Sometimes life has a way of slapping you in the face. As REALTORS®, we've all been guilty of neglecting our own families to serve the needs of others. In this business, clients don't care if you have a life of your own. When you're working with THEM...your time is THEIR time. THEIR family is what matters....not yours.
Thursday, I was showing property to a new client. We had 7 homes to look at. Between homes #5-6, I received a call from my ex-husband who was watching my son. "Logan has a nosebleed and I can't get it to stop. There's so much blood." My response? "It's a nosebleed...just keep pinching his nose and it will stop." I was actually irritated that he was interrupting my work.
While in home #6, my ex-husband called me back. "Lina, this isn't a normal nosebleed....Logan is filling up the kitchen sink. It's not dripping blood....it's like a faucet has been turned on and it's coming out of his nose and mouth." While the client looked at the home, I called Logan's doctor, who said to call an ambulance and they would be able to look at him right away. REALLY?!? For a nosebleed?
When the ambulance arrived, I was in Home #7. Yes....that's right....I kept showing property. The ambulance personnel said, "Ma'am, this is bad. We're not going to able to get this stopped. We're going to have to transport him to the hospital. Which hospital would you like to send him to?"
Okay....NOW you have my attention! I left the client and headed straight for the ER. On the way there, I called the office to let them know what was going on. As I got closer to the hospital, the reality of what was happening started sinking in, and before long....I was a crying mess! I made it to the hospital before the ambulance arrived. They told me to sit in the waiting area. After two minutes....I couldn't sit still.
I headed out the door to the place where the ambulance would arrive. I know it's a restricted area, but could care less. I was mentally DARING them to stop me from walking over there.
The ambulance pulled up, and the back doors opened. There was my son strapped to a gurney with blood all over his face, no shirt on, and he wasn't smiling....his head was drooping over to one side as if he wanted to go to sleep. The ambulance personnel hopped out of the back and came over to me and said, "He's coughed up about 7 blood clots the size of quarters." WHAT! HELLO!!! What does that mean?!?!? Now.....I'm a certifiable HYSTERICAL MOM!
They wheeled him into a room. They did their poking and prodding, and hustling around, and finally the doctor came in and explained to me and my ex-husband that my son was going to be okay. A main artery had ruptured way up inside the back of his nose where it opens up into one big chamber. It's like when you slash your wrist and cut through the main artery, it gushes and pumps out at a furious speed. Logan had lost a lot of blood (he bled like that for almost an hour), but they were able to stop the bleeding and just needed to keep him there for awhile to make sure it didn't start bleeding again. They couldn't tell me what caused it, but everything was going to be okay.
I was able to take Logan home that night. He bled again through the night in his sleep, and in the morning the gushing occurred again (this time only for 30 minutes). We were able to get in to an ENT right away who cauterized the artery. He said this should not happen again. Whew!
I took the rest of the day off with my son. My phone calls were backed up....clients were getting angry....and I finally decided, THAT'S IT. I started telling them, "I'm sorry, I can't help you today, I'm spending the day with my family." In 10 years....I've never done that. Amazingly, everyone understood! Everyone offered to reschedule for next week. I've managed to clear my entire weekend, and not lose a single client!
Why didn't I do that sooner?
When you're a REALTOR®, and you love this business as much as I do, it has a way of taking over your life. While I don't ever want to go through that again, I do appreciate that it happened....if only to make me stop and realize.....you CAN take time off and spend it with your family....and the world will not come to an end.
RE/MAX Select Realty - REALTOR and Green Homes Specialist - Pittsburgh, PA
Helping you buy and sell Pittsburgh's Best Homes
I am glad your son is ok. All should remember that if you forget about those who are really important in your life you will eventually pay for it. Clients are just clients and if they don't understand then move on, you have more important people in your life.
Aug 01, 2010 02:39 AM
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate
Lina, first glad Logan is fine, what a scary time. I would have been upset at first, but on the second call from hubby would have left. Family comes first always. Now what I do when I am on a listiing appointment is tell the future clients, if one of my 5 children call, I will pick up the phone, but not for anyone else.
So I do.
They respect that as I am sure they would do it too.
Aug 01, 2010 02:52 AM
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA
Lina, glad to hear Logan is doing fine. You have to put the people who are important to you first. The world will not come to an end.
