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Reflections from the Back Porch, Friday, Nov. 17, 2006

Again on my back porch, this very-early morning, savoring my mug of hot, this time Guatemalan-fair trade-organically grown-coffee, and savoring the day that would soon dawn. As our loyal readership may have noted, we submitted no post (comments—yes) for your consideration on Thursday the 16^th—it was kind of nice taking a day off.

I received a new phone book the other day, one of several I receive each year. It’s still on my front porch. It’s still in the plastic bag. It hasn’t moved in three days. It’s not likely to. The last one arrived in July. After a week or so, I brought it in the house. My back hurt for a week!

That book, the one I brought in the house, not the one still in its plastic bag, and still on the porch, weighs about ten pounds, and is printed in about 6pt font, is impossible for me to read without some form of magnifying device. I don’t use the phone books, they’re huge, heavy, take up way too much room, and by the time they arrive—outdated.

I called Qwest. I wanted to opt out of receiving the books. The helpful person there told me they were FREE, and part of their service to customers, and that I couldn’t opt out. Besides, the “helpful person” told me, that book wasn’t theirs—it was from a competitor. I called the competitor and never got past the: “Your call is important to us…”

Deciding to at least purge my house of all these unwanted FREE phone books, that had accumulated over the past couple of years (Medford & Jay’s Truism #29: “That which enters a home doesn’t always leave, it merely filters down to the basement.”). After several hours of back-breaking work, every one of the books, including the most recent one, never opened, were neatly stacked at curbside for recycle pick-up.

Later the same day, I heard the recycler’s truck outside. “They’re gone!” I thought, “This is great—I’ve gained a whole closet’s worth of space for better purposes!”

I looked outside—and my bins were empty. I went to the curb to pick up the empty bins, and there I found, in the bottom of one of the bins, a yellow piece of paper. It looked suspiciously like a page from a phone book. On that page, scrawled in magic marker, was the following: “JAY, ONE AT A TIME, MY BACK’S GOING TO HURT FOR A WEEK. TOMMY” (I know my recycle driver—codgers make it their business to know their service people). Lesson learned. As I was bringing the bins back to the house, I couldn’t help but notice another plastic bag, on my porch, with something very large in it…

Jay Merton

Posted by Jay Merton & Medford Ambrose, the Codgers on 11/17/2006 04:49 AM

Comments (15)

old men coffee shops, blogs, blogging, random thoughts on a friday, humor

15 Comments on Reflections from the Back Porch, Friday, Nov. 17, 2006

The good thing about not having a land line is that they don't drop off phone books. We haven't had a land line for more than 6 years.

11/17/2006 05:47 AM

by Maureen Francis & Dmitry Koublitsky, SKBK Sotheby's - Metro Detroit (SKBK Sotheby's International Realty)

Here it doesn't really matter--everyone gets a book.

11/17/2006 06:03 AM

by Jay Merton & Medford Ambrose, the Codgers (Retired Handymen)

The dreaded phone book. Talk about someting that should be obsolete. THey do make pretty good fire logs BTW.

11/17/2006 08:06 AM

by Bryant Tutas-Tutas Towne Realty, Inc

My parents have at least 6 years worth of phone books. I ask them why they keep them, and they say "they're just nice to have around."

11/17/2006 08:11 AM

by Lisa Dunn www.TwinCitySeller.com (Edina Realty)

they make good booster chairs for kids... or they did....probably not safe and there are such things manufactured relatively inexpensively now..

11/17/2006 11:03 AM

by Maureen McCabe - Central Ohio real estate (Real Living HER)

I use the phone books for pressing flowers!

11/17/2006 11:12 AM

by Bonnie Erickson (The Realty Matrix)

Since the internet has pretty much outdated the "Yellow" books- they now make great reading material for punished youngsters.

11/17/2006 11:34 AM

by Mariana Wagner ~ Colorado Springs REALTOR® (Wagner iTeam -Keller Williams Clients' Choice)

I find it easier to look up numbers on the internet!

11/17/2006 02:18 PM

by Jamie Ramos- New Haven Connecticut Real Estate Agent (Real Living Now)

The very people who might actually need a phone book, the elderly (other than myself or the techno-geezer, Medford), would have difficulty reading the white pages. We receive books from both Qwest & Yellow Book (MacLeod, I think) at least twice a year each. Maybe they might be dipped in some kind of acryllic and turned into a brick0like building material.

Jay

11/17/2006 02:32 PM

by Jay Merton & Medford Ambrose, the Codgers (Retired Handymen)

You ever see those even smaller phone books? A lot lighter but virtually impossible to read the print. Guess you can't blame 'em for fighting the valiant fight! Can you imagine how much money they spend making books that no one uses anymore? Besides manufacturing and printing costs, they even pay people to distribute the ones that Jay keeps finding on his porch! I agree with Jamie - the internet white and yellow pages are the way to go.....

11/17/2006 04:59 PM

by Deb Salkeld- - Your Real Estate Virtual Assistant (Diversified Data Solutions, L.L.C.)

That's pretty funny! I share your disdain for those big, space-consuming books...I never use them either - the computer is my method of choice to locate phone numbers or services.

I also agree that it's nice to take a 'day off' from blogging and commenting every once in a while. Don't get me wrong - I love reading other's thoughts and ideas and 'putting in my two cents worth', but this does get time-consuming (and a little 'addicting' too!).

I might just take tomorrow off and sit on my back patio drinking coffee and communing with nature!

11/17/2006 08:28 PM

by Val Allocco, HSE; ASHSR - Home Stager for Manhattan, Brooklyn & Long Island (Staged 2 Sell New York & Long Island)

First the printers printed MLS books. Then the MLS books went away. So now they have to print phone books. Then the phone books go away. So then the printers re-tool their factory and start churning out buggy whips.........

11/18/2006 09:35 AM

by Tony Marriott, Associate Broker, CRP, CLHMS, CRB, CRS ~~ Phoenix Arizona (Keller Williams Realty Professional Partners)

I use then for the kids to sit on at the table.

11/18/2006 12:30 PM

by Rob Wills (Gilpin Realty Inc.)

I loved "Truism #29: "That which enters a home doesn't always leave, it merely filters down to the basement." Sadly, I don't have a basement. My stuff migrates to the garage. Gotta work on that!

04/21/2007 06:17 AM

by Sarah Cooper (Real Estate Shows)

Sarah: You'll be keeping my busy today, I see. ;-)

Jay

04/21/2007 07:04 AM

by Jay Merton & Medford Ambrose, the Codgers (Retired Handymen)