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Remember that.  It's like, "Lefty loosey, righty tighty."  Universal.  It works every time.  Well, maybe not EVERY time.

I got a call from a frantic Realtor.  We had an inspection about 2 months ago.  She asked if I could call the clients who could not seem to get the gas range to work.  "It worked during the home inspection and again the other day during our walk through.  Now it does not work.  Could you PLEEEZE call the clients?"  They had apparently been screaming at her for its failure.

She was on a meat hook in the freezer.  "Sure, of course I'll call."

No answer.  I got the machine.  My message gave them all the things to check, but especially to make SURE they had turned on the gas to the house.  I mentioned that if often gets turned off when the seller no longer has the responsibility to keep it on.  Like after settlement.  He never got back to me.

In the meantime, two weeks, he had ripped the agent some more, both brokers, the settlement company and me, though not to MY face.  They were so frazzled the settlement company actually gave them a rebate of over $200 to buy a new range!  But finally tonight I got a call from him!

With his wife obviously talking to him in the background, he began pleasantly enough, but as I tried to walk him through various things to check solutions to I noticed he is not a good listener.  I had to repeat everything.

One thing on my list was to check the hot water heater - was it gas or electric.  "Yes, I see an electric cable going into it," he says.  "So it is an electric water heater."

Finally, exhausting my checklist, I asked him to go to the back yard and check the gas meter. 

"Do you see the pipe going into it?"

"Yes."

"There is a valve on it.  Is the valve parallel to the pipe or perpendicular?"

"It's perpendicular, with a lock through it."

"The gas company put that lock on it.  Perpendicular is the OFF position.  Parallel is on.  Perpendicular is off.  They will remove that lock when you call them and set up an account.  This is something I said on my first message weeks ago, as has the Realtor, many times.  To date you have not called them.  So there is no gas to the house.  That's why the range doesn't work."

"But we called Dominion Electric!  We already have an account!"

"Um, Dominion is an ELECTRIC company."

He apologized and we hung up on good terms.  Thirty seconds later my phone rings.

"WE THINK YOU'RE WRONG!!  WE HAVE HOT WATER!!"

"Cerebellum (not his real name), remember how we established that you have ELECTRIC hot water?"  Like I said, he doesn't listen very well.

My recommendation:   If gas appliances don't work, check the meter!  Look at the valve position.  And remember the little trick - parallel is on, perpendicular is off.  That may save you a lot of aggravation in the long run!  And LISTEN to your home inspector!  He's probably a really good guy...

 

 

 

 

 

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia

www.jaymarinspect.com


 
This post has been included in Virginia Real Estate News Prince William County, VA Real Estate News Bristow, VA Real Estate News
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59 Comments on Parallel Is On. Perpendicular is off.

SEP
08
2010
381,650 Points 6 Featured Posts Hit Router Called Shot Master

Now that's funny LMAO :-)

7:50pm • #1
180,889 Points 6 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I love it!!!  Kudos to you for keeping your cool and being the adult in the situation.  I'm betting that you have lots of business.  Thanks for being the professional!

7:54pm • #2
295,311 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Boss said it best in Cool Hand Luke:

"What we've got here is...failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach."

7:58pm • #4
214,759 Points 2 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Called Shot Master

Jay to the RESCUE, How funny... Bet the agent didn't think so. Been there, done that.  : )

8:04pm • #5
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

James - this call happened not too long ago tonight!  I don't think it was funny to everyone connected with this guy, but I am glad I wasn't asked to go to the house to figure it out!  What can you say!?

Melissa - yes, I am really busy!  Fortunately.  I am a Scoutmaster, so a Scout is courteous, kind and cheerful.

Pat and Wayne - this was a tough nut to crack!  Communication is a TWO way street!

8:05pm • #6
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Diane - she was pretty flustered!  So was this client.  And I could hear the wife in the background the whole time!

8:06pm • #7
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Thank you Patricia!  It's funny now to me too!  I think that Realtor is still a little frazzled.

8:18pm • #10
603,836 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

This is really funny (but sad at the same time).  I do think people need better listening skills.  Good story.

8:21pm • #11
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Well, Debbie, he was a hard case!  This call happened tonight about 630 or so.  I thought it was good blog fodder.  And I didn't bang my head on the floor...  but almost!

8:29pm • #12
1,400,535 Points 109 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jay,

I am continually amazed at people that need to listen and don't.. People that ask for help and then do not listen to what is being said to them.. 

that is a very frustrating person to encounter.

You did very well!

8:52pm • #13
167,244 Points 3 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

I remember it by thinking of it as the flow of traffic. If the switch is going with the flow, it's on. If it is blocking the flow, it's off. 

