It’s funny when I look back at the person I was and the person I’ve become and still ‘becoming’ in my life’s journey. I cannot believe some of the thoughts and the lack of confidence that I had. I know some friends, relatives and even some clients would not believe that I was a skinny, insecure and emotionally beaten young man. I did hide it behind an aura of cockiness and some might even say arrogance.
What it came down to was a ‘confidence thing’ I thought I had a ton of it, but as I entered the real estate business in 1998 there was a wakeup call. I reverted back to the insecure person I mentioned before. I was about to quit, when a chance encounter while I was bartending (my second job) took place. A regular customer; Jim a very successful local entrepreneur came in and noticed there was something off with me. We spoke for a bit, he finished his glass Glenfiddich on the rocks, told me to ‘hang in there’ and bid me a farewell.
A week later; Jim returned ordered his ‘usual’ and slid a book across the to me. I remember I went to reach for it and he kept his hand on it and said it was mine to read as long as I read it on a yearly basis. I agreed.
The book was The Magic of Thinking Big, by the late great Dr. David J. Schwartz. I rank the book up there with Think and Grow Rich, Andy Andrews’s books and also all of the ‘Purple’ books out there by Kiyosaki for keeping your mind on the right track.
Dr. Schwartz dedicates a whole chapter to ‘Building Confidence and Destroying Fear’. When I find myself in difficult situations and I want to go back and turtle up and this chapter alone helps me to ‘right the ship’. Dr. Schwartz has 5 tips:
1. Be a front seater: Whenever you go places, sit in the front. It will get you used to have the feeling of people’s eyes on you (even though they probably are not) and you WILL absorb the subject better. Although I do not recommend for movie theatres, this can be bad for the neck J
2. Always make eye contact: People will think you are hiding something if you don’t
3. Walk 25% faster: I know this sounds weird, but when you do, you walk taller and breathe better. More energy!
4. Practice speaking up: Be a conversation starter, or add a valid point to an ongoing conversation. Stay humble and do not try to divert to a subject of your interest.
5. Smile BIG!: Try to feel defeated and genuinely smile. I don’t think you can. I agree with Dr. Schwartz that smiling is excellent medicine for confidence deficiency.
I would recommend this read and add it to your library. I do read it on a yearly basis. And keep it on my desk for quick reference when needed. My friend Jim has passed on and when I read the book, I think of him smile and say a silent thank you.
Here’s to your success!