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Jay's Fabulous Fall Home Maintenance List - On Bizarro World

Reblogger
Real Estate Agent with HER Realtors

 

I really, really looked for a furnace post to Re-Blog on Friday. Why? ...because it was Furnace Friday on Discover Columbus OH an ActiveRain blog for Columbus Ohio.  I could not find a great furnace post and then I ran out to dinner at Polaris and never gave it another thought.. until about 5:00 this morning.

This backward maintenance post is not all furnace  but Jay says:

"Furnace - never, ever oil anything." 

Good enuff for a belated Furnace Friday on a chilly Saturday morning? Jay's also got a maintenance issue on the lists for "boilers" not a lot of those in Central Ohio residential properties but that's furnacey.  I do not remember Bizarro World or much at all about Superman comics. Remember home inspector Jay is on Htrae (Earth backwards ) Bizarro World where it is spring as you read these. 

Isn't it spring in Australia, New Zealand, Brazil too? Bizarro...

 

Original content by Jay Markanich 3380-000723

It's fall here on earth and time to get the house ready for winter.  For some of us the house needs to be ready for cold, and for others maybe only for cool-er or wetter ...

Fortunately for us, it is spring on Bizarro World.  You remember Bizarro World?  From the Superman comics?  On Bizarro World, the cubed planet Htrae (Earth backwards), everything is opposite or backwards of what it would be on earth.  The people are grossly ugly, they try to break things, lose money in investments, wash with dry dirt - well you get it.  And everything they do is considered the right thing to do.

Since it is spring, Bizarro Worlders are trying disrepair their houses in time for the cold weather.  I publish their list, perhaps for the first time in history:

  • CO Monitor - break the test button so it can never be pushed.
  • Pests - why bother?  Let them run free.
  • Moss on the roof - perfect!  Leave it alone.
  • Gutters and downspouts - keep them clogged!
  • Boilers - an unsafe safety-relief valve not tested is the best relief valve.
  • Furnace - never, ever oil anything.
  • What's an HVAC filter?  Don't even check for one.
  • Caulk nothing, leave gaps, don't eliminate mold or muck.
  • Smoke detector - why have them anyway?  But break that button too.
  • TPR valves - testing is always a bad thing.
  • Hose bib - leave on full power at the indoor valve so it freezes.
  • Water heater - it is illegal to hook up a hose and drain a little out.
  • Toilet - hopefully it rocks on the floor so badly it can't be tightened.
  • Septic system - it should be years and years of never pumping it out.
  • Private water system - never add pressure to the blue tank.
  • Smoke detector battery - remove now!  Don't replace!
  • Foundation - slope toward the house and don't extend downspouts.
  • Wood-burning chimneys - let the creosote build.  And build.
  • Kitchen inspection - grease should get thick on everything.
  • Refrigerator - sweep dirt under it and never vacuum the coils.
  • Garage door - should it work at all?  Never oil anything.
  • Disposal - bones clean it really well.  Baking soda and vinegar don't.
  • Fire extinguisher - don't bother checking the pressure dial!
  • GFI's - those buttons should be stuck and don't do anything anyway.

Well, what do you think of the list?  Enjoy!

Hopefully it helps.  Read it carefully! 

Keep it in your pocket and pull it out as you walk around the house.

It should come in handy.

And, as to lists, we all use them and we all need them.

 

And remember, old Realtors and home inspectors never die.

The just grow listless...

 

 

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia

www.jaymarinspect.com

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Contact Maureen McCabe of HER Realtors* - 614.388.8249

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Information is deemed to be accurate but should be verified to your satisfaction.  Information provided herein is supplied by several sources and is subject to change without notice.  Opinions expressed are solely those of Maureen McCabe.

 


 

Comments (4)

Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Thanks for the reblog Maureen, again.  Don't remember Bizarro World?  I loved Superman comics!

Gee, it's not chilly here!

Sep 25, 2010 12:44 AM
Maureen McCabe
HER Realtors - Columbus, OH
Columbus Ohio Real Estate

I was never into comic books and then more into things like Archie comics... I was a girl! In the newspaper I liked Apartment 3G, Mary Worth...  girly stuff.   Superman was not in our "funny paper."  I think Superman may have been in the Chicago Tribune but I did not see that as much.

We had a front come through yesterday evening. High today in the 60s?  Yesterday we were in the 90s.

I missed:  "What's an HVAC filter?  Don't even check for one"

Thanks for allowing the Re-Blog...

 

Sep 25, 2010 01:10 AM
Jack Gilleland
Home Inspection and Investor Services, Clayton - Clayton, OH

As usual, I had to laugh at Jays blog.

Sep 26, 2010 09:00 AM
Maureen McCabe
HER Realtors - Columbus, OH
Columbus Ohio Real Estate

me too...

Sep 26, 2010 11:12 AM