QUESTION: I think about home when I'm at work, and I'm preoccupied with work when I'm home. What's your suggestion for getting focused?
ANSWER: It takes awareness, discipline of thought, and commitment to keeping your mind on the present moment to get out of this trap.
Become your own observer. Notice exactly what is happening when your mind wanders. Regardless of where you are, it may be a response to stress, to boredom, to being overwhelmed or to some issue that needs to be addressed. For a while, don't fight it; just take time to understand it. Also notice how often this really happens. Determine whether it is as frequent as it feels, or if it is relatively isolated.
Then remember times when you've been focused on what you're doing. What types of circumstances lead you to a state of contented immersion? Put these together into a comprehensive view of your current situation.
Next, consider your ideal state. Drawing from past experience, develop a vision for the state of being you'd like to have in your day-to-day life. Then consider the gaps that you notice.
Having assessed your current and desired states, try some techniques for staying focused. For example, when you realize that you're preoccupied with a work issue while at home, consciously close the subject and choose to think about something else. This will likely feel artificial at first, but if practiced, will become second nature. Try taking a deep breath to return to the present, closing your eyes for moment to transition, or develop a catch phrase you can repeat to yourself to get regrounded.
Mitigation strategies are important, but also look at root causes. If you have issues at either home or work that are causing internal pressure for you, address those separately. For example, if your mind is churning with issues related to your boss when home, or you're worrying about a family member during meetings, treat your preoccupation as a signal that you may have a situation you need to deal with.
Transitions between work and home are useful, as well. Consider listening to certain music while on the road, taking a walk or working out to clear your head, or taking some quiet time when you arrive at work or home to orient yourself.
Take a moment to change external behaviors that might be reinforcing your mind-wandering. Sharing updates with co-workers is fine, for example. But frequent and prolonged discussions of personal issues may not help you; it may keep you dwelling on topics in ways that you are identifying as problematic. At home, if you're checking e-mail or reliving your day out loud, bring your behavior into alignment with your thought goals.
Continue to observe yourself as you get a handle on this. Check in daily or weekly with how you're doing. Don't be hard on yourself if you are falling short, and don't give up. It takes time to change mental habits, especially if you're also changing external behavior.
To keep more focus on where you are and what you're doing, practice new mental habits. This will get you solidly on the right track.
By Liz Reyer
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