If you're going to feel guilty and pay your mortgage....

Dear Mr and Mrs Seller,

If you're going to feel guilty and keep paying your mortgage, I might not be able to help you short sell your home.

Why not?

A synonym for short sale is HARDSHIP. If you have the ability to pay, as evidenced by you writing the bank a solid check month after month, then your hardship will not be apparent to the bank. Most banks and investors have guidelines which stipulate that  in order to qualify for a short sale,  there must be hardship situation.

I applaud your sense of responsibility, and I know you are trying to do the right thing. Chances are, you are eating into your savings by keeping up with your mortgage, or will be in the near future. Unfortunately, the banks don't care. In their world, you don't get extra points for being responsible, honest, or a good person. Make no mistake, they are in charge here.

You probably feel pride because you've worked so hard to keep excellent credit, and you dread the day it plummets. With a short sale it will, but usually not nearly as deeply as it would with a foreclosure. And guess what, if your agent works hard to get all the approvals, then you start feeling guilty and decide to make another payment, your short sale will most likely be denied, and you will probably lose your buyer. After going through a few buyers, many banks are much more likely to foreclose.

I know that this is a totally painful process, and I am truly sorry for your loss. But once you decide to do a short sale, please, be as fully committed as you were when you originally purchased your home. You may not like the games banks play, but they are a reality. And there are a lot of other people's lives and time and energy involved here, too, like both agents, the escrow officer who (for free) drafts HUD after HUD, the title company, the HOA, oh, and yes, your very faithful, loyal buyers. Believe me, you don't want to lose them.

So check with your bank first. Ask them a very direct question: "Do I have to stop making payments in order for you to consider me for a loan mod and/or short sale?  Make them answer you. Once you have their answer, you can decide the best course of action.

If you are in a financial bind and know that you cannot keep going on like this, take your short sale seriously and start crossing that bridge. Quit looking in the rear view mirror, and from this moment on, focus forward. There is a bright future ahead for you.