I got this from HomeChek, a home inspection company that sends out newsletters for us to share. I thought this was some good advice to an question that all of us have probably thought at one time or another.
Q. What is up with the increasing rudeness in the workplace, and how do I get people I deal with to quit treating me like an object rather than a human being?
A. What's up with increasing rudeness is that most people are about one inch from hysterical most of the time these days. When our brains are flooded by anxiety, most of us deteriorate to reacting from our primitive brain ... and the way we react is more reptile than civil.
Add rising divorce rates and health challenges, and throw in in-laws or teenagers, and you can see why so many people attack first and ask questions later.
The place you have leverage, since you can't hand everyone a calm life, is to make sure that if people are acting badly, one of them isn't you. When coworkers are ranting, don't defend, don't counterattack, instead repeat back what they are saying until they calm down or run out of steam.
When people throw a power struggle, and send you an RSVP, don't react. Take a deep breath, let your coworkers be right, and focus instead on what they want and what you want rather than defending yourself.
In general, anytime you find yourself defending yourself, stop! No one is listening, and the more you talk, the guiltier you look. When coworkers blame you, simply say, "You may be right, and what do you want me to do right now?" By requiring people around you to quit whining and start problem solving, you'll spend less time listening to blame from others.
Lastly, realize that we have a cultural crisis of narcissism. People can see what they want, but they can't see how they affect you. Until we develop a magic wand to transform our workplace into empathic environments, appeal to your coworkers' needs, if you want a kinder, gentler workplace for yourself.
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