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How I Proposed to My Wife: 4 Important Lessons Learned for Real Estate

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President
With my 6th wedding anniversary coming up right around the corner this Sunday, I’ve been thinking about all things marriage this week (For a detailed account of the tumultuous days surrounding this great event less than 3 weeks after 9/11/01, read Where Were You on September 11th? (or how September 11th launched my real estate career) -- Part 2 of 2).

 

 

 Jason "The Loveseat" Crouch founded a wonderful new group here on Active Rain this week called Family Ties for family related stories (real estate related or not).  We were chatting on the phone on Monday evening on my way to pick up my sister at the airport and towards the end of the conversation got to talking about marriage and how we met our wives.  Then Jason asked me how I had proposed.  Just at that moment I received a text message that my sister had landed at Dulles Airport.  I told Jason that I had to go and that the engagement story was quite elaborate.  He suggested I blog about it for the new group, so voila! 

I decided that instead of just the personal story, I would tie it back in to the real estate practice.  Please read on.

 

 

 

 

Deborah and I met November 15, 1996, while I was still in law school at George Mason University (this was way before I became a Realtor).  She was thinking about attending the law school and had visited one day to tour around and meet some students and faculty.  One student invited her to a law school party for that weekend so that she could meet some other students. 

I happened to be at that party which was held in my apartment building a few floors up.  We got introduced and didn’t speak to anyone but each other for 3 hours.  At the end of the night, I got her phone number and called the next day.  The rest is history.

 It was time for me to buy the diamond ring.  I told Deborah that I was going up to NYC to visit the boys (my buddies from college) for a weekend.  This was true.  The part that I left out was that I was also taking a trip to the NY Diamond District to a diamond wholesaler who is an old friend of Deborah’s father from his foreign service days.  In early November, I went to her parent’s house (20 minutes away) and asked her father for Deborah’s hand in marriage and told him my whole elaborate plan, but swore him to secrecy.

Over the course of the previous 4 months, I created and wrote a 192 page book in a blank journal to be given to Deborah on our 4 year anniversary in November.  This book is a compilation of love poems, songs, collages, pictures, and descriptions and narratives from me about all the reasons that I love her.  To this day, it is one of our most cherished possessions.  I worked on it a little bit each week.

During the week leading up to our 4 year anniversary of dating, I told Deborah that I had planned a trip for us but did not tell her where.  She asked me if it would be warm or cold.  I kept mum.  She asked what she should pack.  I said don’t bother packing.

The night of November 15th, we went for dinner at the Mount Vernon Inn, 5 minutes away from her parents’ house where she was living.  We had a wonderful anniversary meal.  Towards the end of the meal, I pulled out her gift (the book).  She started to read it and told me that this was the most wonderful present that I could ever give her. 

Suddenly, I startled and surprised her when I told her to stop reading because she would have plenty of time to read it “tomorrow on the plane.”

“THE PLANE!!!??  Where are we going?”

That’s when I pulled out the tickets to Curacao.

“What’s Curacao?  Where are we going?  The Carribean!!  You’re kidding!”

 We quickly returned to her house, where despite my instructions, Deborah had packed a bag complete with bikinis and wool sweaters.  She rapidly unpacked the sweaters and we were off to my apartment for the night for a few hours of sleep before our early morning flight.  Meanwhile, I stowed the diamond ring safely in our videocamera bag so that it was out of sight, but within my reach during the entire flight.  During the plane ride, Deborah read with delight the entire 192 page book and I don’t think she stopped smiling the whole way despite our uncomfortable coach seats and the long flight.

 We arrived on the beautiful island of Curacao in the Netherland Antilles and drove to the hotel.  I was anxious to get on the beach before sunset to complete the marriage proposal in style.  She almost threw a kink in the plan by suggesting dinner, but I insisted we get in our suits and head out to the beach.  (Surprisingly she still had no idea what was coming next.)

 

 

 As we walked down the beach, Deborah said to me that I was really going all out for a 4 year anniversary.  That’s when I told her that there was another reason we were there and dropped to my knees on the beach and asked her to marry meShe immediately shouted YES! and started kissing me before I could even place the sparkling diamond ring on her finger.  

 

We spent a wonderful 5 days on the island, returned home and planned and prepared for the wedding 10 months later.

