Buying and selling a home is high on the stress level – almost like changing or loosing a job, divorce and other life's troubles. The difference is that in other aspects of life, emotions can help to energize and lead to a better outcome. It’s rarely the case in real estate. How can we put the emotional energy to work for us and not against us?

During home showings
Sellers often look for feedback from agents who showed the house. If the comments are positive and the house does not sell right away, sellers get angry and confused as to why. They may think the agent is not doing their job. It could be that showing agents did not want to offend the seller.  If the comments are negative – the seller may take it personally and not want to adjust the price or maintenance issues that are suggested.
In both cases emotions are counter productive. A seller needs to look at the issues: is the price right, is the house staged properly, is the targeting on point, is the maintenance issues addressed, etc.? The energy put into these tasks will have a much better pay off.

During contract negotiations
Some of the sellers emotions are “ My home is worth much more; I don’t have to sell to THEM”. The buyers think “We are offering a great deal; we are qualified buyers; there are many other houses out there for us”. It is difficult to come to terms when the emotions take over. Instead, analyze the facts of the deal through objective data: prices of homes sold, your time frame, other costs involved if the transaction does not work out. Looking at facts allows for compromise, where emotions don’t.

After House Inspection
This is were I see too many deals fall apart. Emotions at this stage could be even harder to control, since it’s father along in the process and the stakes are higher. To put aside the emotions, buyers and sellers have to look at the issues and the contractual provisions. These are usually factual and could lead to resolutions, while emotions stand in the way.

Communications
It is always helps to keep the communication channels open, even in the face of adversarial relations. A good agent is invaluable in this regard and can do a lot to help focus on issues, deflect the emotions and get to a successful close.