Home : Blogs : Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman HAWAII Relocations & Real Estate : ALOHA! Hawaii Real Estate and Relocations Blog

No Secrets, No Lies: Honesty Means the Whole Truth

Jo-Anne Smith created a contest to write about

Honesty, and What It Means to You~Contest Announcement and Entries So Far . Wow. Is this a sign from all my past remarks and posts? It must be because I would love to disclose what "Honesty Means to ME" and what it means to me in my personal and professional life. <CLICK> and listen while you read please.

First of all, honesty starts with me. If I am unable to be honest with myself how can I be honest with other people? Let me elaborate. I learned many years ago that the thoughts I had were mine. I owned them. I had to deal with the behavior that came along right after those thoughts and needless to say my thinking drove my behavior. I didn't have a very high self esteem growing up although late in life I learned to turn the thoughts of myself that were filled with low self esteem to manifest and create the productive human being I am today.

After living with the same thoughts, attitude and behavior for the majority of my life it was very hard to change my thinking around to have a positive outcome. It takes constant awareness of my thoughts (even now after ten years) and how my body is reacting to them. Everyone knows what this feeling is. It's the gut feeling that tells you if you're doing something right or wrong. (If you have a conscience that is) I rely on that gut feeling to direct me in all my decisions with personal as well as my professional life.

There are no short cuts in my life and this means that I am always able to go to sleep at night. No worries when I lay my head down on the pillow knowing that I lived my day to the fullest with no regrets about anything I did during that day. This is the meaning of being content and having a sound mind, body and soul.

Telling half truths or leaving out pertinent information is still being dishonest. It's called lying by omission. Why waste all that energy lying (or leaving things out) when it takes so much effort to remember what and who you told what to. And so little effort to just be open and honest.

In this respect this has given me the freedom to conduct my Real Estate business literally ....with ease.

Disclose, disclose and disclose: There have been times when I have been told something by a seller and they add, "but we don't have to put that down" or "we don't have to tell anyone". My response? I have flat out told them, "I will not lie for you or anyone else and I like to sleep well at night".
No Short cuts: Throughout each and every transaction I do pay attention to every detail (some say it's my Virgo personality) to the contract as well as going above and beyond so that I am always thinking in the best interests of my client. If I don't know I ask. So I will sleep well at night.
Give my honest opinion. I have been known to try and talk a client out of purchasing if they are overextending themselves. To date, I have had only one client such as this and today they are in trouble with an ARM. I tried. No matter what the subject is I give my honest opinion or direct the person to the proper person who can give them advise. And I sleep well at night.
Working with others in the Real Estate Industry. Escrow, the other agent, loan officers. I choose to be upfront and honest with everyone involved. Keeping everyone up to date and informed on every detail so no one is left in the dark is another reason.....I sleep well at night.

Edited *No secrets. No lies. Honesty means the whole truth and nothing but the truth. .... and this does not include telling something with the ulterior motive of hurting someone. I added this part in so no one is under the impression it's all about being a tattle tale on others or self. It does not exclude the fact that lying by ommission is surely a deceitful tactic to make oneself "look good" at someone else's expense.

I will sleep well again tonight.*

<CLICK For ADIA by Sarah McLachlan>.......

"And show you all the beauty you possess. If you'd only let yourself believe that"

Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's Mililani Hawaii Real Estate Blog 2007©

Century 21 Liberty Homes, Mililani, Hawaii

Office of the Hawaii Military Relocation Specialists for over 32 years!

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman HAWAII Relocations & Real Estate on 09/07/2007 12:02 AM

Comments (71)

honesty, real estate industry, hawaii relocation, mililani hawaii real estate

Originally posted at: Hawaii Real Estate & Relocations : No Secrets, No Lies: Honesty Means the Whole Truth

This post has been included in Hawaii Information Honolulu County, HI Information
Post is included in group: Realtors®

71 Comments on No Secrets, No Lies: Honesty Means the Whole Truth

SEP

2007

Sally,

The tune was great. This is what is great about AR. WE own our blogs. To lie or omit in any of them would be an affront to anyone with a rightly formed conscience, let alone our SELF. That's why we enjoy it. Because it's the truth of US turned OUTWARD for all to see! And hear! Thanks, Fran

Fran: So true. I have written countless posts on writing from the inside out. Well, it's me and if I write other than that I'm sure it will come out all funky like I see a lot of them around here. lol. It's pretty easy to see if someone is writing from self or writing what they "think" others want to hear. I found my niche even with Localism...can't do stats. Glad you enjoyed the music!

Sally... I am so with this. But even on AR, when being honest, you can still be attacked by members. Sorry, not trying to be negative. But I have been attacked in a post of mine from 3 days ago. And it was because I was honest... and I still thought I was polite about it. Good inspiration here and good job.

jeff belonger

Great true post. I agree with it 100% I had a lady tell me last week about a scam she is doing and I quickly got off the phone, and just from that phone call I wasn't able to sleep. I can't imagine if I actually went along with it, or that people do that type of stuff!

