Wet Paint Sign in VancouverSometimes I'm wrong.

I can be very skeptical when it comes to a whole host of things, but since becoming a Realtor®, I've found that my skepticism has grown.  Don't take it the wrong way and think I pace about all day not believing anything, but in large part due to the fact that we agents are constantly bombarded with calls and emails telling us how to succeed, win, make more money, guarantee us more production...whatever the promise, few people deliver and we all know that.  So we turn inward to our own doubts and fears and shut out most of those who want to sell us something (kind of ironic, isn't it?).

I'll give it a go, but...

When I won a month's free coaching with Tom Ferry I was excited to a) have won and b) see what Tom was all about.  We had spoken before via Twitter, but I knew little about him and what he was all about in terms of coaching.

On our first call, Tom and I talked about expectations and I remember telling him I was skeptical about coaching.  I guess I had heard enough "rah rah rah" inspirational, self-motivational, "be the best you can be" sort of talk in my life somewhere and I just felt it wasn't quite for me.  I don't need someone to pump me up and tell me the obvious.  On that first call, Tom made me promise him to approach our time together with an open mind and an open book policy.  If I was going to get something out of it, I had to open up to Tom (I think he got more than he bargained for in that deal).

The end of a month.

Suffice it to say, I had a blast with Tom.  I actually enjoyed it...even some of the more painful, smack-in-the-face moments where we got down to business and didn't pull any punches.  At the end of my time, I was able to travel to Anaheim for his Success Summit and had a great time and learned more than I could possible explain in any blog post (you think they're long now?).

And then it happened.

After my time with Tom and my trip to California and meeting a ton of new faces and hearing a ton of new stories...well, somewhere in there (not sure when), I realized I wasn't the hardened skeptic I used to be.  Instead, I was open to listening to (in my case) Tom and trying out some new things.  Some were painful (if Tom's email ever gets hacked and released on the internet, the world will know more than my own mother probably), some were thrilling, some were hard, and some took a moment's thought.

Coaching isn't what I thought it would be.

I've now moved into a permanent coaching slot with one of the coaches from Tom's company.  My new coach, Chadi Bazzi, is a whirlwind.  When we speak on the phone, I feel like he gave me a two hour call in the space of thirty minutes.  He's one serious guy and after every call, I feel like I'm ready to take on the world.  But it's not just empty "you are the man" motivational calls - it's actual steps to take to improve my business and my life.  You should see the list of homework assignments I get from him (I never had this much homework in high school) - each one is not only designed to affect change in my life, but to push me to the edge of what I am capable of...until I step beyond even that.

Was I skeptical?  Oh yes.  Am I now?  Not so much.  By diving in and taking a chance (hey, I admit I got lucky and was able to take a free shot at this), I soon learned that although I'm right 99% of the time, that still leaves 1% to be wrong.  Perhaps had I won coaching with someone else I would have felt the same or quite possibly, just reaffirmed my own skepticism.  The only thing that matters is that I have found something that works for me.  Something that I look forward to.  Something that challenges me.  Something that causes changes in my way of thinking that often surprise me (did I just think that?).

While coaching may not be for everyone and Chadi or Tom might not be for you, perhaps there is someone out there that will bring the best out in you.  Maybe it will cost you a fortune, maybe it will be as cheap as a cup of coffee with someone who can pull it out of you.  I don't have that answer for you (although I will say that I'm a Tom Ferry fan now) and you'll have to find it, but perhaps it's time to take a look at some of your skeptical biases towards things and open up a little more.  Give something new a try.  Don't just throw money at solutions in a box.  Instead, investigate, learn, explore, and try and find someone who you can truly communicate with - no holds barred.  You'll be amazed at what you might discover.

PS Thanks to ActiveRain and Tom Ferry for giving me the opportunity to learn something new about myself that I never thought could happen.  Perhaps the word "never" was the problem - my own belief that I couldn't, led to a skeptical viewpoint that in this case, wasn't even close to being right.

photo courtesy of Qole Pejorian with special thanks to the Vancouver Board of Parks and Recreation for a sign this genius

All content ©2008-2010 by Matt Stigliano unless otherwise noted.

 Matt Stigliano, Realtor® Becker Properties | (210) 646-HOME | www.RErockstar.com

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28 Comments on Skeptical? Me too. But I'm not afraid to say I was wrong.

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

SEP
24
2010
306,520 Points 9 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Matt, my question would be the same as Lenn's.  I am sure that there are  many systems that work but I am particularly interested in systems that work quickly.

12:40pm • #9
8 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Matt ~ I've grown from being skeptical to looking at coaching as something I must at least give serious thought and open up to coaching. I watch all of Tom Ferry's videos online so I his approach is one that suits me. I should look further into this. Thanks!