Thanks for reading this far.

 

Continue on for 4 Important Lessons for Real Estate:

 

1.  PLANNING:  I spent quite a few months planning this marriage proposal.  Between arranging flights and hotel, a covert mission to NYC to purchase the ring, sneaking down to her parent’s house to ask her father for permission, and writing a 192 page love tribute, this took time, planning and research.

In real estate, you need to plan, plan, plan.  As an entrepreneur, it is important to have a plan for your business.  You need to plan your marketing strategies, your prospecting, your listing appointments, etc.  When working with buyers or sellers, it is crucial to do your background homework and research to prepare for the meeting.  The more preparation you put in, the more polished and professional you will be when it is showtime with your clients.

 

 

 

 

 

2.  UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WANT:  I never had to ask my wife how she wanted me to propose.  Nor did we shop for rings together.  But over the years of dating, I picked up the cues.  Tropical beaches – check; platinum setting – check; get down on your knees to propose – you better believe it.

When working with clients, you need to establish rapport and understand who they are and learn their needs and desires.  Don’t just jump into your listing presentation or start showing them houses without first personally interviewing them and finding out what they want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 3. ROMANCE ‘EM:  In my proposal plan, I wanted to make damn sure that there was going to be no question what the answer would be.  I prepared this “love book” for Deborah to read on the plane to “get her in the mood to say YES.”  Oh yeah, and I whisked her off to a tropical Caribbean island that she hadn’t even heard of before.

Once you know what your clients want, you’ve got to provide it.  You also have to be the expert.  But don’t be stiff and serious 100% of the time.  Humor is a great way to connect with your clients.  And on long househunting days driving around town, stop and take the clients for lunch or an ice cream on you.  Romance ‘em a bit and it will pay dividends.  Prepare them to say yes.

 

 

 4.  SURPRISE:  I used the element of surprise to catch my wife off guard.  And to add an air of adventure.  The fact that this whole elaborate plan was a surprise also let her unravel the pieces afterwards of who knew and who didn’t and just made it all the more special.  But the key was that I was in control of the surprise and there were no unexpected glitches.

In a real estate transaction, the last thing we want is a surprise that causes things to go awry.  But what you can do is surprise your clients by exceeding their expectations.  When you show up to settlement with a wonderful closing gift for them, or hire a cleaning service to clean their new home for them before they move in, these surprises will cause your clients to think of you as their “Realtor for life”!

 

What surprises may I have in store for our anniversary weekend this year?  Who knows?

Comments (50)

John MacArthur
Century 21 Redwood - Washington, DC
Licensed Maryland/DC Realtor, Metro DC Homes
Brian - I enjoyed reading every word in the blog. It shows a picture of a complete person. There was no surpise when she said yes. You had been closing for 196 pages. Congratulations.
Sep 27, 2007 12:18 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate

CHAD:  Your lesson is a good one too!  Take action on those hot clients before they slip away.  Also applicable to hot properties :)  Thanks for your comments.

Sep 27, 2007 12:50 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate

CANDACE:  I don't have much to respond to your comment, but I'm glad that you are finding some humor here.  Press Your Luck = cheesy 80s game show, but a guilty pleasure.  Do you watch the reruns on the Game Show Channel?  Can you believe that channel even exists?

Sep 27, 2007 12:52 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate
STACY:  Thanks for your comments.  I've been blushing all day from the all the comments from lovely ladies here on AR.
Sep 27, 2007 12:53 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate

TOM:  Thanks for your comments and anniversary wishes.  I appreciate your compliments and the 5 rating.

Sep 27, 2007 12:54 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate

 GINGER:  You did hit the nail on the head apparently.  Stop it please -- my wife is going to get suspicious and kick me off Active Rain when she sees these blonde California girls oohing and ahhing.

 

Sep 27, 2007 01:00 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate

JOEY:  Yes, there is indeed a Brian Block Fan Club.  My wife is the President and her parents are the Executive V.P's.  Would you like to be the Director of Publicity or Treasurer?  Thanks for your comment -- now you are making me blush too!  And this is getting embarrassing...

Sep 27, 2007 01:02 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate

JOHN:  Thanks for reading the whole blog.  I appreciate your very sincere comment.  You are right -- I was closing for all those pages.  If I would have thought about that last night, it could have been titled 5 lessons learned.  Thanks again.