Aug 01, 2010 03:03 AM
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Solon, OH
Luxury Home Specialists
Wow, what a story. We are so glad your son is ok. It is so easy for not only agents but for any hard-working business person to get so caught up in work that they lose sight of the things that are most important. We make a point to tell all our clients that their time is extremely valuable but if a call comes in regarding one of our kids, that comes first, and most understand. I keep reading here on AR that there are no such thing as a real estate emergency and it rings so true. Thanks for sharing, Lina.
Aug 01, 2010 03:38 AM
AMAX Real Estate - Springfield, MO
REALTOR® Serving Springfield, Nixa and Ozark, MO
Wow...thanks so much everyone for the wonderful comments. I enjoyed a great dinner with my family last night, and woke up this morning to find that this went featured! Didn't see that one coming! :)
Now my next thought is....oh dear - it's going to take me ALL day to respond!!! LOL
Let me just say that I really appreciate everyone's comments....and appreciate your concern for Logan. He is doing really well. He's just upset that he can't play outside, swim or get "rowdy" for a week. Not sure what's harder....the actual event, or keeping an over-active 12-year-old still for a week.
I really enjoyed my day with the family yesterday, and have decided that it needs to happen more often. I love them dearly, and yesterday it was really evident that they love me too....and really miss me. There were many discussions between us that they are becoming a little resentful of the time I devote to my work and clients. They are not greedy, but would like more time with me.
I related to Robert Hertzog's story the most! I know exactly how you felt! As a matter of fact, I'm sure the client I was showing property to must have wondered what kind of mother I am when I didn't leave her immediately! Thanks so much for sharing that!
Thanks again, everyone! I will do my best to reciprocate to each of you....but it may take me a few days. Enjoy your Sunday!
Aug 01, 2010 03:39 AM
Ebby Halliday Real Estate, Inc. - Flower Mound, TX
Not Your Typical Agent!
Wow Lina,
What a horrible and wonderful story. I fortunately have not had anything like this happen to me, but I understand how the business can take a hold of your life and completely consume you especially when you need to sell and make a living for your family. These times with the housing market being what it is (or at least what the public thinks it is) leaves you sometime with no choice. I am impressed that you and your X can work together as so many of us cannot do and that your some was not home alone.
Aug 01, 2010 03:59 AM
Anonymous
Hi, Lina -- I'm so glad you took my call yesterday about your son, Logan. I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with you. I'm an agent out in Orange County, California, and it was an absolute pleasure to hear about your business and your success in Missour ... especially about your concepts around family, following your instincts, and the extra mile you go to just to make sure your cients are 100% raving fans! If I weren't an agent, I would do cartwheels to sign you up as my agent! Your clients are lucky to have you!
Aug 01, 2010 09:03 AM
#76
Re/Max Results Realty in Vancouver, BC - Coquitlam, BC
For Real Estate and Mortgages
Wow, what a story. I am glad your son is okay and feeling better. I had a similar type of thing happen about 12 years ago with my husband having to go to the hospital while I was at an open house for another realtor. I learned very quickly my family and my life is more important than a paycheck. Don't get me wrong my clients still feel important, but my family is more important. Enjoy your new found freedom and your family time.
Aug 01, 2010 09:42 AM
Central One Federal Credit Union - Shrewsbury, MA
Mortgage Loan Originator
Lina, I am so glad to hear that your son has recovered - what a frightening ordeal. You are right though, we should not have to wait for an emergency to spend time with our families. As you discovered, clients are human and usually very understanding of the other priorities in our lives.
Aug 01, 2010 10:04 AM
Keller Williams Coastal Partners - Palm Beach, FL
Real Estate Agent & Business Coach, (561) 254-8098
Lina - first and foremost, thank God your son is OK. Thanks for sharing with your Active Rain family.
Aug 01, 2010 11:06 AM
Howard Hanna Rand Realty - Yorktown Heights, NY
Associate Broker / Office Manager
This father of 4 is glad to hear that Logan is OK. If that doesn't put our frantic days into perspective, nothing will. Life is fragile. Give him a hug from New York.
Aug 01, 2010 11:24 AM
Select Properties of Fayetteville, LLC - Fayetteville, NC
Fayetteville, NC Real Estate
Lina, as you can see we're all very happy that Logan is doing well.
I too am guilty of neglecting family. It got so bad that once I was taking my son out for lunch just the two of us. I was on the phone while with him at lunch and just couldn't leave the phone alone. He asked me to put it away and said I wasn't really "with" him.