8:53pm • #14
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

And apparently, Judi, this has been going on for a couple of weeks!  They are very difficult to reach and when they call you back it has to be done NOW!

Julia - that is a great way to remember it!  Maybe I am too mathematical!

9:00pm • #15
749,845 Points 99 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jay, I think you need to let them talk to Croakster next time

9:14pm • #16
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Charlie, he would only ask them if they had any fresh insectalia.  Or a pond nearby.  Gas valves I don't think he would know much about, but they wouldn't listen anyway!

9:20pm • #17
865,593 Points 50 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp

Hellllooo?  McFly?  That is funny.  Ok, looking back, it would be funny.  At the time it would be infuriating. 

9:24pm • #18
381,835 Points 19 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Jay, I know you probably could not make this stuff up if you tried...well maybe you could and that would be o.k. because it sure is fun to read!

9:26pm • #19
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Lane - it is infuriating to have to repeat things twice!  And to find out that he never did what I suggested a couple of weeks ago.

Barb - I'm not that good!  And sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

9:30pm • #20
421,594 Points 76 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Jay - You're obviously much more patient than I am.  I'd have reached through the phone and  . . .

Oh well,  some people just don't get it.

9:37pm • #21
184,473 Points Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jay.  What a great story!  The bad part about it is that he walks among us.  Be very afraid because there are more than one of "him".....  They are everywhere!  It's good that you did eventually get through the granite and make him understand.  But there's another just like him around the next corner. 

9:53pm • #22
277,620 Points 8 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

You have more patience than I do!  I am glad you wrote the blog so I can show some of my clients.

10:02pm • #23
113,631 Points Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I am rolling on the floor about the hot water as proof you were wrong!!!  Jay, you are a better man than I... I might have gotten a little short with him.

10:07pm • #24
547,312 Points 15 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Funny blog and I enjoyed reading it.  I'll bet that man feels like a total idiot now and he's going to try to find someone to blame for that too!

10:19pm • #25
613,516 Points 139 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

PLEAASEEEE Tell me this guy doesn't have a driver's license!!!

10:23pm • #26
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John - would that I could reach through the phone!  But no, I need to be patient with clients.

Jeanne and Ralph - walking among us and apparently voting too.  Well, they got more than $200 out of the settlement company!

Damon - and I'm glad you can show some of your clients!

AJ - well, that was the sticker!  That call kind of certified him...

10:25pm • #27
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Barbara - I'm glad I can share it, although it was not too fun at that moment!  I'm betting the gas company is at fault.

Liz and Bill - I think he has that and a voting card.  Unfortunately...

10:26pm • #28
848,742 Points 153 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

parallel is on, perpendicular is off.

I will do my best to remember this, sounds like the buyers need hearing aids too.

10:47pm • #30
116,676 Points Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp

I love ending the day with a laugh !  You should be in Tech Support - !  Thanks for the reminder of parrallel on - perpedicular off - will come in handy I'm sure - I'm always using righty tighty as I try to determine if the gas is off on the gas grill!

10:49pm • #31
120,856 Points 3 Featured Posts

Jay, thanks for the story!

You are one patient person, not just a knowledgeable inspector. Great you could solve the mystery of stubborn gas not wanting to show up.

11:12pm • #32
Called Shot Master

Very timely post for me...I was really upset at my gas grill for not turning on earlier this evening...seems I didn't have the propane tank turned to the open position (only took me 5 minutes to figure that out.)  But at least I didn't call my home inspector to complain.

11:15pm • #33
405,925 Points 49 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Oh man, this is really funny. I'm sorry that you and the agents involved had to endure so much grief but you know what they say, you can't fix stupid. Thanks for the laugh!

11:22pm • #34
SEP
09
2010
1 Featured Post Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Too funny - I guess sometimes a move-in just gets the better of folks.  I think this guy needed to stop, think, and ask for help before he blamed everyone for his "problems."  Though I think most of my clients are far better than this, everyone could utilize this lesson once in a while. 

1:16am • #36
392,071 Points 4 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Inspectors posts are my favorite. They're always the most funny, or scary, or enlightening that I'll read in a week's time. This one, is hilarious.

1:57am • #37
Funny Jay, and scary at the same time. Curious what the client does for a living, brain surgeon?
3:29am • #38
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Thanks Debbie.  I am sure it is - couldn't resist the leettle head mention!

Missy - it appears these two are used to bashing their way through life.  I didn't bite that hook.

Precisely Marcia, those are the kinds of places that little ditty will work.  I have walked many a phone call through the solution to a problem!

5:57am • #39
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Anna - I started a couple of weeks ago with the most obvious thing, and they had claimed to everyone that the gas had been turned on.  And, apparently, I learned, by the ELECTRIC company!  Um, not...