You are so right. What good does it do to lie? It will all come back to haunt you. The truth will set you free. THANKS

Jeff: This is an inspirational post and for Jo-Anne's contest.

Dawn: Why people need to "share" their guilt is beyond me. So I sleep well at night...my response would have been....and why are you telling me this? I really don't think you care about me if you want to share your sleaziness to help ease your guilt...and on and on.....:)

Janna: And we sleep well at night.

I need some time - so I can keep up with some of these contests - but your post is great - and you know - I always figure if you tell the truth and disclose you never have to remember what you said.... nice job Sally

I know about having to change your thinking. And I've discovered as I've gone along that it's better to just be true to yourself. The rest of life works out better when I'm just me, and not who I think everyone else wants me to be.

Might have to look into that contest ...

Ok Sally now I'm over listening to all Sarah's video's. Honesty and integrity is being the same person 24/7. I learned in my later years, that some people will like me, others want. Big deal, amazing in our 50's we don't care. I see my children care about what people think but I know they will grow out of it.

Your honestly shows through in everything you write, Sally. No worries.

Honesty? It's for lazy people for me who don't want to have to remember what you said before.

Nice to know you as a member of the Rain Sally! I believe you. It's folks like you and your sister Sarah whom i appreciate being around. I will sleep better tonight knowing i've subscribed to your posts!

Enjoyed reading and listening to this excellent, very well put together post! Thanks for sharing it.... have a fantabulous day!

Sally-is there any other way? Love the post....I have to agree with you....whatever I do I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and I have to live with whatever I decide! Also, lying requires to much energy. I used to tell my kids whatever you do, don't lie to me....I take it personally.

Sally, It's a lovely post. I'm the one who has to live with myself and I sure do like to sleep well at night. And for that I need to be myself and to be honest. I think the "be myself" part was more difficult for me, I never could lie even if I wanted to! (Found THAT out at an early age :)

Beautiful post, Sally . You have such a way of expressing your deep thoughts and feelings that enables the reader to understand and feel exactly what you are saying....

Re. the expressions in your post~ many of us have been there too and often still are....myself, for one.

a wonderful entry for the 'honesty' contest . Thank you ! ((-:

Sally, you've done it! This post is absolutely wonderful. In our business and our daily walk and talk in life there is only one way, HONESTY. Thank you for putting your heart into your post.

Sally, I love this post. Being in integrity requires being honest with ourself first. You talk about how honesty reflects in all of our life and I agree totally. It follows through in all of our relationships. The quality of our relationships depends on how we are with others.

Sally,

I couldn't agree with you more, and Honesty is really the best policy, because I am my children's role model, they look up to me, and it all starts with me :0)

I gave a 5 to you because, more people should read this, it applies to our lovely Mortgage Business too!!!!

Bye Sally,

Tom Weiss

I listened while I read your post, Sally. What a neat experience! You engage your audience so very well. It keeps us coming back. Thanks for the focus on honesty, and for setting high standards.

Mike in Tucson

Hi Sally,

You say it so well, honestly! :) Thank you

Sally Such a sweet soul you have, and honestly I am very happy to have met your aquaintance! A jewel here on Active Rain and in the other world for sure :)

Was is upbring? Is it genes? Or your travels down the road of life? There's something about you Sally, something intangible but at the same time rock solid and touchable. It's purity.

Being a nurse has made me the master of telling half-truths by not giving the whole story to a patient. I do this on purpose Sally. Believe it or not, treating a patient with aggressive therapy who has a 0% chance of recovery, and telling them that the therapy is working, and they are not terminal, sometimes works! This is honestly true. But telling a patient they are terminal, and aggressively treating them, always fails. The mind controls the body, always.

I've found many instances in my life when lying is the best policy. It's never for personal gain, or malicious, but always just the opposite. Maybe I'm just being stupid, but always telling the truth has not worked for me, not as a nurse, and not as a Realtor. So whenever possible, I keep my mouth shut until someone backs me in a corner and demands an opinion. Please don't think less of me.

I loved the music. It made me cry.

Thesa: I made time for this one...started it a few days ago actually. It's so much easier.

Sarah: You'd do good on this one too. I like these because everyone has a different opinion.

Missy: That kind of thinking is prevalent in my daughter. I hope she grows out of it soon. (she's 25)

Lenn: Darn, how come I can't think up lines like this? I guess I'm lazy too.

Diane: Thanks Diane....lil sis is a wonderful gal and I'll be over there shortly.

Midori: Look myself in the mirror. That's another good one.

Carole: I always let others dictate how I felt about myself. Doesn't fit in my life today. Good for you!

