Battling Spouses-How this stager eluded capture!

Last Saturday I drove over an hour to a home planning to do a staging. I was initially called by the wife but all subsequent calls were conducted by the husband.  I thought this was a bit odd as the husband was living out of town due to a job transfer and the wife was "preparing" the house for sale. 

The husband told me that his wife was a collector and had some memorabilia.  That was an understatement.  Every flat surface was covered with collections, there were curio cabinets, shelves and if it could be hung it was!  Both husband and wife had been watching staging shows and suspected that the collections would have to go into storage or what I like to call "prepack".  But when I actually said, "We need to neutralize the great room so that prospective buyers can visualize their belongings here,"  I thought I might be a dead woman.  

The husband understood and was very supportive, this of course just made his wife angrier.  I was verbally abused, told my ideas were the most ridiculous things she had ever heard and that what I was planning to do to the great room would ruin the atmosphere that she had worked so hard to create.  I kept my cool, finished the initial consultation phase of the staging and looked the husband directly in the eye and said, "It will take several hours to get this room ready to be staged.  I don't feel that you should pay me to pack boxes.  I can tell you how I would move the furniture and what accessories and wall art I would use, then when the room is ready you can stage it."  The husband took the hint, accepted my reason for leaving without doing the staging, and paid me a bit more than my consultation fee.  I felt incredibly relieved when I drove away and knew that I came close to meeting the same fate as the deer head they had mounted in the great room!

 
Post is included in group: Carnival of Content - Staging Professionals

18 Comments on Battling Spouses-How this stager eluded capture!

Pat, glad that you survived to stage another day.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away.  

08/17/2007 10:26 PM by Maureen Henry - Rockland Home Staging (www.rocklandhomestaging.com)


Pat -- what a funny story - although I imagine it wasn't to funny at the time.  cracked me up when you compared your possible demise to the deer head!

08/17/2007 10:27 PM by Karen Dembsky, Atlanta Home Staging (Peachtree Home Staging LLC, Home Staging in Atlanta, GA)


Welcome to ActiveRain, Pat! That's quite a challenging situation you found yourself in, and I would say you handled it very well. The wife needs to understand that prospective buyers are only buying the house, not her 'atmosphere.'

08/17/2007 10:38 PM by John Novak - Las Vegas and Henderson NV Real Estate (Keller Williams Realty The Marketplace)


Pat, that's a great story.  You handled it like a true professional.  Being in this business requires some excellent acting skills, no?

08/17/2007 10:47 PM by Palmetto Bay | Redland Real Estate | Maggie Dokic (EWM Realtors)


Pat, I needed a good laugh today and you provided it.  Thank you.  Very glad you escaped the fate of the deer.  Betty

08/17/2007 10:48 PM by Betty Haney (Attention to Detail)


Pat, this is great stuff. You handled yourself well, obviously, and it's a good thing you had the husband on board. Thanks for sharing!

08/17/2007 10:56 PM by Ryan Hukill - Edmond RealtorĀ® (Hukill Group - Paradigm Realty)


Pat, you did a fantastic job averting the potential disaster! I love that you held your ground and also very honest with the sellers. Generally when I encounter the situation I also explained at the open house, people can steal and/or break things very easily and that's the last thing you want for these precious items.

Welcome!

Cheers,

Cindy 

ps. LOVE your logo BTW. 

08/18/2007 02:07 AM by Cindy Lin @ Staged4more, ASPM, IAHSP, IRIS (Staged4more Home Staging & Redesigns)


Pat - you poor thing. 

From the sounds of it, you handled yourself like the pro you are.  Kudos to you!  And I too am glad you were spared the same fate of the deer head.  Too funny.

Kathy

08/18/2007 06:25 AM by Kathy Nielsen, Atlanta Home Stager (Georgia Interior Solutions, LLC)


Hey Pat....good job handling those clients.  Those are such uncomfortable situations and when the spouses are divided, it gets a bit stressful...and you stayed professional!!  Regards-Kathleen

08/18/2007 09:04 AM by Kathleen Garvey-- Enhanced Interiors-Home Staging Florida (Enhanced Interiors & Home Staging, LLC)


WOW Pat I haven't been caught in that crossfire yet.  But I did a consult with a wife who kept telling me her husband wouldn't allow this or that.  I finally told her, the house had been on the market 18 months, she was either going to have to step in and make some decisions, or the house would sit another 18 months.  I have no idea what she decided.  I got paid and left.  But I can see how a woman would be totally insulted if her husband brought in a stager.  Afterall we are supposed to be the ones to make the nest, and for him to insinuate her nesting abilities were below par, would be insulting.

08/18/2007 01:08 PM by Terry Haugen STAGE it RIGHT! 321-956-2495 (Stage it Right!)


Pat, welcome to Active Rain! Glad to see you have jumped on the bloggin wagon!

08/18/2007 04:10 PM by Marci Toliver, Anderson, SC/ Spartanburg/Greenville SC/ Home Staging (Fresh Eye Designs)


Hi Pat,

You probably missed a bullet, but don't be surprised if they call you back in 3 or 4 months afer it's hasn't sold.

08/18/2007 11:27 PM by Susan Peters - Seattle Realtor/Staging Specialist (Re/Max Mutual Realty)


Staging is a thousand things, Pat, only one of which is psychology.  I think you did the right thing, and I certainly agree with Susan.  Don't be surprised if you receive a future call from the husband!

Welcome to AR.  Hope you like it "in the Rain".

Cheers! from DC...

    Jaynee

09/18/2007 09:39 AM by Jaynee Acevedo, Capital Style Home Staging (Capital Style Home Staging)


Welcome Pat!  Thank you for the giggle this morning.  Great that you held your ground.  Sometimes we really don't know what we are walking into... glad you dodged that bullet :)

09/18/2007 10:11 AM by Lori Kim Polk, Sacramento Area Home Staging (Artful Journey Designs and Staging)


Pat

Great blog title=I just had to read it.  At least you got paid for your time & did not have to face the MRS all by yourself.  Thanks for sharing the experience- we can all relate & you handled it well!

Kathy

10/16/2007 02:51 PM by Kathy Riggle Houston Home Staging-STAGING SMART NSOLD (STAGING SMART N SOLD)


YIKES! I once ran into a similar situation with a mother & daughter.  The mother had dimensia.  She couldn't remember from one minute to the next.... not a pretty situation.  I, unfortunately, did not have the opportunity to escape like you did.  GREAT JOB!  It was handled with tact and dignity.  Boy does the husband have some work ahead of him though!

10/16/2007 04:18 PM by Melissa Marro www.StagingAndRedesign.com www.RedesigningCharleston.com (First Impressions)


I hope you have the chance to go home, put your feet up, have a glass of wine, and thank God you didn't have to go back!

This is an excellent example of how to remain calm and professional under pressure! 

12/15/2007 01:36 PM by Kristina, KFM Staging & Design - A Minnesota Home Staging Company (KFM Staging & Design)


Too funny, I was just recounting a similar experience - I automatically turn "stage" day into "consultation" day.

Jackie

12/15/2007 03:04 PM by Jackie Peraza, Home Stager - Framingham, Massachusetts (Perceptions AdverStaging(TM), LLC)


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