IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT...

There has been an on going search for the Reala Stager, Craig Schiller's nose.  It seems it has turned up missing.  Active Rainers have been  looking for it from coast to coast.  It has been spotted in the North Pole, but after extensive questioning, Rudolf was proved innocent of nose thief.

Toby Boyce volunteered his red neck relatives who might be willing to provide a skin graft to Reala in lieu of a nose replacement, but Reala decided to contact some guy named Ron for make up tips instead.  Still hoping the attractive red bob of a nose will turn up.

Virtual Assistant Crystal Pena gave a clue to the cops that the nose might be hiding on top of a Friendly's sundae

Marc Blasi tried to send Reala Craig to an excellent plastic Sturgeon in Hells Canyon at the  Snake River.  As it turns out Marc should try using the spell checker before passing out referrals...good grief Marc ...it's surgeon not sturgeon!

Carole Cohen has graciously been spending her time stapling flyers to telephone poles...now she has progressed to gluing wanted posters to the side of milk cartons...what a girl!

John Novak, who thinks out of the left side of his enormous brain, suggested actually buying a nose...John have a heart!  You can't purchase such things!

Broker Byant admittedly "snagged" the red sucker, but apparently it rolled away, because shortly thereafter Jason (for a PRICE) drove over to Tutas Town to witness a game of Donkey LaCross in BB's back yard. 

Before Jason (the bounty hunter) Price was able to snack it back, a donkey with a mean kick sent it flying out of Tutus Town into the sunset, where Colleen Kulikowski, who is perpetually in paradise snapped a pic of it going over the horizon.

Mark (don't touch me)Flanders located it on the left coast.  He being concerned with well "where it's been".  Just took a step back...no kidding I would too.

After a useless trip to Charleston, the nose was reported to be hiding in MY TURF!  Outrageous!  My turf is professional, world class grade turf, born of the Mother Turf, the world's largest soccer complex.  Do you think MY groundskeepers would let a runny nose lay around?

After providing one falsely incriminating lead, Miss Frenchy, Teresa Boardman provides yet another...

No, the nose wasn't there either.

It gets worse folks, after weeks of being "under the weather," I get a knock on my door.  It's the cops looking for The Nose.

No, I didn't take it.  I truly have been sick.  It just looks like The Nose.

Well Craig, I have "contacts" you know, so I called them, trying to locate your Reala Nose.  My "contacts" have told me the charming red bob is in the United States Federal Witness Protection Program.  It seems The Nose has been sticking into places it shouldn't.  No it didn't do anything wrong, it just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  In order to protect The Nose,  it's identity has been changed. 

Do not look for it.  Do not attempt to find it.  The Nose wants to live out its life, not in fear, so please kiss it good bye.  It sends it's love....thanks for being a sport.

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