Congratulation's on your new home
A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home".
Cut Workload
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them. |
My Commission
"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
Competition
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
Sell Shoes
Two real estate agents decided to start a new career to sell shoe.
The two real estate agents goes to Africa to open up new markets.
Three days after arriving, one real estate agent said, "I’m returning on the next flight.
Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other real estate agent sent an email to the factory,
telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
Septic tank inspection
An agent in my office attended a septic tank cleaning on behalf of her buyer along with the
listing agent & the husband-seller. When the service man lifted the lid of the septic tank, he beckoned to everyone gathered nearby to come look. "See all those white floating things," he said, "condoms can ruin a septic system."
The husband-seller blanched, then blurted out, "I had a vasectomy before I moved in here."
"Oh," said the service man, "well boys will be boys."
"My children are grown"
muttered the seller-husband.
Just at that moment, the wife-seller's car turned into the driveway.
Both agents were in their cars and ready to exit even before the seller-wife got out of her car.
Here are some laughs for everyone. I hope all had a great weekend.
Truly,
Chris Gempeler
Mountain Top Realtor
http://www.MountainTopRealtor.com
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