As parents, we are expected to teach our children about the ways of the world, and give them every opportunity to succeed in life. There is no level of professional success that can surpass the feeling of knowing that you did everything that you could for your children. After all, for many of us, the desire to be successful is driven by the even stronger desire to provide for our families, and not the personal accolades that can be achieved.
It's easy to see the results of the direct teachings that we provide to our children because we are looking for them, however, we often overlook the fact that some of the most important lessons that children learn are through the experiences that they have, and the things that they absorb just by listening. In essence, they are always learning, even when we aren't consciously teaching them.
(Case-in-point) A lot of my recent discussions with my wife revolve around blogging and things that are going on since I discovered Active Rain. At one point during a recent family trip, (which I wrote about in Do You Think That Only Brown Cows Make Chocolate Milk? (A Catskill Mountain Getaway)), we all started joking around and adding the word "blog" into song titles to help pass the time in the car. This joke has now taken on a life of its own, as the concept is now featured in a weekly blog entitled Active Rain Addicts Presents.
The point of the story is that the word "blog" has been bandied about so much recently, that my son has actually become interested in blogging. He told us that he's going to write a blog about Kindergarten. The other day, while driving in the car, he looked out the window and said that he's going to write a blog about a tree. Just over a month ago we had never even mentioned the word "blog," and now my impressionable youngster is talking about writing his own (like father, like son). Children like to emulate the grown-ups that influence them, so we need to be mindful of the messages that we send to them through the lessons that we consciously teach to them, through our words and through our actions.
My wife and I have always been very manner-conscious, so it has been instilled into our children as well. Actually, it's probably more accurate to say that these traits have been instilled into our son, as our daughter is just over a year old and still likes to spit out her drink and rub food all over herself, and never says please or thank you. Come to think of it, she doesn't say much at all that we can understand, so her babbling may be polite - who knows? On the other hand, our son has taken this to another level, as every "thank you" must be followed by "your welcome" or he'll let you know about it.
About a year or so ago we were leaving a store and someone held the door for us. My son politely said "thank you" and waited for the appropriate response, which never came. As the man that held the door walked down the street, my son yelled out "I said - THANK YOU!" Although we laughed at the incident, we also were a little embarrassed that he yelled this out in public, but at least it was for a good reason.
As parents and role models, we owe it to our children to make the best possible impression on them. We lead by example and they follow what they see and hear, particularly when they are young. It may seem odd to quote a superhero movie, but this quote from Spiderman definitely applies to this way of thinking:
"With great power, comes great responsibility." Think about this the next time that you want to teach your child a life lesson, or even when you speak around them. You don't know how much they take in until you hear your own words repeated back to you.
The original intent of this blog when it was announced in Active Rain Addicts Presents, was to deliver a positive message about the things that kids learn from us, such as having a five-year old talking about creating his own blog. However, this positive blog will take a turn in Part 2 that I didn't see coming when I came up with the idea to write about the impressions that we make on children. Please look for Part 2 on Wednesday.
Please feel free to share any stories about you and your children or to leave a comment.
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