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Imagine you are buying a car. You sit in the driver's seat, smell that indelible new car smell, and the sales associate dangles the keys in front of you as you prepare for a test drive. Then, just before you put the key in the ignition, the salesperson begins a 5 minute soliloquy on the glove compartment. After enduring that little, strange episode, you start the car and roll 5 feet, just as you begin to pull out of the spot, the salesperson asks you to stop. Popping open the trunk, he then begins a tutorial of the rear storage as the car idles and you tap your feet awkwardly. You just want to get this thing on the road and see if it's for you. 
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54 Comments on The Story of the Closet
I usually give them something to read over while I tour the home on my own. Then if I have any questions we go back over it or I just get answers while snapping pictures. So I try to get it out of the way or incorporate the tour into something else. They usually don't want to be in the pictures so that keep them moving.
I guess that wasn't exactly a Zen moment for you. Poor guy he might have just needed someone to talk to that day. They have no idea how much in a hurry we are! LOL
Your writing is hilarious! I agree with the sentiments 100%, and got some great laughs out of reading it. Thanks for helping to make my day.
LOL! My A-D-D would have been out of control. Congrats for keeping yours in check! :)
Ah the obligatory Seller pre-listing tour. The polite nods, the feigned interest! LOL. Luckily they aren't all bad.
LOL ! I have had the same frustration many-a-time when sellers insist on showing their homes !!!
I tell my sellers never to give the tour :o)
Philip, I just couls *see* and *hear* you walking through that house - or trying to :) - and listening to explanations... Great post.
BTW, back to car salesman analogy: when buying a car, at least we can drive it for a bit, feel the steering wheel, push buttons, adjust mirrors, open the trunk if we want to. We can try it on. Even sometimes compare "city driving" with of "highway". But with houses - we can't really do that, so all the explanations come in. What if we as buyers could live 2 days in a house to "try it on"... Of course that will only make things much more complicated, legal issues alone would be killing the deal, but just imagine for a moment... That would interesting
Ha ha - well written post that both made me laugh and cringe as I have been there before. I think the sellers believe that if they imbue every part of the house with some magical personal history that it will somehow make potential buyers more interested.
OK, I'm going to go contrarian on this one - you stated you were the prospective listing agent on this house and the seller, who probably has a massive emotional investment in the house, was giving you some details on his "baby". Maybe he's lived in that house for years and had visions for how this room or that room might be, he's changed this or that because of this reason or that reason. I mean maybe he was married in that house or his kids were raised in that house or whatever, I don't know. I don't want to get too sentimental since I don't know the details of this guy and you didn't provide it but suffice to say the guy has SOME emotional attachment to the house (I've seen very few sellers that didn't feel SOME attachment to the house they're selling) and wanted to share some of it with you and you pretty much just trampled on him publicly.
Classy.
Consumer above nailed it - you just went on a public forum and trashed your client who was simply trying to explain to you some of his history with the house. Might want to rethink that one.
I, too, agree with the premise of sellers evacuating the house at times of showing as if it were the Hindenburg, but I can't help but be bothered like the commenter above that this post was regarding a potential listing. In addition to the emotional investment the owner might have in the property, does it not behoove the agent to absorb the tour and stories in painstaking detail for potential disclosure and marketing purposes?
I too share the same frustration with you! Thank you for sharing!
Oh, no! The seller who insists on being present to show the home in its best light.
Another great example, Phil. Many homeowners are just too close to the sale to be able to sell a home on their own. They hold all their projects much too dearly.
Stan, I truly believe they can't be "sold." I bought my house. No convincing.
Teral- I do. :)
Debbie- That's my role.
Billi- No horse and pony show ever worked.
Geri- those are brilliant thoughts.
Tricia, there can be a condescending aspect to it but I think they just don't know how to do it.
Tammy- part of our job is educating the client.
Ted- great minds think alike.
Pamela- we call it buying it back. You sold it, don't buy it back.