3:25pm • #10
362,046 Points 5 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp

It all stems, in one way or another, from passion. I don't need anyone to motivate me, I'm passionate about what I want... but I do need advice. As passionate as you are, I can't help but opine that, given the right circumstances (vocation??), you won't be skeptical and you won't need a coach.

4:12pm • #11
868,446 Points 5 Featured Posts

Matt,

Very intyeresting. If you've ever been involved with children's sports, you can easily see the difference between the winning team and the losing team.

I'm glad you had two good caoches.

Brian

7:05pm • #12
188,061 Points 16 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Matt - I am so happy that you won the free month of coaching and as your office mate...I can attest to the change in your attitude! I are on fire and I LOVE it! I only see amazing things for you in the future and I am super excited to be there to see it happen! =)

7:23pm • #13
501,704 Points 25 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Glad to hear that the coaching is working out for you. I've been very skeptical of this, and I get calls here and there from salespeople trying to get me to sign up for coaching. I still think I need to put into place a lot of the things I already know, but just don't do yet, before I get to the coaching level.

7:53pm • #14
463,655 Points 1 Featured Post

There's nothing wrong is being wrong, or admitting that you are wrong. We are all human and make mistakes! Man up and move on.....

9:13pm • #15
1,417,252 Points 52 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

"It's actual steps to take to improve ..."  To me, that's the biggest benefit of coaching -- someone who knows you and understands your business well enough to develop a solid strategy AND hold you accountable for implementing it.

9:36pm • #16
201,461 Points

While coaching may not be for everyone and Chadi or Tom might not be for you, perhaps there is someone out there that will bring the best out in you. 

If you want to be at the top of your game, either in business or in sports, using a coach is one way to reach that goal.  I'm happy you found something that works for you.

11:13pm • #17
738,077 Points 231 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Matt... avery good message on many points.. and I am glad that is has help some and possibly have made things better... but yuk, more homework than in high school?  rut row.. lol  Hey, thanks for sharing. ps.. and like you, I am always skeptic of those rah rah people.. I have been in front of some of the best.  But tips in real estate, much better than rah rah speaches.

jeff belonger

 

11:29pm • #18
374,809 Points 7 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Called Shot Master

Good news Matt ~ you are not as skeptical as you once were, now will please change your profile picture? That skeptical look on your face has always had me worried a little about you!!

jk

11:48pm • #19
SEP
25
2010
433,565 Points 2 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Hit Router Called Shot Master

Matt - Congratulations on the personal progress you've made. I've been working with a coach lately as well and I must say, I wouldn't be the same without it!

12:23am • #20
1,047,834 Points 396 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Matt. Tom seems like a very likeable guy. And he is certainly a world class motivator. I hope you stick with it and I hope this gives your business the kick start you've been wanting.

9:16am • #21
857,664 Points 174 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I take coaching with a grain of salt only because I've been a coach and mentor myself.  To me, it's all about being open to the input and guidance the coach has to offer, at the time it's offered.  Timing is everything.

12:43pm • #22
355,766 Points 27 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Matt... Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I know what you mean when you talk about trying to put a giant experience into a few words. I think if we can be successful as human beings we'll be successful at what ever we do. I notice a difference in your delivery and tone of late, and I think it shows a growing more optimistic and evolving look at life. Again, thanks for the insights...

2:40pm • #23
1,122,795 Points 90 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Great job Matt. I think the AR group here is rooting for your success. Can you see this translate into numbers yet? Do you have something in the pipeline you might not have had without the coaching?

5:02pm • #24
SEP
28
2010
243,126 Points 22 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

It is great to hear that you found something that worked for you.  I think that we are all looking for an extra push that doesn't make us feel like we are reporting to a parent.  I have fond memories of my mother pushing me into things that I later really enjoyed doing.  But business is different.  What looks good on paper, does not necessarily translate into something that works for you.  Thank you for sharing your experience!

11:34am • #25
OCT
09
2010
173,493 Points 18 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Matt, will you please follow up in six months with a report on how the coaching directly affects your business? Coaching is hotly debated in my office, so I would really like to hear back from you, as I know I can always trust your input. Thank you!

4:33pm • #26
DEC
07
2010
555,452 Points 31 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Hi Matt,

Here it is 6 months later. Time for a follow up post that tells us what happened.

Did you stick with it?

Did it make a difference long term?

Did you start with a flourish and finish with a sizzle?

Pray tell...

Phil

1:10am • #27
JUL
27
hi there gary i shouldnt give it out but this is the web address and some info , there there most competitive in the game , mention martin netsims recommened you
martinnitsim
3:33am • #28

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