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There is NEVER any benefit to be derived from burning bridges!

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Richard Weisser Realty

 

Burning bridges never solves anything.It is human nature to become defensive when provoked. There are many times when someone does something that irritates, annoys, or devolves to the point of making us angry.

And often our response to being rebuked is to fire back.This can escalate into an adversarial posture that is beyond reconciliation.

But there is no benefit to be derived from a severed relationship. Zero, Zilch. Nadda. None!

As long as the bridge remains unburned, there is still an opportunity to extract something positive at some point in time. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Sometimes it takes a little forgiveness. Goodness only knows that we could all use some every now and then!

 

Richard Weisser
Richard Weisser Realty - Newnan, GA
Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional

Is there anyone beyond redemption? Especially in the business world? People can change, and a lot of times we realize the error of our ways and strive to make things right.

I'm not saying that it is going to happen in every case, but I am say that 15% or 10% or even a 5% chance is better than zero!

Nov 09, 2010 12:04 AM
Noah Levy
Coldwell Banker - Highland Park, IL
Coldwell Banker Highland Park IL

Richard

Well spoken. That's why its so important to let the "little things" roll of our backs - especially in business!

Nov 09, 2010 12:07 AM
Michael Setunsky
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA

Richard, sage advice! Forgiving someone isn't only for their benefit, but for your benefit. Its best to forgive, put it behind you and move on. Thanks.

Nov 09, 2010 01:07 AM
Dustin McClure
Mossy Oak Properties Outdoor Realty - Mooresville, NC

Richard -

Curious as to what program you use to put a border on your photos and your name on the bottom.

Nov 09, 2010 01:37 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Richard - this is long overdue... but ... "i forgive you, man!"

Nov 09, 2010 05:15 AM
Patricia Aulson
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY HOME SERVICES Verani Realty NH Real Estate - Exeter, NH
Realtor - Portsmouth NH Homes-Hampton NH Homes

Well I have to say I've burned a few, but that's the way it was. No I just move forward with a positive approach. No point or need to "burn the bridge" just move on.

Patricia/Seacoast NH & ME

Nov 09, 2010 05:35 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Broker
Elizabeth Anne Weintraub, Broker - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Sometimes there is a reason to burn a bridge. I can honestly say that over the past 10 years, I have burned one bridge. But it needed to go. The agent kept calling, asking me to lunch. She was clueless. But ordinarily I don't tell people what I think of them; I keep it to myself.

Nov 09, 2010 05:44 AM
Daniel Newsome
Seattle, WA

The Four Agreements is a great book in this regard

Nov 09, 2010 06:16 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Richard---good thoughts to remember.  Thanks for posting and sharing.

Nov 10, 2010 02:13 AM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Richard - It is like something I read yesterday about cutting off a tree branch...like never cut a branch unless they are about to hang you from it!

Nov 11, 2010 12:33 AM
John Whittinghill
Keller Williams Realty First Atlanta - Marietta, GA
Marietta, GA Real Estate Agent

So true, Richard!....although reading this, reminds me of a few bridges SOAKED IN KEROSENE that I'd like to BURN, but what's the point, except a little temporary satisfaction, that probably wouldn't be effective anyway.  Telling someone off, rarely "teaches them a lesson"!....thanks for the reminder.

Nov 11, 2010 03:21 AM
Teresa Cooper
Home Solution Real Estate Services - North Charleston, SC
SC Lowcountry - Charleston, Dorchester, Berkeley

AGREE!  I hear so many folks who have one bad incident, don't want to consider that there may be "another side" to the issue, and are ready to DYNAMITE that bridge!  Oh wait, I'm talking about myself from a few years ago!

Nov 12, 2010 05:34 PM
Kristen Heyen Noble
Stage It List It Sell It - Rochester, NY

Absolutely!  I always try to live by the advice I give my own kids, "When in doubt, close your mouth."  How many times in life do you regret being quiet compared to wishing you had said something?

Nov 13, 2010 02:53 PM
Pat, Ben and Martin Mullikin
M3 Realty - Brookfield, WI

Richard, 99% of the time. After 10 or 11 slaps in the face, it is time to walk away. You might not be sure you're on the high road, but leave that bridge far, far behind.....

Nov 14, 2010 12:09 PM
Wayne Johnson
Coldwell Banker D'Ann Harper REALTORS® - San Antonio, TX
San Antonio REALTOR, San Antonio Homes For Sale

So Richard, Were you the potential burner or did someone burn their bridge with you?

Dec 01, 2010 04:37 AM
Harrison K. Long
HomeSmart, Evergreen Realty - Irvine, CA
REALTOR , GRI, Broker associate, Attorney

Richard ... You're right that it's challenging not to respond with bitterness when being attacked or criticized.  However, we are taught to respond through showing of respect and not defensiveness and despair.  I've been able to meet that challenge a number of times, but it's not an easy thing.

Dec 01, 2010 06:50 AM
Melissa Brown
Helen Adams Realty - Charlotte, NC
Realtor - South Charlotte NC Homes for Sale

Richard, this is a great post, and very thought provoking!  Seems to go back to what our Mamas taught us, doesn't it?  Their generation seemed to see things in much simpler light.  Kind of goes back to the golden rule - don't burn a bridge with someone if you wouldn't want one burned against you.  ....or something like that!a

Dec 05, 2010 12:38 PM
Larry Bettag
Cherry Creek Mortgage Illinois Residential Mortgage License LMB #0005759 Cherry Creek Mortgage NMLS #: 3001 - Saint Charles, IL
Vice-President of National Production

Rich...home run here!  I love it!  IT's not often that you can burn a bridge and have it not come back to bite you in the butt!  I'm not a bridge burner!  Ever!  Great post!

Dec 09, 2010 04:01 PM
Pauline Charlton
Reliant Realty ERA Powered - Brentwood, TN
Making Your Move a Smooth Move

The "turn the other cheek" attitude can be rewarding  but goodness knows, it is hard sometimes. Saying nothing goes a long way. You could always tell yourself later  what you should have said...:)

Dec 10, 2010 03:10 AM
Gary S. Thompson
Masters Utah Real Estate - Cottonwood Heights, UT
Broker Associate, Realtor, CRS, SRS, SFR, e-Pro

I have burnt a few and thought I was justified and done - but sure enough have been bitten a few times because of that - Since resolving to resist and let things go I have also seen many great things come back to me. Thanks

Jan 13, 2011 09:19 AM