I felt really badly because I realized that I had thought I was doing something good by "taking time" to spend with him but actually I had not. I was just there in body but not mentally.
I picked up something from a fellow Keller Williams Realty agent that I thought was a wonderful tool to set the proper expectations from clients about reserving Sunday to spend with family. It is a flyer that simply states that we don't work Sundays because we want to spend the day with our family. If I include it at evry listing consultation and buyer consultation appointment, surprisingly the clients understand.
It's taken me a long time to learn that clients will respect my time and my family ONLY after I do.
Thanks for the post.
Aug 01, 2010 03:24 PM
RE/MAX Lifestyle Realty - Branson West, MO
Your StoneBridge Connection!
Oh, Lina,
Everything can change in our lives in a heartbeat and this was a scary wake-up call that you were kind enough to share with all of us. Thank the Lord that Logan is OK. How does that old saying go about... they won't put on our headstone's that we wish we'd spent more time at work but more time with friends & family? This gives us another chance to get it right!
Aug 02, 2010 02:14 AM
Coldwell Banker - Highland Park, IL
Coldwell Banker Highland Park IL
Lina
I can totally relate to your post...I love what I do too,,,but the one commitment I have made to myself is to make myself available for my family.... I know my family appreciates it and my clients respect it.
Aug 02, 2010 02:20 AM
Anonymous
Glad to hear your son is okay. I too am a workaholic and my dogs suffer for it. Like #15, I often tell folks I have an appt when I want to stay home. People really are sensitive to family needs (even if it's a 4-legged family) and will forgive your unavailabilty. Last Nov I had a listing appt. I got up & got ready even though one of my dog-kids at 15 y.o. was very near death. I was literally walking out the door, breifcase in hand and I notice she was in distress. I put my briefcase down and called my prospect and explained that I had to take my dog to be euthanized and I was sorry, but I wouldn't be able to keep our appt (that was in 30 minutes). I apologized for the short notice and asked if we could reschedule. He apologized to me and said he understood and of course we could reschedule. I met with him the following weekend and the first thing he asked was if I was doing okay. We had a good meeting and he decided not to list his home until values improved.
The point is, people respect you when you set boundaries. When I meet new prospects for the first time, I explain that I keep very generous office hours, but I go home to be with my family at 6:00 or 6:30. For the most part, they are very respectful of that and if they aren't, I probably don't want to work with them anyway.
Aug 02, 2010 07:48 AM
#84
Anonymous
Glad to hear your son is okay. I too am a workaholic and my dogs suffer for it. Like #15, I often tell folks I have an appt when I want to stay home. People really are sensitive to family needs (even if it's a 4-legged family) and will forgive your unavailabilty. Last Nov I had a listing appt. I got up & got ready even though one of my dog-kids at 15 y.o. was very near death. I was literally walking out the door, breifcase in hand and I notice she was in distress. I put my briefcase down and called my prospect and explained that I had to take my dog to be euthanized and I was sorry, but I wouldn't be able to keep our appt (that was in 30 minutes). I apologized for the short notice and asked if we could reschedule. He apologized to me and said he understood and of course we could reschedule. I met with him the following weekend and the first thing he asked was if I was doing okay. We had a good meeting and he decided not to list his home until values improved.
The point is, people respect you when you set boundaries. When I meet new prospects for the first time, I explain that I keep very generous office hours, but I go home to be with my family at 6:00 or 6:30. For the most part, they are very respectful of that and if they aren't, I probably don't want to work with them anyway.
Aug 02, 2010 07:50 AM
#85
RE/MAX Broker, RE/MAX - Springfield, MO
Realtor®, Springfield Mo Real Estate
As a workaholic and YOUR MOTHER, Logan is a blessing to all of us. We all need to spend more time with him. I too had a great time over the weekend. Nice Post!
Aug 02, 2010 11:37 AM
Dilbeck Real Estate - Burbank, CA
Lina - Not having children I can only imagine what was going through your head as you were rushing to the ER. I am amazed at this story and I have never heard of this before.
Aug 02, 2010 03:02 PM
Murney Associates - Springfield, MO
What a Post! I was sooo not expecting to read what happend to Logan when I first saw his happy beaming little face in the pool!! So happy he is doing well, and hopefully back to mischief as usual!
Aug 02, 2010 04:08 PM
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