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The Fine Art of Negotiating with Quotes from Humorist Dave Barry

By
Real Estate Agent with The Stark Company Realtors, Madison WI 53123-94

Pulitzer Prize Winning Humorist, Dave Barry, on Negotiating (and hiring a Realtor). This is for Karin Lundeen, and Rebecca Harris who asked, when they each ReBlogged my post from "Silly Sunday" if Dave had anything on this topic. 

I strongly advise you to use a broker, for the same reason that I'd advise you to pay somebody else to repair your automobile transmission, namely: No matter how incompetent or overpaid this person is, he or she can't possibly screw things as badly as you would if you did it yourself.

A fine example of the kind of negotiating approach you should take can be found in the excellent corporate training film, "The Godfather."--from Homes and Other Black Holes by Dave Barry.

Know Your Objective

If you don't go into the negotiation knowing what you want, you'll never be disappointed. Unfortunately, if you don't,  other people are going to walk all over you time and time again. Be perfectly clear  about what you want to achieve before you begin the negotiation process. Know not only your "best case scenario", but also your  bottom line objective, which you absolutely must have in order to make the deal work. If it falls in between-that is success

Information is Power

In negotiation, information is power. The most valuable pieces of information are the ones that help you determine what is important to the other party and how far they are willing to go to close the deal. This is going to require you to do some advance research, but you can also gather information by asking questions throughout the negotiation.  Documenting as you go along before you get to the negotiating table is extremely helpful. 

Give The Other Party's Words Back to Them

This can be re-iterating what they have already told you, especially if they jumping all around and changing their mind, or upping the ante.  It is also a good tool for  summarizing what has been said to move deeper into the objective

kid's feet inshoes,clipart from Barbara Chatterton, Realtor in Middleton, negotiating

Put Yourself in the Other Person's Shoes.

Sounds so simple but it is worth your effort every time.

 Don't Be Intimidated

Sometimes intimidation creeps in. Don't let that happen! You probably have just as many ideas and strategies  as the number one agent in the largest firm in your area. But once you allow yourself to be intimidated, you've already lost ground in the negotiation. Approach the negotiation process as an equal, confident in your ability to achieve a good deal for your clients.  Fake it till you make it, practice in a Mirror. Rehearse and re-write scripts from books or seminars and make them your own.

 Aim High

In negotiation, it's expected that both parties will ask for more than they want in hopes of getting what they actually want. When you ask for something, aim high enough to leave room for negotiation, but not so high that it comes off as an insult. Likewise, when the other person asks for something, remember that they've likely inflated their request. Have the courage to do that and it can pay off.

 Use Body Language

Use it yourself to convey confidence, warmth, openness or to accentuate your points. Good negotiators know how to use body language to their advantage. They also know how to read other people's body language to gain the upper hand. Crossed arms, raised eyebrows, wandering eyes - they all mean something. Pay attention and you'll be surprised what you might learn about what is really going on in the negotiation regardless of what is being said with words.  "How to Read A Person Like A Book" and also Reading People are two of my favorite resources on Body Language. 

Be Patient

Think about taking a short break instead of giving in to the other person's demands or if the process is just wearing you out.  It can sometimes feel so much fresher when you have a second start. Have you ever gone into the rest room or a private office and taken about 10 deep breaths with slow exhaling? I am sure many have-but if you haven't, try it.  Negotiation can be nerve-wracking. Sometimes it's tempting to give up concessions just to reach an agreement. But impatience can be costly.

Inform the Parties of What They Will Lose or Ask How They will feel If They Do Lose It:  "A year from now, will you regret  that you did not make the necessary compromise to obtain what you were going after.  How will you feel about losing this? 

Be Prepared to  Actually Walk away

No matter what happens in the midst of the negotiations, , never be afraid to just walk away from the deal. This may, of course, mean that you'll never be able to make the deal, but as is so often the case,  it might also be the just the ticket the other party n needs to reach an agreement..  I have actually walked away from a deal -and the other party took it as a strategy and gave us what we wanted and more! 

EDIT: From Wende Schoof :

Do Not Beat Yourself Up

Sometimes the other side refuses to negotiate at all. We can't beat ourselves up over this if we gave it our best shot.

 

 

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Greater Madison Wisconsin Real Estate

The Stark Company 

702 N High Point Rd, Suite 100

Madison Wisconsin 53717

Call or text 608.239.2777 

 

 

 

1~Judi Barrett
Integrity Real Estate Services 116 SE AVE N, Idabel, OK 74745 - Idabel, OK
BS Ed, Integrity Real Estate Services -IDABEL OK

Barbara,

Studying the art of negotiating is a wise thing that all of us should do. 

Great thoughts on it to pass along. Thanks!

Oct 20, 2010 02:52 PM
Barbara Chatterton
The Stark Company Realtors, Madison WI - Madison, WI
Greater Madison Wisconsin Area Realtor

Thanks, for me, as I write it helps keep me inspired, too. 

Oct 20, 2010 03:04 PM
Bill Gassett
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Hopkinton, MA
Metrowest Massachusetts Real Estate

Barbara that isa truly terrific list! There is no questions that successful negotiation takes skill.

Oct 21, 2010 12:57 AM
Barbara Chatterton
The Stark Company Realtors, Madison WI - Madison, WI
Greater Madison Wisconsin Area Realtor

Thanks, Bill.  You are right!

Oct 21, 2010 12:59 AM
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Platinum - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Barbara, I agree with all the commentors above me too...in this business, like most, you have to be able to successfully negotiate !

Oct 21, 2010 02:21 AM
Dagny Eason
Dagny's Real Estate - Wilton, CT
Fairfield County CT, CDPE Homes For Sale and Condo

Barbara - I agreee!!!!   You need to watch and listen to your opponents to see where they are coming from.   Sometimes put their shoes on, but always leave them room to change their minds.    I watched a very skilled agent this week paint herself into a corner that she could not get out of, so her clients lost a great house.   Shame on her ...

Oct 21, 2010 02:52 PM
1~Judi Barrett
Integrity Real Estate Services 116 SE AVE N, Idabel, OK 74745 - Idabel, OK
BS Ed, Integrity Real Estate Services -IDABEL OK

Hi Barbara, just came back by to see what you've been up to.

 

Oct 21, 2010 04:46 PM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Great post, Barbara! So many agents who came into the business during the bubble era are clueless when it comes to negotiating, and you've got some really helpful tips her.

Oct 22, 2010 05:09 AM
Menlo Park Real Estate and Homes for Sale
Wende Schoof - Menlo Park, CA
WendeByTheBay.com - 650.504.0219 - SF Peninsula

Barbara, these are great tips on successful negotiating.  The one thing I'd add, after an experience I had this week, is to not beat yourself up if the other side refuses to negotiate at all.  We sat at the table, and they weren't really there. Timing is important, too.

Oct 24, 2010 11:43 AM
Barbara Chatterton
The Stark Company Realtors, Madison WI - Madison, WI
Greater Madison Wisconsin Area Realtor

You are so right, Wende! We have to let go when necessary and be OK with the fact that we tried but it was just not possible.  I am editing my post to include this.

Oct 25, 2010 03:02 AM