Rob - you can call me any time!  You know how on computer trouble shooting the first thing they say is to make sure it is plugged in, or connected to the internet?

Cynthia - this one was not easy for anyone.  We had to walk quite the obstacle course.

6:00am • #40
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Serena Group - that is an unfortunate statement, isn't it!?

Jason - first time homeowner, and his problems are everyone's problems.

Joetta - I am very glad you enjoyed it!  It was hopefully instructive as well.

Christopher - that would be interesting to know.  Hopefully NOT for some local government agency.

6:04am • #41
237,682 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Hey Jay, it really helps when a home inspector takes the time to call and help out. Hopefully this was a great lesson for the new homeowner to go a little deeper with his questions and choose his words carefully the next go around. I just had this same thing happen on a Short Sale. I was so perplexed as to why the new owner did not have gas even though service was set up. Turns out. it was perpendicular!

 

7:00am • #42
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

There you go Peggy!  Another principle proved fruitfully correct!

7:01am • #43
431,090 Points 72 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

This guy must have been great fun during the inspection.

8:01am • #44
Attended Rain Camp

"We have hot water"

This guy is one tool short of a tool box. Sadly, we all know at least one person who could fit this guys persona.  Sounds like an engineer, they have their brains wired differently (at least many of those out here in the aerospace (as in outerspace) industry).

8:51am • #45
1,034,016 Points 46 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jay  Over the past 34 years I have had my share of "brilliant" clients, but this one certainly would top my list

10:01am • #46
1 Featured Post Called Shot Master

Wow - kudos for dealing with this guy with a level head.  That whole 'listening thing' is really not as overrated as some people seem to believe!

11:40am • #47
115,031 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Jay - You made my day, I am still laughing. I think I had him as a client, just based on 'he does listen very well'.

12:17pm • #48

Wow! With brains like that I'm supprised he got through the loan process! What a headache! Great post made me laugh!

1:43pm • #49

I actually took a photo of the water shutoff and sent it to my favorite home inspector once; he responded with the parallel on, perpendicular off rule -- very useful and seems obvious unless you don't know it!

3:47pm • #50
1,063,932 Points 156 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jay, I love this reminder, thinking parallel flows and perpendicular blocks. Unfortunately a lot of people with ZERO geometry skills don't know what the word perpendicular means.

4:13pm • #51

Thanks for sharing the story, Jay. You really should write a book someday.

5:17pm • #52
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jim - I honestly don't remember, but I am willing to bet he didn't get much out of it.

Kathy - not sure I would go there!  But he seems very difficult to deal with, to say the least.

Karen - he certainly turned out to be a piece of work.  I have an inspection with that same agent tomorrow, and I think I know what she'll be talking about!

Dee - listening is a skill.  It has to be developed.  That is one of the purposes of education!

5:59pm • #53
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Brent and Deb - well, I have had others similar!  You probably have had them too!

Oxford Capital - I am very glad you enjoyed it!  I never spoke with the loan officer.  But they could have similar stories, who knows?

Jan - it is one of those universals we should all know about.

Gary - public education?  I don't have another good synonym!

Jeffrey - Thank you again for your kind words!  Any book would be a best seller among home inspectors!

6:01pm • #54
865,593 Points 50 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp

Come on, Jay...  You know that in a year, when you pop the top on a cold adult beverage, this is going to be a funny story... 

8:53pm • #55
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

It's funny now Lane!  The Realtor is still a bit frazzled though.  I have an inspection with her tomorrow!

9:35pm • #56
173,547 Points 50 Featured Posts

I think you're wrong, Jay.  Cerebellum just doesn't listen, period.

10:00pm • #57
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Reuben - let them who have ears to hear, hear!  The rest can eat cake.

How's that for mixing historical perspective!?

10:43pm • #58
SEP
12
2010
882,920 Points 34 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

So it sounds like you have one of my old clients calling you!!!! This made me laugh!!! Thanks!!!! I think we have all been there and it is indeed frustrating!!!

11:27am • #59
613,658 Points 164 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Thanks Barbara-Jo.  I can't imagine that this is an unusual circumstance for anyone on this site!

And thank you very much for the signature tip!!  I added one and it projected itself onto all my blogs.  I guess that means it will also appear each time I am reblogged. 

4:11pm • #60

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Jay Markanich - Northern VA Home Inspector

Bristow, VA

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Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

Address: 12315 Sherborne Street, Bristow, VA, 20136

Office Phone: (703) 330-6388

Cell Phone: (703) 585-7560

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An experienced home inspector's look at current home inspection events and conditions along with his useful recommendations.


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