With a nod to eHow.com I am going to share with my fellow Californians how to build an ark. The canoes are not working.
You will need a substantial amount of gopher wood. If that is not available then there is plenty of cypress around. This is good for its rot-resistance.
Since you are going to have to start organizing your animals into pairs, get the pack ones sorted out first. They can bring in the gopher wood. Elephants, asses (I mean the 4-legged ones), oxen would be a good start.
Build your framework. The dimensions should be something like 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, 30 cubits high. I am not sure how you are going to fit 10 million animals into that, but go figure.
Make sure that when attaching the planking to the outside you leave room for a door. How are you going to get the animals in otherwise?
Divide the ark into three levels and then add rooms to each level. Keep the staff separate from the animals and secure the galley to prevent animals stealing more than their fair share.
Make sure the ark is well sealed with pitch. It is going to have to withstand 40 days and 40 nights of rain and about 7 months stuck at the top of Magic Mountain Mt. Whitney.
Safety Instructions:
Wait for the ark to come to a complete stop. Open window and send out a raven to reconnoiter. If the news is bad, wait a few days and send out a dove. Repeat until one of them comes back with a twig in its mouth.
Once Arnold gives the word you may safely disembARK. Be sure to release the wild animals first. It would be a shame to have survived the deluge only to end up being eaten.
Comments(78)