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"Celibate in Your New Home" ...And Other MLS Whoppers

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Nun Doll

Well friends, something tells me the holiday parties have begun.  The MLS and local real estate ads are showing signs of a lot of Happy Hour celebration.  Beware of tippling-n-typing over the holidays, or you may end up with egg nog on your face.

Check out these doozies:

Hey, Dude - Newds!

"Newd on market!" (I guess another starlet just hit Hollywood.)

"Be in your home for Newt Year" (But how do you get the party hats to stay on a salamander's head?)

"Walk-out basemen" (Typical song-n-dance man...)

"Free drawling" (Why, thanks, y'all.)

"All new hiny baths" (Uh, I believe those are called "bidets.")

What a gas!

"Your buyer won't gass on this home!" (I'd rather he do it there than in my car.)

"Nice hosue" (Everyone loves a good Korean BBQ.)

"Celibate in your new home" (A stiff mortgage can kill any libido.)

"On hold for the remains of the month" (Grandpa, your urn is ready.)

"New widows in all rooms" (Ah...now we know where the "remains" of the month came from.)

Be Careful What You Wish For

"Great views from balony" (Of what - someone's intestinal tract?)

"Duel baths" (Touche toushie!)

Click Her To Continue The Fun

Comments (25)

Jean Hanley
Coldwell Banker Kivett Teeters - Hemet, CA
Specializing in Folks Who Want To Buy/Sell Homes

ROFL...it's amazing how we, as agents, make a tidy sum of money for marketing a seller's home for sale, yet, we cannot take the little bit of time it takes to proof our material before it goes to print.

Dec 11, 2010 08:26 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lyn, we never see an end do this, do wee, uh "we"? :)

Dec 11, 2010 08:29 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you Gita and Jerry.

David, that reminds me of the one I saw that said, "New Construction Won't Last" :)

Dec 11, 2010 08:31 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lori, I never thought of that as a sales approach. You may be on to something!

Dec 11, 2010 08:31 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

You know Jean, I bet those same agents somehow manage to check their checks carefully...

Dec 11, 2010 08:32 AM
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

I'll take that one with the herd of buffalo please.  But can you make sure the buffalo have wings, so they tread lightly.

Dec 11, 2010 09:07 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

LOL! Georgina, I think you also better make room for the "deer and the antelope to play"!

Dec 11, 2010 09:17 AM
Brian Dunshie
Russ Lyon | Sotheby's International Realty - Paradise Valley, AZ
Realtor - Arizona Biltmore,Arcadia,Paradise Valley

Gwen, did the add or listing really say "hiny baths" - that's too funny!

I can't believe these are r/e adds

Dec 11, 2010 09:18 AM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Gwen, This just goes to show, you should NEVER drink and type....

Love it love it love it!

Dec 11, 2010 09:49 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Oh, I saw one yesterday.  I forgot to mark it down.  Another set of great ones, Gwen.

Dec 11, 2010 10:15 AM
Cindy Jones
Integrity Real Estate Group - Woodbridge, VA
Pentagon, Fort Belvoir & Quantico Real Estate News

If I'm having a bad day the MLS is usually good for a chuckle.  Thanks again for showing us how inane some agents can be.

Dec 11, 2010 01:13 PM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

Hi Gwen,

Again you provide much needed humor!  How about homophones (yes I did look the word up)....I see a lot of boo boos with their (there), here (hear), hey (hay), and the one that always brings a chuckle is ate. 

Dick Beals

Dec 11, 2010 02:15 PM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

I really enjoyed the "on hold for the remains of the month" and your quip for it, Gwen.  You are really urning your keep on AR with these posts, Gwen.

Going to see the Bulldogs vs Stanford next week!

Dec 11, 2010 03:20 PM
Kathryn Maguire
GreatNorfolkHomes.com (757) 560-0881 - Chesapeake, VA
Serving Chesapeake, Norfolk, VA Beach

Way too funny!  Makes you wonder why folks don't just PROOFREAD!

Dec 12, 2010 12:23 AM
Menlo Park Real Estate and Homes for Sale
Wende Schoof - Menlo Park, CA
WendeByTheBay.com - 650.504.0219 - SF Peninsula

Gwen, another great collection of MLS funnies!  Thanks for sharing!

Dec 13, 2010 06:06 AM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

Santa is coming early this year, I saw MLS remarks....sled in yard (we have no snow so I'm hoping it is a shed)

Dick Beals

Dec 14, 2010 06:39 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

I wonder if there were any reindeer prints and picket signs nearby, Dick. I heard they were refusing to fly until they get a raise and a benefit package...

Dec 14, 2010 07:03 AM
Patricia Chavez
Keller Williams Heritage - KW Commercial - San Antonio, TX
CCIM, ABR, MRP

Too Funny!  We have the same boneheads at Happy Hour here in San Antonio! =)

Dec 15, 2010 08:53 AM
Ginger Harper
Coldwell Banker Sea Coast Advantage~ Ginger Harper Real Estate Team - Southport, NC
Your Southport~Oak Island Agent~Brunswick County!

Too funny...I will start to look more closely..

Ginger

Dec 15, 2010 12:47 PM
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

 ROTFL

Just what I needed on a rather quiet Thursday afternoon.  I see stuff like this every time I surf the MLS (I'm not on it everyday like you real estate folks); I really need to remember to send them to you when I see them.  But then again, you're probably already on CARETS.

Dec 16, 2010 08:28 AM