Sep 27, 2007 01:04 PM
Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation
Brian, in all your spare time, I think you should write a "how to" book for proposals.  lol.  'Love your analogies to real estate.
Sep 27, 2007 01:16 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate
MARGARET:  Thanks for commenting.  I'll put that on my to-do list for the future!  It was great meeting you today for lunch.  I just posted some of the photos in a blog.
Sep 27, 2007 03:39 PM
Julie Neerings~Lifting Hearts ♥ Building Dreams~
Agent Referral - Salt Lake City, UT
Brian-That is like a Fairy Tale Story.  What a sappy guy you are.  I'm sure your wife sincerely appreciates everything you do.  I really like how you pulled in the real estate side of it.  I was so caught up in the Fairy Tale  (come true) that you actually had me forget about real estate for a moment. 
Oct 21, 2007 11:18 AM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate
JULIE:  Thanks for reading and commenting on my "Fairy Tale" proposal.  That's what my wife calls it too and actually wrote me a thank you note about the proposal calling it such.  We definitely appreciate each other and never take anything for granted.  It's okay to forget about real estate from time to time.
Oct 21, 2007 04:42 PM
Julie Neerings~Lifting Hearts ♥ Building Dreams~
Agent Referral - Salt Lake City, UT
Brian-You continue to inspire me each time I read your blogs.  It doesn't always have to be the man that does all these wonderful things.  I'm always thinking of fun things to do to surprise my sweet husband and let him know how much I appreciate and love him.  But somehow I let life get in the way.  You are inspiring me to follow through with that. We always talk about going to Hawaii, so my plan is to surprise him with that dream and make it truly a reality.  Thank you for your example.  What a great one to follow. 
Oct 21, 2007 05:27 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate
JULIE:  Thanks again for your very sweet comments.  I'm sure that your husband appreciates all the things that you do.  A surprise trip to Hawaii would certainly be amazing.  
Oct 22, 2007 12:10 AM
Katerina Gasset
The Gasset Group & Get It Done For Me Virtual Services - Provo, UT
Amplify Your Real Estate & Life Dreams!
Brian- What a wonderful story, so romantic and real. Your wife is absolutely beautiful. It is great that you find the time still to do things with your wife, like I read that this past weekend you went to a dance party with her. I like to read these stories as that helps me to get to know you more on a personal level. Thanks for an inspiring story. Katerina
Oct 23, 2007 05:47 PM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate
KATERINA:  Thanks for reading and commenting on this post.  It's not a story that I share often unless asked about it, and then I usually give a short version.  Now several hundred on Active Rain have read this story, but I was happy to share and to be able to tie it in to real estate to boot!  Thanks for your sweet comments about my wife.  Not only is she beautiful but she is an amazing entrepreneur as well!  I've learned a lot from her.
Oct 23, 2007 11:58 PM
Jennifer Monroe
Indigo Home Team powered by Compass - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker/Designer
Wow! They certainly don't call you "Brain" for nothing!!! This is outstanding! So, can you hook me up with your handsome single brother???
Dec 05, 2007 01:07 AM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate
JENNIFER:  Thanks for reading my proposal story and for your humorous comments.  Sorry, no brothers, but I've got a great sister in San Francisco.
Dec 05, 2007 01:14 AM
Kathi Frank
Kate Writes Right - Houston Heights, TX
The Woodlands TX
Brian, you continue to amaze me!!!  Your skill in assessing your opportunities and maximizing the benefit in them is astounding.  I'm convinced that you are a considerate, generous and remarkably insightful man.  It sounds to me like you and Deborah have a reciprocal and mutually beautiful relationship.  That is rare and wonderful.  I congratulate you both.
Jan 21, 2008 11:02 AM
Brian Block
RE/MAX Allegiance, Managing Broker/Branch Vice President - McLean, VA
Northern Virginia & D.C. Real Estate
KATHI:  Thanks for your enthusiastic comment.  I appreciate the compliments, and yes, I do believe that my wife and I have a wonderful relationship.  We've spent a wonderful 11 years together so far and have wonderful memories of our engagement 7 years ago.
Jan 22, 2008 06:23 AM