I'm In Love With Myself & You Should Be Too

I am the best thing that ever happened to you since sliced bread.

I am the only one who can change your financial outcome.

I am the only one who can help you in your time of need.

I am too sexy for Air force One.

If you don't love me you are racist.

I am everything you never knew you always wanted.

I will help you as long as you turn over everything you have ever worked for to me.

I had ACORN (RIP) but I still have the ACLU.

Tell me your dreams honey, I'll make the "rich" folks pay for them.