The Best Ways To Annoy A Listing Agent...

1. Leave feedback on the showing that reads: "Offer coming, best we've seen all month!" Then send no offer, return no calls and ignore inquiries from the LA.

2. While showing, leave your business cards all over the house with your cell phone highlighted in bright yellow...... You're a discount broker.

3. Ask the LA for the last 12 months utilities, copies of the seller disclosure, 1/2 dozen questions about the soil, atmosphere, neighbors, previous floods, the roof...... SEND NO OFFER.

4. Leave this for feedback: "Thanks for letting us show."

5. Send your offer to the listing agent as 22 JPEG PHOTO'S and as SEPARATE attachments.

6. Fax your offer from a gas station. Make sure to fax sideways, upside down and for fun hold the end of the sheet back so it creates a really neat smear effect.

7. While showing the listing tell the seller you almost couldn't find it because the directions were wrong.

8. While driving to the property call the LA 9 times asking for directions. Make sure you say.. "which way is North?"

9. Call the LA after you show the property and explain that you locked yourself out and forgot the key INSIDE THE HOME.

10. Call the LA before your showing and say.. "I'm here to show but there are 3 fire trucks and lots and lots of police here." Then reveal that your just joshing.

11. Call the LA and ask if the seller will consider owner financing or lease to purchase or just a plain lease.... EVERYTHING BUT what the property is listed for.

12. Let the LA know that you accidentally let the cats out.

13. OOPS! the alarm tripped. Blame it on the LA or the showing service and say they gave you the WRONG CODE.

14. Tell the LA you have a CASH OFFER. Once the seller signs, switch to VA financing. When the LA gets mad say... "what are you going to do.... put it back on the mkt?" Do the latter while smackin on gum.

15. After you submit your offer go on vacation and dissapear like a good loser agent.

16. Enter weird things in special provisions like: ROOF COMES WITH HOUSE.

17. Get the LA all excited... ask lot's of questions..... be high maintenance and then offer 40% below list price... because it's a buyers mkt.

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