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Nature or Nurtureis a question that can be applied to every behaviour including lateness. It seems to be affecting more and more people every day. Children of parents who are always late, seem to follow in their footsteps, thinking that is the way of the world. (It is not!)
People who arrive contstantly late always try to make a grande entrance and want all the attention drawn to them whilst they share their elaborate tale - All you can think is, "What's that smell? What's burning?"
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151 Comments on LIARS ARE ALWAYS LATE!
Fernando - we are most like the 3 people we spend the most time with! Good for you :)
Bryant - I have the 15 minute rule too. The late arriver has the responsibility to rebook with me.
Brian - so true. In my circle, there are consquences :0)
Jacquie - there is a correlation - thank you!
Jim - LOL I also come from a family of 7 children and there was no way lateness was tolerated. You were shown up close and personal, the effect your lateness had on all the others. :)
Aaron - a head's up is always appreciated.
Barbara - you nailed it! Gotta love my devices for those occasions.
Lorraine - the 15 minute rule does work and it allows people to understand that there are consequences to their actions.
Inna - "To turn punctuality into a moral issue is a bit offensive".
Really? I am proud to be a woman of my word. When I agree to meet someone at a certain time or place, is it wrong to expect them to honour their commitment to me, to others who may be present? If they don't honour that, what else do they let slide? What else is not important to them? I find myself questioning their integrity. Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
You say "At the end of the day, is it really that important that someone wasn't there at the precise moment you wanted them to be?"
The short answer is YES but more importantly, THEY need to be there when THEY agreed to be. I'm very flexible and I will be available when it is convenient for the other person. So yes, it becomes a moral issue when they can no longer be trusted.
Liz - sounds like your family member does CHOOSE to be late for family gatherings.
Susan - ouch. Thanks for the chiding. I am, as mentioned, almost always late, and yet I can't think of one person who knows me who doesn't trust me, including people on AR (i have quite a few clients here). There is just a tad too much self-righteous indignation in this post, and that, I distrust, instinctively, if you will, more than I would someone who simply shows up late.
Inna - and that's the beauty of AR. Lots of people with lots of ideas and opinions! Thanks for yours.
Susan - I agree. Showing up on time shows a great sense of respect. "If you're not 10 minutes early, you're late!"
Thanks Collin - seems like there are many people who agree with us! R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Hi Susan,
I do get the point, but I also do find any time I have a meeting with more than two people travelling separately someone is always a little late. So, I've made my peace with it. If it's driving you nuts and it keeps happening you probably need to make your peace with it as well. I have also been equally annoyed at people who arrive excessively early for appointments. But I have also made my peace with that.
As I stated, I recognize that I am in the minority on this. I like to be on time too, but many people view an appointment time as a goal not a rule. LOL. I would also stop short of making a moral judgment about a habitually late person. I had a close friend who was always late, I told her about how much it annoyed me. She thought about it for a couple months and realized she had developed the habit because her family was always late to everything and she got sick of sitting around waiting on them. So, she was merely a closeted "on time" person! LOL. She also got better. Was she a liar? Absolutely not. Some people are always late because they can't say no to the phone ringing. Are they liars? Absolutely not.
And some people are just plain ole busy. I have clients that run their own business, have small children, etc. and they get small emergencies all the time and on occasion I do too. As long as everyone is making an effort to be considerate and things don't get too far out of hand I can roll with it. If I've driven 30 minutes for a meeting I'm not going to leave because someone is 15 minutes late unless it will cause me to be late to another meeting. I'm not leaving just to teach somebody a lesson about lateness -- we're all adults here - most chronically late people know by the age of 20 that this world is not applauding being late and they have already suffered consequences for it. It's not my job to remodel adults about being late.
Inna makes an important point too there are different kinds of people in this world and not all are going to be sticklers about time. I find that the people who are sticklers also tend to have rules that they don't work after 5:30pm, they have to eat their lunch at precisely noon, and if something unexpected happens they can't always deal with it because it interferes with their "plan" -- that's fine because the world needs that type of person as well. Your basic point I think is correct, being late can be rude, inconvenient, and inconsiderate - but not to everyone, always, and in every situation.
Tni
Tni - so well said.:-)
Hi Tni - thanks for taking the time to respond again. Your opinion is valued as is everyone elses. It is still my opinion that when people are HABITUALLY LATE, they are liars in that they are not being honest with themselves nor us. When they continually arrive with a big grin on their face and say "sorry I'm late", I can't believe that they are sorry at all. Some have no intention of showing up on time when the appointment is made and most feel that whatever they got caught up doing, is more important to them, as in your example of answering the phone. Obviously there will be exceptions.
It has been my experience that people who are habitually late are pretty darn good at being on time for their own personal interests ie catching planes, stopping work, spinning class :0) That's the puzzling part of it.
Very little actually stresses me and I have no desire to control people or teach people lessons. What they do in their own lives is up to them; except when they attempt to manipulate my time. I have a 15 minute rule in place to control my own schedule and to ensure I'm not late for my next appointment. I am nothing without my word. As a small business owner I have to be accountable for my own time and respect that of others. If my first appt of the day is late, it makes me play catch up or be late myself for the rest of the day. Thank goodness my clients are very respectful of my time and their own. Now if only I could say the same about Realtors!
As I commented to Inna, it is fun to see the different views and opinions of people here in the Rain. We'll not ever get almost 200,000 people to agree on everything and that's the beauty of AR. Thanks for commenting again.
Susan- It's been six weeks since you posted this and I have been thinking of you quite often. I have never gotten up enough nerve to bring up this post to my Rotary friend but after today I think I will. I was at a networking lunch today and a lady asked if the two seats next to me were saved. I said no and the lady sat down down two seats to my left. Well the speaker for this event got the lunch meeting under way and the ladies friend had still not arrived. Numerous people who needed a seat and were on time were told by this lady that the seat was saved. I was getting irritatated by the minute saying to myself I can wait to share this with Susan. Done venting, thanks for reading.
Joe - that is too funny! I think you need to give it out to more than the one person :0) I really appreciate you coming back and sharing this!
I wrote my post tonight on what happened after the tardy partner. I think you will enjoy it.
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