Hello? Can You Hear Me? Unstoppable Woman? - Day 15
Being in the "people" business, it stands to reason that honing people skills regularly keeps us in the game. Just like a knife that becomes dull with use, people skills can always use a good sharpening. After all, even a dull knife can cut, but it's often a messy cut. (And frequently I end up cutting myself with that same dull knife...)
Take, for instance, the people skill of "listening." I like to think I'm a good listener. Most of the time, I am. I hear well because I am HERE well. But, truth be told, that skill can stand some sharpening. I admit I'm guilty of answering emails while family members or office associates are talking to me. I'm guilty, too, of looking at my Blackberry every time it beeps and flashes and demands my attention, which it does every time I get an email or a notification. (Oooh! Someone else commented on one of my AR posts! Be right back.....) I've even been guilty of being inside my own head listening to THAT conversation instead of the one going on with me outside my noggin. Can you hear me?
Since being a good listener requires giving others undivided attention, it might be possible to spend all our time on listening to others and lose our ability to focus on our own needs. For instance, we might not want to listen because we might really need to answer those emails. We might not want to listen because maybe we had a bad day and need to decompress. (Or maybe we just want to get on AR and reply to those comments....)
I think that being a good listener is not just about HEARING but also involves being aware of our own needs and being able to express to someone that we might not be available for them at that particular moment. As good listeners we should make listening to our own needs a priority too. I know that when I am distracted but still trying to listen to someone I am really doing a disservice to both the person speaking to me AND myself. Both the other person's needs and my own needs deserve my undivided attention, and unfortunately we cannot multitask and effectively listen at the same time.
September is International People Skills Month so in honor of this, I'm going to practice better listening skills. When I'm listening, I'm going to be actively listening and in the moment with the speaker. And when I am unable to listen, I'm going to let the speaker know, so that when I am able to listen the speaker will have me, undivided.
So let me put down my Blackberry....(oh, wait...I just got another comment...Oooooh! I'm FEATURED!)....I'm sorry, what did you say?
I'm listening! Really.
The less you speak, the more you will hear.
Alexander Solshenitsen
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