Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

My tire was thumping. 
I thought it was flat 

When I looked at the tire... 

I noticed your cat. 

Sorry!

 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Heard your wife left you, 
How upset you must be. 

But don't fret about it... 

She moved in with me. 
 

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Looking back over the years 

that we've been together, 

I can't help but wonder... 

'What the hell was I thinking?' 
 
 

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Congratulations on your wedding day! 

Too bad no one likes your husband.. 
 
 

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How could two people as beautiful as you 

Have such an ugly baby? 
 
 

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I've always wanted to have 
someone to hold, 

someone to love. 

After having met you .. 

I've changed my mind.
 
 

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. 

I never believed in Hell until I met you. 

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... 

That you're not here to ruin it for me. 
 
 

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Congratulations on your promotion. 
Before you go... 

Would you like to take this knife out of my back? 

You'll probably need it again.
 
 

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! 

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
 
 

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age. 

Almost Lifelike! 
 
 

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When we were together, 
you always said you'd die for me. 

Now that we've broken up, 

I think it's time you kept your promise.
 
 

  ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  
We have been friends for a very long time . 

let's say we stop?
 
 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  
I'm so miserable without you 

it's almost like you're here.
 
 

=====================================================
  
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. 

Did you ever find out who the father was? 
 
 

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Your friends and I wanted to do 

something special for your birthday. 

So we're having you put to sleep.
 

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 So your daughter's a hooker, 
and it spoiled your day. 

Look at the bright side, 

it's really good pay