Jo: I'm glad my writing gets out there and is understandable. I appreciate your responses and glad you think it's worthy in the contest!

Julie: I'm afraid that's the only way I am able to write..hehe. No matter what subject I write about the heart and soul are in it...that's for sure. Thanks for your support julie!

Pat: I totally agree! No matter who we interact with in our everyday life will determine the quality of those relationships

Thomas: It applies to the way we live our life...regardless in personal or business. Thanks Tom. We teach our children.

Mike: I like to find music and write to it....gives me energy! Thanks for your popping by!

Suzanne: Okay...lol!

Diane: Yes, now and after. I believe I will leave behind a grand legacy.

Patsy: My upbringing was what I needed to change. It wasn't good for me. Don't know about purity :) I just believe I feel good about me..therefore able to be real with others. That's why I wrote how if I don't have an answer I'll direct them to how does. I don't try and pretend (lie) I know something if I don't. And I certainly don't give my opinion on something I am not an expert in. I don't give my opinion if it is going to hurt someone and I think being a nurse must of been hard. I could do not do that.

I love that song, but I had to turn it off so I could focus and read your post! (It is hard to sing along and read at the same time!) I think I own every cd Sarah has ever done. Love that song.

Back to the post- honesty is something that is very important to me. I have fired clients who aren't honest. I absolutely love real estate, but one of my biggest dislikes are the dishonest people we have to deal with. Your post is incredibly inspiring. You represent the type of Realtor I want on the other side of a transaction.

Ginger: Helped me write lol! And I wish I always had on the other side of a transaction too!

You are amazing Sis, absolutely amazing. There, I said it!

So are you lil bro.

I got so inspired, I joined the contest and already posted it. I didn't even know about the contest until I read your post- but I can't hold a candle to you!

Ginger: You're funny...you go girl!

Woo Hoo Sally...

Wow. Look at that balance. I'm impressed.

As far as honesty goes...It's the stuff life is made of.

Without...Well...We all know what happens to dishonest people. Karma :)

TLW...ROAR!

Oh Sally, this is a wonderful and emotional post. I see you through your writing so clearly. To sleep well at night, that is important to your whole body and being. I love the photo of the two little girls with the boat in the backround, it is stunning. You are such a kind person and your soul is pure. You provide such great service to your clients, they are so blessed to have you in their lives. Katerina

TLW: Hey...you and BB balance each other out. (thanks for the compliment again) It's like Gary and I ...I think Gary has the thick skin part. :)

I like that. "It's the stuff life is made of" and Universal Law is how it all works. We throw stuff out there and it comes back ten fold...regardless if positive or negative...that's what comes back.

Katerina: I don't know about pure. The only innocent ones in this world are newborns. And once we teach them anything that goes out the window. lol!

Sarah, I agree with you. It has taken me a long time to change the way I think. It has been a long hard road, but I am coming out to see the sun now. Thank you for your post.

Dianne: hahaha...now people are messing up sis and my name! That's okay....and changing the thinking is a long hard process...and once in awhile I gotta do some serious self talk...(I usually answer myself too)

Sally,

My purpose in real estate is to always have integrity (being a person of my word) and having authenticity (being honest). I think it would be great if we could all strive to be even just those two things.

Sally, even though you expressed this in writing, honesty is one of the characteristics you possess that those of us who read your blog regularly have seen in you through what you write.

Tammy: It's my whole purpose in living my life right...personal or professional.

George: I appreciate that George. I like being "seen" for who I am ...not what I am not. Which I know you see....thanks.

Sally-

First of all I love your graphics, in this post and pretty much all of yours....except the "turtle" :) :) Now to my comment.........

Good Job- I see all your posts, all wrapped up into this one word-Honesty. and since that is your stated goal, I would say you are one very successful person :) Keep being the you that you want to be, cuz as you said, you want to sleep well at night.

Sally, And what I love about "getting wiser" is that I choose quality above quantity of relationships.

This was such a great idea for a post...it makes a person stop and take stock! I love the choice of music.We really are all innocents no matter how we may present ourselves...that little kid is still inside!

Kathy: You're funny...the turtle was cute...he wasn't the one anyway. I can't stress enough what that means not only to me, my clients and whoever I work with or my family, friends and everyone I interact with. I stress it here because you know what Kath...it is a reflection on our industry as a whole if one here one there cuts corners, lies, cheats or whatever....Thanks...I'll sleep well tonight.

Pat. Always quality...no matter what we do in life...isn't it?

Joan: I love music to blog by. hehe. Thanks Joan ...been a long day...will get to yours shortly.

SEP

2007

Yeah Sally. It is tough to look at the glass as being half full instead of half empty. It takes a lot of mental adjustments to begin to "feel" this way. You can do it and the outcome is so worth it! You're a doll and deserve the best. Good luck to you! Deb

Debra: I sure relapsed today. Raised my voice to the other agent before stressing my broker will call his and hung up. I'm glad I have a broker who stands by my detailed work and always seems to have the right words to get me back on track....like, stop taking things personal Sally....I know where you're coming from...

