Homeownership provides a huge sense of PRIDE to the people who achieve it. Most people define themselves by where they live and what they live in. It is the American Dream! It says to the world, "I did it!" It is a public display of success.
12 years ago, I did my first short sale. Back then, the seller and I cried together as she told me her story. She was beyond pride, beyond shame; she was broken and I was hoping to help. At the time I had NO IDEA what I was doing and literally made every mistake you can imagine before we finally got it right.
Today, 70%+ of my business is short sales. In the spread of years between my first and this morning, things have changed A LOT. I've created a system, banks have created (and re-created) a system and the sellers have gotten more poker-faced and less open.
More and more, I am sitting before sellers that won't willingly tell their story for a short sale. They think that the letter from the bank saying its an option is enough. I used to be angered and annoyed by what I thought was smug-ness. But I am learning that, for the most part, this is not because they are taking the whole situation in stride, its because there is a voice in their head screaming one thing: "I AM A FAILURE". Usually, they won't say it outloud. It would become too real. Too shameful.
Those of us who work short sales regularly and have created a system have pretty much heard it all:
"I lost my job"; "he left"; "she's was on drugs"; "we need to leave the state to find work"; "we spent like drunk sailors on shore leave".....
But every seller feels that they have a situation that is uniquely their own and that somehow, even if they did everything just right; they have failed. Failed their family, failed themselves, failed the American Dream.
So what do you say to make a seller open up and tell you everything so you can help them?
This is what I say and it has given me huge results. Feel free to use it, change it, make it your own and take full credit for it.
"{Insert sellers name}, Bad things happen to good people. You are a very good person in a very bad situation. I want to help you get your life back. The only way that I can do that is if we leave pride and shame at the door and we work together to make this happen. I promise not to judge you. Even if you feel you did everything wrong and brought this on yourself; the bank doesn't care how it happened and neither do I. The important thing is that you are willing to work to make it right. Tell me the story of how things went from "I love this house and can't wait to buy it" to "this is the anchor around my neck and I am drowning." Together, we can work it out.....we have to start here."
Once you know the story, you can actually help. And that is the beginning....
Tune in next time for HARDSHIP LETTER; ARE TEAR STAINS NEEDED?
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