I am the best thing that ever happened to you since sliced bread.
I am the only one who can change your financial outcome.
I am the only one who can help you in your time of need.
I am too sexy for Air force One.
If you don't love me you are racist.
I am everything you never knew you always wanted.
I will help you as long as you turn over everything you have ever worked for to me.
I had ACORN (RIP) but I still have the ACLU.
Tell me your dreams honey, I'll make the "rich" folks pay for them.
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