Social Media Is A Cocktail Party for Real Estate

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Fathom Realty

Social Media Is A Cocktail Party for Real EstateI just finished reading an amazing book by Jim Tobin titled, “Social Media is A Cocktail Party, Why You Already Know The Rules of Social Media Marketing.” I’ve heard the phrase used often – but the basic principals in the book blew me away!  I highly recommend it.

Here are the Rules of a Cocktail Party that Jim lay’s out in the Book – and my notes about how these apply specifically to those of us in the Real Estate Industry:

1.The Party Goes On With or Without You. People are already talking about you and your company online.  They are “grading you” on Yelp and Zillow, and they are telling their friends that you did a GREAT job… or never updated them.  You should know, and monitor what’s being said about you online.

2.  When you get to a Party Mingle and Listen before you Talk. Would you walk up to someone at a Cocktail Party and start screaming at them, “HEY!DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BUY A 3 BDRM FIXER UPPER THAT NEEDS SOME TLC?  DON’T YOU HAVE A FRIEND OR A RELATIVE THAT NEEDS TO BUY THIS HOUSE??”  Of course not.  But that’s EXACTLY what you are doing when you are simply going online to “slap up a listing.”  There’s MORE to a conversation than your listing!  Quit Spamming People!

3. Keep The Conversation Thread Going Naturally Go back and re-read my comments about number 2.  Don’t be RUDE!  Don’t SPAM people!

4.  The Setting Matters Just like a New Year’s Eve Party is different from a 5 year old’s birthday party – the different Social Media Platforms you interact on are different too!  So many agents just want to get online and post one message 15 different places!  That’s NOT being part of a conversation.  The people who are connected to you on Facebook are likely different than the ones connected to you on LinkedIn.  Your message should be different too!

5.  It’s Not All About YOU I don’t even need to add anything to that!

6.  Don’t Be Slick, People Can Smell Fake Let’s say people read about 20 pages you’ve posted about moving to a certain Remember Not To Act Like The Drunk!area.  You talk about the restaurants you like, where kids can play ice hockey, the local museums… but let’s assume that you use a copy writer or you just spin information from other people… do you think they are going to LIKE YOU when they meet you?  No.  Everyone has their own “voice” online, a style, a way in which you talk and communicate information.  If it’s NOT you, they will know.

7.  Share Information That Doesn’t Benefit You Again, think about being at a Cocktail Party.  Do you ONLY talk about Real Estate, the Real Estate Market, the Benefits of Short Sales, 5 Ways to Avoid Foreclosure?  NO!  You don’t want to do that in your online discussions either.

8.  It’s Appreciated when You Share What You Know In Context I think we got this one – it’s figuring out the CONTEXT.  Real Estate Agents tell EVERYONE about Real Estate 24/7

9.  You Can Ask Something of A friend that you Can’t Ask Of Someone You Don’t Know The goal on Twitter, and LinkedIn and Facebook and Yelp (and fill in the blank) is to engage people.  Show them that they can Trust You, that you know the area, the market, how to negotiate.  After you have people engaging in your conversations, and following you, it’s much more natural to ask them to “give you a nod” and refer people to you.

10.  If people like you, and need what you do, they want to work with you. Keeping your status updated, connecting with your old High School friends, commenting on interesting posts on Activerain takes time.  Making Friends takes effort, keeping relationships going takes commitment and effort too.  But this is how you build your online reputation – and your business.

There’s SO MUCH good, solid information in this book!  I hope you will buy it, read it, share it with your referral partners, develop your own plan and get started! Real Estate Agents get caught up in the Technical Terms of Social Media – but really – all you need to remember is that it’s SOCIAL.

If you have questions about building your real estate blog as you build your real estate business, give me a call!   Josh Harley, Fathom Realty, 214-228-0301. I’d love to help you, and learn more about what’s working in your market! Are you on Facebook and Twitter?  Let’s Connect!

Originally Posted at

Posted by

Josh Harley is the Founder and CEO of Fathom Realty. Josh is a serial entrepreneur, tech geek, innovator, disruptor, marketer, teacher, artist, U.S. Marine, and an Alaska-raised sweet tea fiend.

As the CEO of Fathom Realty, Josh helped earn Fathom a prestigious place on the Inc. 500 list of Fastest Growing Companies in the U.S. … not once, but three times in a row. Josh also made the Swanepoel Power 200 list of Trendsetters for 2017.

Inc 500


Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Bill Foxworthy, Jill Turner 12/24/2010 02:18 AM
ActiveRain Community
Active Rain Book Group
The Lounge at Active Rain
Diary of a Realtor
31 Days of December Challenge
book reviews
social networks
social media
social marketing
josh harley fathom realty
real estate blogging basics

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Jason M. Keith
WR Starkey Mortgage - Parker, CO
Lending in 5280

Joshua,  very good post thank you for sharing.  I'll be applying this to my blogs as I plan to get more involved in social media next year.

Dec 22, 2010 06:30 AM #1
Bob Jakowinicz
National Realty Centers Livonia--Bob Jakowinicz - Livonia, MI
Michigan Real Estate Agent-- MI RE Adventures

Joshua, nice post with some great thoughts!! Was looking to say which idea I liked the best but just can't pick, lol.  Well I have to say people pick up on being slick or get sick of hearing what someone does for a living 100 times a day.