Scott- Even I don't want the blow by blow.
Kathryn- use it in good health.
Susan, the point of the post is to make sure they don't.
Craig- we've all been there, right?
Mike- how about "loose lips sink ships?"
Jenna- behave!
Cara- my point exactly.
Debbie- information overload is bad in any industry. '
Liz/Bill- exactly, let us get a feel for the place.
Eileen- you got the hint, didn't you.
Barb- Pat knows it very well .
Lee Ann- I indulged myself.
Deborah- Yes, the privacy of one's own home. Hence the need to allow them to walk through a prospective home in some sort of privacy.
Alan- thanks very much.
Yvette- thanks, I appreciate that.
Maya- we call that buying it back.
Darrell- overkill. Exactly.
Juli- divorcing oneself from the "business " of something so personal as their home is not easy for some.
Consumer- Yup.
Jason- what listing agents do on showings is a whole separate post. I noticed that too.
Don, some people actually can't leave the house. They may not drive, and I have one client who is wheelchair bound. It's the mouth we have to coach. Great thought.
Roseanne- true, but if I engaged them in conversation about everything I'd be there until midnight. I say moderation in all things. We are talking about 5 minutes in an 8x10 room.
Kathy- that is part of the point. I know a kitchen. I know a skylight. I know a skylight makes a dark room brighter. I know shelves. I know hanging rods. I know you can't hang on shelves but they have other uses. It's like that.
Lisa- Your professor was absolutely right.
Barbara- buyers tend to resent that in my experience. Better to stay out of the way.
John, that is actually a great idea.
Lizette- No, not a Zen moment. An exercise in patience.
Sonsie- thanks for that.
Marney- I actually tell people this. Some get it.
Michael- that strikes me as a bit extreme, but I get your point.
Paula- Funny, you. Most are fine. The pathological explainers need to be educated though.
Sheldon- seriously, most sellers are lousy salespeople.
Anna- I think there was a TV show where they did that.
Mike- exactly. Building value does not come from the historical abstract of why you put contact paper on the shelves in 1982.
Eric. Is it better to be phony? Nobody got trashed. Those things could all be true- as all homes have so many personal events occur. What's more personal to us than our bodies? Do we explain every scar and blemish to the doctor? I think not. The point here is that people need to be educated on what is important and what isn't. A potential 10 minute speech in each room, then tapping one's feet until I physically walk over, open the closet, look in and then nod Yes, I have now seen the interior of the closet does not help anyone.
Paul- Ideally I would attentively and compassionately absorb everything, erring on the side of patience, fortitude, and my potential fiduciary need for the information being imparted. I would not steer the conversation at all, and allow the guy to spend 10 minutes on each room instead of the 5. Then I would go home and kick my dog.
Jose- yes. The point is that it is not wise to frustrate those with whom you will potentially do business.
Christine-Yes. In their mind.
Kathryn- exactly, they cannot be objective.
Fair enough, Phil. lol
Its the case of less is more, in sales its what you don't say thats important...
HAH! "Granular Specificity!" Superb!
Bottom line for Homeowners: Let a Professional Realtor sell your home.
Bottom line for Realtors: Keep going after those FSBO's no matter how many times they say, "NO!" Sales is a numbers game.
I caught this with Michelle's re-blog. ROTFL but all too true!
Jim - I too caught this on Michelles's reblog. I did note that you indicated that you were ADD - obviously the owner was not. So what is important to you is basically "bottom line." To the seller, the emotional content has importance. Since I relate more to you than the long tour - I'd hope that part of your education with the seller would be that HE NOT BE THERE when the home is being shown. Around here, most of our inventory now is short sale. If this was a short sale seller - the possibility of success is very limited ... until he become emotionally disconnected. Fine observations; I'm sorry I didn't see it on the first go round.
Very, good post and so true, owners are lousy at selling their homes. I have even seen that when the owner is an agent or broker. They seem forget the basics when it is their own home