My Mother-In-Law was recently diagnosed with the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. Either that, they say, or she suffered a mild stroke. We had noticed that she was becoming quite forgetful, but we didn't realize how forgetful she had become until she forgot the need to pay bills. First her phone was disconnected, then her cable was shut off.
We didn't know this was happening until we tried to call and listened unbelievably to AT&T's message. The phone number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. And it wasn't like we could just hop in a car to go fix things. We live 180 miles apart and all paths to her home near Yosemite National Park are windy two lane roads.
Last weekend we had her sign a durable power of attorney and an advanced health care directive. We grabbed all of her bills and paid them. I set up a gmail account for her so that I could create usernames and passwords to access her utility accounts online to keep them current.
Now we are searching for affordable housing so we can move her closer to us. We learned about senior housing in our area that only charges 30% of the tenants income.
The waiting lists for low income apartments are 1 to 2 years long. In the meantime, this means frequent trips to her apartment which is a 3 1/2 hour drive each way. It's hard to watch this tiny Italian white haired lady become so dependent on us, someone who survived WWII by fleeing Italy and escaping to Africa where she met her American military husband.
They say that babies don't come with a manual. Neither do parents. Yet there comes the time where you become the parent and the parent becomes the child. And all you can hope for is that you are doing the right thing.
© 2010 - Cynthia Larsen - When you become the parent and your parent becomes the child
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