I braved the weather and the crowds this morning to "shop til I dropped". Evidently about 40,000 other people here in town had the same crazy idea. Now that I'm home and punch-drunk from sleep deprivation, here's my Letterman-like top 10 list of reasons NOT to shop today.
10. Ugh, It's 4am. Even the rooster has sense enough to stay in bed for another hour or two.
9. Retailer shenanigans. Oops, our bad. Sorry shoppers, we advertised all these great offers but only had two each in the store.
8. Cleanup on isles 4 and 7...Wow, is that turkey, dressing, dessert, or all 3?
7. No really, there's plenty of room in the overcrowded aisle for a double-wide stroller
6. Priceless...Getting an early preview of future peopleofwalmart.com participants!
5. All shapes, colors, and sizes...except mine (and yours).
4. Rubbin' is racin'. Add in body odor (other peoples) and personal space violations for a super thrill ride.
3. Why would I mind? You look important, go ahead, cut in line.
2. Yippee! Turning the corner made all the difference. I can see the register from my spot in line now.
And the #1 reason not to shop today...
1. Random acts by strangers. Ummm...excuse me does this make my butt look big(ger)?
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