Lately, it seems that every time I turn around, I'm faced with the realities of getting older and how much more complicated things seem to get as I age.
When we're born, we don't really have any worries. Our basic needs are met. Food, clothing, shelter. We get a little older, and we start adding to those needs. Entertainment, companionship, and gathering "stuff" to put in our shelter.
Then, in our 40's and 50's, we start preparing for when we're even older. Entertainment gives a back seat to estate planning (or, what to do with the stuff we've accumulated), getting our nest eggs safely tucked away and determining what we'll do in case of a true emergency (protecting our stuff).
Then we hit the 60's and 70's. Oh my word, where did all this stuff come from. And furthermore, why are all my younger relatives eyeballing my stuff? They can darn well work and accumulate their own stuff just like I did. Don't even get me started talking about family politics!
80's? Well, that's when we start divesting ourselves of stuff. Giving it away. Haul it off and it's yours. At a certain point, you're priorities are a non-leaking roof, a comfortable mattress, good coffee, adequate fiber in your diet, and a prescription plan with low deductibles.
It's almost like our lives follow a "bell" curve. At both ends, our needs are basically food, clothing and shelter. In the middle, our needs are huge. Some people's bell curves are pretty short. They're the ones I envy. I think it's a sort of contentment these people hold with what they have and not want more. Those that have tall bell curves probably have a harder time in their 60's, 70's and 80's when they start dealing with the fact they have a lot of stuff, and aren't going to be able to take any of it with them.
You know, the more stuff you have, the harder you have to work to keep it, and protect it. Do you think it's enjoyable to have to worry about burglar alarms, security systems, locked gates, and bulletproof glass?
I'm only 38, soon to be 39. I find myself being more cautious about things I used to never care about, and not caring about things that used to be important to me. I no longer will get more than 2-3 rungs up on a ladder if I'm alone, but I could care less if I ever buy a "new" car again. I guess we just get less materialistic and more careful about our own bodies as we age.
In the last month, I've been involved in helping an 89 year old woman move from the home she's occupied for 30 years into a 600 square foot senior apartment. She hasn't reached the point most of us have about her stuff. Her stuff is dear to her and to part with just about any of it has been at best, difficult. (In actuality, it's been almost impossible.) Her tiny apartment is filled waist deep with boxes of stuff. Trinkets she's gathered from world travels, knick knacks and chotzkies people have given her over the years. She's at the point she often can't find her keys to her car (yes, she still drives! [Lord help us]), and eats junk food. She's not someone that's on a limited income. Her health is declining, yet she does nothing about it - but heaven forbid you suggest she get rid of that box full of empty perfume cases and soaps filched from hotel bathrooms....they're part of her crafts (that she never works on) and she'll get to them.
Her stuff is still important to her.
On the other hand, I was at my best friend's grandmother's home the other day. She will be 86 on the thirteenth of this month (Happy Birthday Maw-maw!). She's lived in the same tiny home over 45 years. You'd think it would be filled to the brim with stuff. WRONG. She's got a no-nonsense approach to things. She's had the same sleeper sofa since Lord knows when (I swear, it's made of cast iron because I've tried to move it and can't). All of her trinkets and chotzkies would probably fill about 4 good sized cardboard boxes. She rarely drives anymore and enjoys the company she gets whenever someone drops by. Her kitchen stove has one burner that doesn't work anymore, but when asked why she doesn't replace it, she asks why she should? She rarely cooks anymore and never to the point that all four burners would be in use simultaneously.
She couldn't give a rat's rear-end about her stuff.
Which one do you think is probably happier?
I've been guilty at points in my life about gathering too much stuff and then having to figure out how to deal with it. (One easy way is divorce, but not recommended) But the last few months, I've come to the realization that I'm much happier if I focus on people, not things. I'm going to gather all the friends and acquaintances I can, and hold onto them. My stuff, well, I don't really care about it anymore.
I'm going to get a head start on my 80's right now. My roof doesn't leak, I have a comfortable mattress, I have "fiber-one" on my Wal-Mart shopping list, I have prescription coverage in my health plan, and now, I'm going to fix myself a strong cup of coffee. I'll probably call a friend too. See what they're up to. Life's going to be a lot less complicated for me from now on.
How tall is your bell curve right now?
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