I had the worst experience in my life last week. I lost my older brother, he left to a better place where there is no sickness, and money has no value. I wanted to share my experience with you, because I feel there was a lesson to be learned. How bad is to learn the lesson or listen when it's too late? It is really bad.
My brother was born again Christian which is not what we were brought up to be Catholics. Of course me? I drifted away from the church a long time ago. However the teaching of the church never left my soul, or my mind for a second. I used to hate to hear my brother say Jesus loves you and he died on the cross for you, let me save you. And I though to my self Oh Please! Get a life! I never wanted to hear him out! I sat down he talked and I was thinking about shopping, and food, my mind was everywhere and never with him.
Last week as I stood by his coffin saying my goodbyes I felt that I was the loser. He had a very peaceful face with a beautiful smile on it. He laid there knowing he is where Jesus promised him to be. We were at the funeral home picking the casket, and discussing the details. It was really depressing to go through this experience, but here is what I learned.
1. Nice funeral will cost you about $15000 dollars, do you have an insurance, or money put a side for this unpleasant event? and boy do I have to say how fantastic of a job the funeral home did. They hired the cops to block intersections and direct traffic, they took care of all the details from A-Z they were very professional, and respectful, but to all of you sales people out there! I was guilty of my nature, I tried to negotiate the price, the funeral director gently looked at me and said no firm, and kind no. I was impressed. But I couldn't help not to say is this the best you can do?
2. Family is your rock. With disregard to all of our differences, and competition, my family flew from all over, and called to be with us in time of need. It is amazing to know how much this rock means to us in time of need!!!
3. No one is taking a penny with them! The experience is horrific, to see a lifeless body touching it, talking to it and realize that is it! God is your bigger Rock!
4. Living what you believe in is your rock. We showered my brother with material presents on every occasion we got him whatever thought it was new gadget, or something materialistic that we thought he might like! But what was amazing he took it, said thank you and never even took the tag off it, or used it! He gave up his desire to all materialistic things, he had the bible in his hand and that all that mattered to him! That is powerful!
5. I realized that some times we have people who touched our souls. They are alive, but we act like they are dead because of our differences we cut them out! and at this point they become dead!
one of the things that I found comfort in last week and it was amazing to know that when you know someone they might leave your presence but they will never leave your heart! the essence of the soul lingers. It cannot escape your heart, for it has been there forever.
6. Please know that God will take care of you "For he has said I will never leave you or forsake you." Hebrews 13:5(nrsv)
7. One last thing, The lesson of the month. This message came to me in two different books I was reading in October, then early November When Eddie Passed away the Priest said this, " Life is full of suffering, you can't come to God without your suffering, what you must do is Deni yourself, Carry your Cross, and follow Jesues"
Osho said the same thing, he dosen't believe in Jesus, but what he said to me last month that dening yourself the pleasure, and suffer is the way to heaven"! Don't ask me why? But that is the lesson that I wanted to share with all of you. I am searching for the answer! I want to know why we must suffer? I want to know why did God chose to have his only son die on the cross for our sake? He is God wasn't there another way? is that why we must suffer? I know on basic things such as working hard to earn something feels much better than having it handed to you. I had this experience and I won't trade it! but I don't like this fact! I don't like the voilenance, I dont' like the killing, the sickness, and the emotional and the physical suffering! Why?
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