How many times have you had the experience of talking to someone and thought - "this person is not listening to me" or "this is B.S". or "it's all about them?"

Last night I read Broker Bryant's post So, what do you do to justify your high commission?

It set me to thinking about an experience I had several years ago with a Realtor. We had put our home on the market and had decided to interview an agent whose sign was everywhere in our neighborhood. I'll call him Dan.

Dan had a great presentation. So good, that we decided to accept his commission of 7%. However, it wasn't too long before it became more and more obvious, that Dan wasn't listening to us and our needs. The really big mistake was - he wasn't listening to my wife's needs.

Our situation changed and we pulled the house off the market. A year later we put it back on the market. And we went back to Dan as he still seemed to be the most active agent in our neighborhood and he is a nice guy. But again, after a short time, we became upset with Dan's inability to listen to our needs.

As I think about it, there was also a lack of weekly communication. Anyway, eventually we grew aggravated enough to  part ways with Dan. It was a shame because Dan is a nice guy. But Dan could not REALLY listen to us, the clients, and understand our needs. I think the reason for this was - our needs seemed trivial or insignificant to Dan. In the big scheme of things, they were little things. But to us, they were important. In fact, so important that they cost Dan his side (4%) of $450K.

You hear stories like this all the time. Why? Because some people just don't get that it's about the client not you and your greatness. AND it should never be - Business as Usual. People don't want to be ordinary. Their situation is important to them. Even if you have seen similar stuations a thousand times, to the client it's Up close and Personal.

If you ever study depth-psychology, you learn that one of the greatest yearnings within a human being is to be seen, to be recognized and appreciated for their uniqueness. This need is so great that some people, like Dan, are so busy with their need that they can't really stop and listen to others. While they're talking to you, their mind is an hour into the future on their next appointment. 

Bryant makes a very good point - you justify (earn) your commission not only from your professional skills and knowledge, but more importantly through your capacities as a human being. Reflect on the times you felt like someone was really listening to you, really getting it and personally interested in you - not your money, business or body.

Is your life oversaturated with experiences like that?

Don't be a Quack - get real.