Hi friends! Billy Jays here!
Looking up at a boring roof every day?
Sure you are! What could be less boring than a nice, flat, perfectly-placed roof?
Well, not much!
Introducing Ripple Yer Roof!
Imagine how fun it will be to look up again at that roof and see the gentle sway of a Caribbean bay!
Or the gentle, expanding circles of a pond's skin as you skip a flat rock across the surface!
Yes, Ripple Yer Roof! will change your life!
It will certainly change your roof!
Just think how proud your neighbors will be to know that you have the most interesting roof in the area!
So call now! And if you call in the next 20 minutes, cause we can't do this all day, we will throw in a can of flat, black spray paint for that white roof plumbing penetration! Now nothing, that is NOTHING, will divert anyone's attention from their special view of Ripple Yer Roof!
You will almost be as proud as I! We are so proud to offer this, our newest product of the Billy Jays line, that if you just share with a friend that you are purchasing it, we will ship it to you free!
So CALL NOW!
Our new fantastic roofing product will send a ripple, um, tingle up your leg every time you pull into the driveway!
So call now and one of our roofing specialists will happily take $33.33 from you and send Ripple Yer Roof! um, to you! And don't worry, if you are nice, and just because we are ALWAYS nice, we will double your offer so you can Ripple Yer Roof! on the front AND the back!! Why treat only your neighbors on the front side of your house when you can treat those to your rear too!?
And we'd love to cover your rear! So why wouldn't you call now!?
Take it from me, Billy Jays, and never be bored with your roof again! Get real! Get Ripple Yer Roof!
This production of Billy Jays has been brought to you by Lotsa Nuts! When you feel like a snack, eat Lotsa Nuts!
Because you are what you eat!
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