With my 6th wedding anniversary coming up right around the corner this Sunday, I’ve been thinking about all things marriage this week (For a detailed account of the tumultuous days surrounding this great event less than 3 weeks after 9/11/01, read Where Were You on September 11th? (or how September 11th launched my real estate career) -- Part 2 of 2).

 

 

Jason "The Loveseat" Crouch founded a wonderful new group here on Active Rain this week called Family Ties for family related stories (real estate related or not).  We were chatting on the phone on Monday evening on my way to pick up my sister at the airport and towards the end of the conversation got to talking about marriage and how we met our wives.  Then Jason asked me how I had proposed.  Just at that moment I received a text message that my sister had landed at Dulles Airport.  I told Jason that I had to go and that the engagement story was quite elaborate.  He suggested I blog about it for the new group, so voila! 

I decided that instead of just the personal story, I would tie it back in to the real estate practice.  Please read on.

 

 

 

 

Deborah and I met November 15, 1996, while I was still in law school at George Mason University (this was way before I became a Realtor).  She was thinking about attending the law school and had visited one day to tour around and meet some students and faculty.  One student invited her to a law school party for that weekend so that she could meet some other students. 

I happened to be at that party which was held in my apartment building a few floors up.  We got introduced and didn’t speak to anyone but each other for 3 hours.  At the end of the night, I got her phone number and called the next day.  The rest is history.

It was time for me to buy the diamond ring.  I told Deborah that I was going up to NYC to visit the boys (my buddies from college) for a weekend.  This was true.  The part that I left out was that I was also taking a trip to the NY Diamond District to a diamond wholesaler who is an old friend of Deborah’s father from his foreign service days.  In early November, I went to her parent’s house (20 minutes away) and asked her father for Deborah’s hand in marriage and told him my whole elaborate plan, but swore him to secrecy.

Over the course of the previous 4 months, I created and wrote a 192 page book in a blank journal to be given to Deborah on our 4 year anniversary in November.  This book is a compilation of love poems, songs, collages, pictures, and descriptions and narratives from me about all the reasons that I love her.  To this day, it is one of our most cherished possessions.  I worked on it a little bit each week.

During the week leading up to our 4 year anniversary of dating, I told Deborah that I had planned a trip for us but did not tell her where.  She asked me if it would be warm or cold.  I kept mum.  She asked what she should pack.  I said don’t bother packing.

The night of November 15th, we went for dinner at the Mount Vernon Inn, 5 minutes away from her parents’ house where she was living.  We had a wonderful anniversary meal.  Towards the end of the meal, I pulled out her gift (the book).  She started to read it and told me that this was the most wonderful present that I could ever give her. 

Suddenly, I startled and surprised her when I told her to stop reading because she would have plenty of time to read it “tomorrow on the plane.”

“THE PLANE!!!??  Where are we going?”

That’s when I pulled out the tickets to Curacao.

“What’s Curacao?  Where are we going?  The Carribean!!  You’re kidding!”

We quickly returned to her house, where despite my instructions, Deborah had packed a bag complete with bikinis and wool sweaters.  She rapidly unpacked the sweaters and we were off to my apartment for the night for a few hours of sleep before our early morning flight.  Meanwhile, I stowed the diamond ring safely in our videocamera bag so that it was out of sight, but within my reach during the entire flight.  During the plane ride, Deborah read with delight the entire 192 page book and I don’t think she stopped smiling the whole way despite our uncomfortable coach seats and the long flight.

We arrived on the beautiful island of Curacao in the Netherland Antilles and drove to the hotel.  I was anxious to get on the beach before sunset to complete the marriage proposal in style.  She almost threw a kink in the plan by suggesting dinner, but I insisted we get in our suits and head out to the beach.  (Surprisingly she still had no idea what was coming next.)

 

 

As we walked down the beach, Deborah said to me that I was really going all out for a 4 year anniversary.  That’s when I told her that there was another reason we were there and dropped to my knees on the beach and asked her to marry me.  She immediately shouted YES! and started kissing me before I could even place the sparkling diamond ring on her finger.  

 

We spent a wonderful 5 days on the island, returned home and planned and prepared for the wedding 10 months later.

Thanks for reading this far.

 

Continue on for 4 Important Lessons for Real Estate:

 

1.  PLANNING:  I spent quite a few months planning this marriage proposal.  Between arranging flights and hotel, a covert mission to NYC to purchase the ring, sneaking down to her parent’s house to ask her father for permission, and writing a 192 page love tribute, this took time, planning and research.

In real estate, you need to plan, plan, plan.  As an entrepreneur, it is important to have a plan for your business.  You need to plan your marketing strategies, your prospecting, your listing appointments, etc.  When working with buyers or sellers, it is crucial to do your background homework and research to prepare for the meeting.  The more preparation you put in, the more polished and professional you will be when it is showtime with your clients.

 

 

 

 

 

2.  UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WANT:  I never had to ask my wife how she wanted me to propose.  Nor did we shop for rings together.  But over the years of dating, I picked up the cues.  Tropical beaches – check; platinum setting – check; get down on your knees to propose – you better believe it.

When working with clients, you need to establish rapport and understand who they are and learn their needs and desires.  Don’t just jump into your listing presentation or start showing them houses without first personally interviewing them and finding out what they want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. ROMANCE ‘EM:  In my proposal plan, I wanted to make damn sure that there was going to be no question what the answer would be.  I prepared this “love book” for Deborah to read on the plane to “get her in the mood to say YES.”  Oh yeah, and I whisked her off to a tropical Caribbean island that she hadn’t even heard of before.

Once you know what your clients want, you’ve got to provide it.  You also have to be the expert.  But don’t be stiff and serious 100% of the time.  Humor is a great way to connect with your clients.  And on long househunting days driving around town, stop and take the clients for lunch or an ice cream on you.  Romance ‘em a bit and it will pay dividends.  Prepare them to say yes.

 

 

4.  SURPRISE:  I used the element of surprise to catch my wife off guard.  And to add an air of adventure.  The fact that this whole elaborate plan was a surprise also let her unravel the pieces afterwards of who knew and who didn’t and just made it all the more special.  But the key was that I was in control of the surprise and there were no unexpected glitches.

In a real estate transaction, the last thing we want is a surprise that causes things to go awry.  But what you can do is surprise your clients by exceeding their expectations.  When you show up to settlement with a wonderful closing gift for them, or hire a cleaning service to clean their new home for them before they move in, these surprises will cause your clients to think of you as their “Realtor for life”!

 

What surprises may I have in store for our anniversary weekend this year?  Who knows?