Dec 22, 2010 06:31 AM #2
Eleanor Thorne
Equity Resources - Cary, NC
Equity Resources 919-649-5058

Josh!  Jim Tobin is a friend of mine here in Raleigh - it's a GREAT book, glad you enjoyed it! 

Dec 22, 2010 06:32 AM #3
Justin Dibbs
Pearson Smith Realty - Ashburn, VA
REALTOR® - Ashburn Virginia Homes for Sale

So very true.  That was one of the first things I noticed when social media hit, people were treating each "party" as if it were the same.

Dec 22, 2010 06:52 AM #4
Randy Ostrander
Lake and Lodge Realty LLC - Big Rapids, MI
Real Estate Broker, Serving Big Rapids and West Central MI

Love the post and FaceBook. Not long ago I had sold a house for some great folks who were going to use me to buy their new house. Noticed on FB they were going to look at houses that weekend. I just mentioned for them not to forget me and we just closed on the house I showed them ala FaceBook. Like you said, someone is going to be helping them, might as well be me. lol.

Dec 22, 2010 06:55 AM #5
Janeil Lester
Old Republic Title - Plano, TX
Old Republic Title

Josh thanks for the great reminder. I talk to Realtors everyday about how they are using Social Media to expand their buisness-I will look for the book-appreciate the recomendation.

Dec 23, 2010 02:49 AM #6
Dave Leiderman
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Ocean City, MD
ABR, SFR - Realtor - DE & MD Beaches

Great post.  I try my best to be honest, helpful and above all else, a source of information.  I'm not sure how much, if any, business I receive from LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook.  Whatever the medium, I try to keep the principles you mentioned in mind.  Sounds like a good read.  Perhaps I'll treat myself to it for Christmas.  Happy holidays!

Dec 23, 2010 06:07 AM #7
Vanna Siackhasone
Real Estate Brokers of Alaska 907-720-4663 - Anchorage, AK
Anchorage Real Estate 907-720-4663

Great information! Thank you! I'll have to remember to stop spamming my friends on facebook. =)

Dec 23, 2010 06:16 AM #8
Nancy Conner
Managing Broker - City Realty Inc - Olympia, WA
Olympia/Thurston County WA

Some excellent points!  And good reminders to make sure we don't become that person that nobody wants to invite to the party.

Dec 23, 2010 06:26 AM #9
Karen Seeman
Exit on the Hudson Realty - Tenafly, NJ
CDPE, (201) 247-0556, bergencountyhomes4sale.c

Uh Oh...I'd better brush up on my cocktail party skills.  I try to be online the same way I enjoy others being online.  For instance your post is educational and entertaining.  That's why I really enjoy what you have to say.  Oh no, there's another thing I've got to work on....the funny bone.  Your layouts are always perfect and magazine style.  You can teach me anything techno any time.  Thank you sen-sei

Dec 23, 2010 08:26 AM #10
Andrea Merriott
PalmerHouse Properties - Smyrna, GA

Great tips on how to build SM credibility. I, especially love the title.  Thanks for the post.

Happy Holidays

Dec 23, 2010 11:31 AM #11
Eric Anderson
Prudential PenFed Realty (Fayetteville) - Fayetteville, NC
Fort Bragg Military Relocation Services, Fayetteville, NC Realtor

Joshua, great post.  I would add a subtitle, "The 10 Rules of Blogging"..  All bloggers, both experienced and new should follow those rules...

Dec 23, 2010 02:54 PM #12
Chris Olsen
Olsen Ziegler Realty - Cleveland, OH
Broker Owner Cleveland Ohio Real Estate

Hi Josh -- There is so much to learn about online social networks, blogging, let alone all the tools for productivity as time management can be a huge issue if not done well and with some planning.

Dec 23, 2010 03:38 PM #13
John Marshall - FORE!
The K Company Realty - Cherry Hills Village, CO
Specializing in Golf Course Properties

Josh, great information, thanks for sharing- I will definitely add this book to my wish list

Dec 24, 2010 01:19 AM #14
Bill Foxworthy, Jill Turner
Carpenter Northeast - Indianapolis, IN
Real Estate - Indianapolis, Fishers, Carmel


After reading this great information the first thing I did was to benchmark this post so I could refer to it for future reference.  Thanks for sharing and have a great holiday season.



Dec 24, 2010 02:13 AM #15
Rich Gaasenbeek
IXACT Contact Real Estate CRM - Toronto, ON
Real Estate CRM & Marketing Made Easy!

I love book summaries, and this one is right on.  Thanks Josh, and Happy Holidays!

Rich Gaasenbeek, IXACT Contact, The Easy Way to Manage Your Contacts

Dec 24, 2010 04:10 AM #16
Kathy Schowe
California Lifestyle Realty - La Quinta, CA
La Quinta, California 760-333-8886

Good points about using Social Media without annoying or alienationg people.  I'm going to pick up this book right away!  Thanks, and Happy Holidays!  Kathy

Dec 24, 2010 06:05 AM #17
Dan and Amy Schuman
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Solon, OH
Luxury Home Specialists

Josh, you've provided some great information here and we certainly appreciate it. In regards to #5 above, concentrating on "them" and helping others is a good rule to live by in any setting. Happy Holidays.

Dec 24, 2010 07:58 AM #18
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?


Joshua Harley

CEO, Tech Geek, Innovator, Disruptor, US Marine
Ask me a question
Spam prevention

Additional Information