Sally: Amazing! You are amazing. i always think I might enter one of these contests until I read your posts. We are born innocent - I love that line and Sarah Mclachlan........the thing is we are born that way, then life throws us lies and makes us believe we are not worthy, lovable or beautiful.........then we have to spend our time controlling our negative thoughts because we do own our thoughts and the actions they produce. You have spoken it plainly and profoundly.........Sleep well!

Sally,

Perfect response.....the ones that cheat and lie make all of us look bad. That's why I work out in the middle of nowhere, I got tired of watching the stuff that went on, especially behind other people's backs including the client. I have said it before, and i will say it again, "I think certain people slept through Ethics!"

I talk to everyone, try to be nice, but when tit comes to tat I would prefer not to be involved in Groups.....too many fake people, not honest to themselves or others.

What a beautiful post. At the end of the day we have to be able to face the mirror. There is no one else that will ever know.

Paula: Thanks Paula....I really appreciate when you come by and comment...it's comments as yours that give me the belief I am worthy (in my writing ;) I like your line....life throws us lies....and we spend our time controlling negative thoughts.

Kathy: I'm IN the middle of nowhere! WooHoo! See you soon! Believe me....even here...we get all kinds. I too...think people slept through ethics. I had a very bad incident with another agent. (the same current transaction) and I just couldn't take it anymore and had my broker call his. I hang with me.

Diane: Oh, people do know and can see..you'd be surprised what people on the outside of us can see of us.

Paula, I may pass now, too- Sally Jo wrote another beaut.

Laurie: You guys better stop it! Get going and write your own!

Very nice post. I completely agree and this is a must.

I totally agree with you. There's really no need to lie and perceived benefits are minuscule compared to the negative image that we portray.

Adam: Thanks much

Al: You got it! With so much negative media attention we don't need more for unethical professionals

Sally - What an inspirational post - Even if I had not read this post I would know that you are a honest person with high standards - It comes through in your writing.

Sandra: Why thank you kind lady! Check out all the other posts in the Inspiration group.

Celeste - You strike me as being a very honest person. I'm sure that carries through with your clients!!

Tracy: Yeah, well I sure am having a tough time with a current transaction...not the client's it's the agent. Goodness, can't some just work with me instead of against me?

SEP

2007

Sally, this was such a wonderful thoughtful post. "It's the gut feeling that tells you if you're doing something right or wrong" My grandmother had a saying: "What does your tummy tell you to do?" Not your head, but your tummy :-) I like having my tummy feel good. Thank you so much for this post!

I do disagree with one statement. There actually is a short cut in life. If you are honest that is the best short cut. It makes life so much simpler.

Kris: Yes! Listen to your tummy ...the thinking is not always right.

Randy: That's why I put.... And so little effort to just be open and honest....I'm talking about short cuts with a transaction...and going through every detail.....the current transaction the other agent is just trying to take the easy road and think it'll all be overlooked ...it's one thing to not know...it's another to know and hope they don't find out.

Sally- This is a terrific post.. In our business I don't think we can over-stress the importantance of being honest. There is nothing worse then being involved in a transaction with someone you can't trust.. It always seemed to me that being honest was just so much easier and made more sense then taking another course. Besides my Dad would have been so disappointed had I acted other then with complete honesty.

Kaye: Thanks so much! I feel like that right now but it'll be over shortly. It's easy for me...why can't it be the same with others who I'm working on the other side of? Wo is me.... :)

SEP

2007

Sally, wow, you blew me away with this one. Some profound truths in there. You hit it out of the ballpark for me. I even played Adia while I read. =) And that picture has got to be one of the nicest I've seen in a long time. It needs no words yet says so much.

Maggie: Truths and so easy to follow ....Thanks!

Sally, yep I called you Sarah.......you guys really must be sisters!

You wrote an excellent blog! If you are not honest, it is your reputation that is on the line!

Dianne: Yup..that's okay...we're one and the same..ha!

Bill/Barbara: Yes it is! Thanks so much for the support and input!

SEP

2007

Sally,
What an absolutely wonderful post to start my day off with. You are so true to the nature of one's seld. In then end all we wish for, as for my opinion, is to be honest, decent, have our integrity, and dignety,
God Bless You
Tom Braatz

Tom: Thanks for the counter comment which will start my day off too!

SEP

2007

In light of the usual AR drama and politics and all that jazz...I just wanted to bring this up to the forefront again.

I am by far perfect. But I do not do anything without consulting my conscience and trying to be aware of my thoughts..... that I am not doing anything that might hurt another.

Leave a response…

Name:

Email:
(optional)

Comment:

What does the graphic say?