"It's The Relationship, Stupid!"

While I was writing the first draft of The Irreverent Guide, a had a wonderful writing coach named Jeff Stein.  He's a professional journalist and has two books already published and is working on a third now.  He was the perfect coach because he knew zip about real estate and lots about writing.

After he read my first few chapters, he suggested that I take a sticky note, write on it "IT'S THE RELATIONSHIP, STUPID!!!!" in big bold letters, and stick it to the top of my computer screen.   

Without knowing about our business, he put his finger right on the point of it all!  Whether I'm writing a book about real estate or meeting with a client, it's the relationship!  And not just between agent and client!

• If you have two people buying or selling a place, whether or not they are married, it's their relationship, complete with any unresolved control issues.
• It's the relationship I have with the listing agents whose properties we make offers on.
• It's the relationship the buyers and I have with the loan officer who prints the money they'll need to buy the place.
• If the buyers are going to The Bank of Mom & Dad for the down payment, that could be one huge relationship - with some very interesting strings attached to gift or loan.
• At some point, there will be a relationship between the buyers and sellers.
• And it's an important relationship between everyone and the title company.

Du-uh!

Getting any transaction to the settlement table involves carefully choreographed teamwork.  And whenever I get myself into a messy transaction, the first thing I have to ask myself is, "What can I do to help fix the relationships that are out of whack?" 

And if I can answer that, I get usually get through it!