it helps speed healing in many instances, so your family member can come home sooner, if it is in the realm of reality. Thank you for sharing your story..
Hi Myrl, thanks for talking about this tough issue. Both my parents died in a nursing home, and I have mixed feelings on the care they received. It helps if the kids live nearby so they can bridge the gap and stand in as an advocate when things aren't being done as they should. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a loved one on the other side of the country in a nursing home. In our area the choices are limited due to a shortage of nursing care beds available.
Myrl, my best to your friends daughter. I have an aunt in a nursing home so I decided to go to medicare.gov to check out it's rating. Overall the rating was pretty good, but I was a little disappointed that a fair amount of the rating came from the nursing home self-reporting some of the data used. Still, it's good info to know.
My heart and prayers are going out to you, your friend and your friend's daughter. What a horrifying experience. I'm so sorry that you are all going through this.
We've got to figure out a better alternative to a nursing home. If young kids in ever community could donate an hour or two a week we could breath some energy, optimism, enthusiasm and love into a very sad place. It would be good for the kids and our loved ones who are in nursing homes. It would also encourage our kids to get involved with good nutrition and exercise so they can be as healthy as possible to lead a better life. Volunteering may be the most rewarding thing a person can do in life.
My heart and prayers are going out to you, your friend and your friend's daughter. What a horrifying experience. I'm so sorry that you are all going through this.
We've got to figure out a better alternative to a nursing home. If young kids in ever community could donate an hour or two a week we could breath some energy, optimism, enthusiasm and love into a very sad place. It would be good for the kids and our loved ones who are in nursing homes. It would also encourage our kids to get involved with good nutrition and exercise so they can be as healthy as possible to lead a better life. Volunteering may be the most rewarding thing a person can do in life.
Bruce - In our family there was a grandmother that was in a nursing home longterm (she was blind, and had suffered a broken hip and could not walk. She was content at the home, and received good care. We visited often. I also had a father-in-law with lung cancer,that spent his last few weeks in one. We were with him nearly 24/7. From my experience, I feel it is vital to have a family member in close proximity to the care home.
Nick - I suspect that the rating system has some short comings; but I'm glad there is at least some tool in place to start with.
Maya - I agree with you about getting kids involved in nursing home volunteerism. We see a little of that at our local nursing home, and I think it's wonderful.
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