Self Criticism does not help you Succeed

"Are you treating yourself as you were treated by others? Do you punish yourself far more than anyone would ever punish you?

How have people treated you in the past?

Have you ever noticed that you treat yourself the same way?

Unless everyone has always treated you with respect and kindness, you might criticize yourself from time to time. And self-criticism or self-invalidation, ruins your success.

Negative Thoughts

At some point, you may have accepted these ideas to be true.

"If I cut myself down before anyone else cuts me down, I win!"

"I respect Joe's opinion. Joe thinks I'm an idiot. So I must be an idiot."

"If I punish myself, maybe others will leave me alone."

"I've heard it's sinful to like myself, so I'd better hate myself."

"No one knows my deep, dark secret: I'm actually a bad person."

Of course, all of these ideas are nonsense.

Good Thoughts

To succeed, you need to treat yourself with respect and admiration. To succeed, you need a high opinion of yourself. You need to remember that you are a good person.


Three Tips for Improving Your Success

1. Every time you criticize yourself about something, add a solution. Decide on a way to fix the weakness. Focus on improvement instead of problems.

For example, "I'm so stupid! Why didn't I ask him about his other company when I had the chance? No wonder I'm such a loser . . . wait, how can I fix this? From now on, I'm taking five minutes before each important meeting and writing a list of things to do so I don't mess up again. Great idea!"

2. Write down things about yourself of which you are proud. If necessary, start with small things, such as good personal habits. Keep writing until you improve your opinion.

For example, "I might be fat, but I brush my teeth regularly. I'm eating more vegetables these days. I haven't gotten angry at my kids for a month. I'm earning more money this year. I'm helping Joe with his drinking problem . . . ."

You are great - the only thing that is wrong with you is the things you are saying to yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you won't who will?