Every year on March 17th, millions of people around the world celebrate St' Paricks Day and honor the Irish. Here is a collection of Irish drinking toasts, trivia, sayings and jokes. So grab a Guinness and celebrate the Irish with your friends and family.
It shouldn't come as a surprise to you that the Irish have so many drinking toasts, trivia, sayings and jokes that I had to seperate this post in two. That just means you have to have another pint of Guinness while you read A collection of Irish drinking toasts, trivia, sayings & toasts...Second Pint
Slainte!
Irish Drinking Toast
May your glass be ever full,
May the roof over your head be always strong
And may you be in heaven half an hour
Before the Devil knows you’re dead.
Irish Trivia
Q. What percentage of U.S. Presidents have Irish ancestors
A. 40%
Irish Drinking Toast
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Irish Trivia
Q. What famous outlaw had Irish parents?
A. Billy the Kid
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends,
May they never meet!
Irish Trivia
Irish farmers in the spring would do this to their families as they said,
“In the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost.”
A) Pull the leaves off a shamrock. B) Give a toast with beer to each other.
C) Mark a cross on their arm with ash from a burnt stick. D) Hang a cross over their beds.
Answer: C) Mark a cross on their arm with ash from a burnt stick.
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Joke
A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell into arguing as to whose profession was the oldest. Said the surgeon, “Eve was made from Adam’s rib, and that surely was a surgical operation.” Maybe,” said the architect, “but prior to that, order was created out of chaos, and that was an architectural job. “ “Shure now,” interrupted the politician, “but somebody created the chaos first.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Trivia
How many people worldwide can claim Irish ancestry?
A) 10 million, B) 20 million, C) 50 million, D) 70 million
Answer: D) 70 million
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish Joke
Q. Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic?
A. It has a 12 month waiting list.
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Saying
“You know when you have Irish blood in you when your mother cries at beer commercials.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Saying
“Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.”
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Trivia
Q. What are the names of the members of the Irish rock band U2?
A. Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a temperance supper
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
Irish Trivia
St. Patrick wasn’t really Irish at all. True or False?
False. His father was Italian, his mom was Scot. He was born in Scotland.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold pint, and another one!
Irish Joke
“Young man,” said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. “it’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present sorry state!” “Jazus, I’m glad to hear you say that,” replied Paddy, with a sigh of relief. “Everybody else says it’s all me own fault!”
Irish Drinking Toast
My friends are the best friends,
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking,
All glasses off the table!
Irish Trivia
Q. What is traditionally placed beside a person who has died?
A. A candle, a coin and a stiff drink. The candle to give the deceased light,
a coin to pay for the trip and a drink to sustain him while getting there.
Irish Drinking Toast
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How in the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
Irish Saying
“One of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Saint Patrick was a gentleman, who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland, here’s a drinkee to his health!
But not too many drinkees, lest we lose ourselves and then….
Forget the good Saint Patrick, and see them snakes again!
Irish Saying
“Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick’s Day consists of the night of the 16th of March flavored strongly with the morning of the 18th.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your glass be ever full,
May the roof over your head be always strong
And may you be in heaven half an hour
Before the Devil knows you’re dead.
Irish Saying
“An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.”
Irish Drinking Toast
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Irish Saying
“Work is the curse of the drinking class.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends,
May they never meet!
Irish Trivia
What is the ratio of pubs to people in Ireland?
A) 1 per every 100, B) 1 per every 350, C) 1 per every 750, D) 1 per every 1,100
Answer: C) 1 per every 350
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Joke
Two Irish farmers were driving their tractors down the middle of a country road. A car comes around the corner, brakes hard to avoid them, skids, tumbles twice and lands in a field. One farmer says to the other, “It’s just as well we got out of that field.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Joke
She followed her husband into the pub. “How can you come in here,” she said, taking a sip of his pint of Guinness, “and drink that awful stuff?” “Now!” he shouted, “And you always said I was out enjoying meself.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish saying
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Trivia
Q. What famous ship was built in Ireland?
A. The Titanic
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Joke
“Well Paddy, said the doctor. “I can’t quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink.” “Sure, that’s all right, doctor,” said Paddy. “I know how you feel. I’ll come back when you’re sober.”
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Joke
Two drunks coming home, stumbled up a country road in the dark. “Jazus Paddy, we’ve stumbled into a graveyard and here’s the stone of a man that lived to the age of 103!” “Glory be, Murphy and was it anybody we knew?” “No, twas someone named ‘Miles from Dublin’!”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a temperance supper
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
Irish Joke
Paddy was walking through a graveyard when he came across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a Politian and an honest man”. “Faith now,” exclaimed Paddy, “I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold pint, and another one!
Irish Joke
Paddy was staggering home with a small bottle of whiskey in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. “Please God,” he implored, “let it be blood.”
Irish Drinking Toast
My friends are the best friends,
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking,
All glasses off the table!
Irish Joke
Twas the Irish that invented the bagpipes, you know, and they gave them to the Scots as a joke. And you know, the Scots haven’t gotten the joke yet!
Irish Drinking Toast
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How in the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
Irish Trivia
Q. In 1997, what became legal in Ireland?
A. Getting a divorce
Irish Drinking Toast
Saint Patrick was a gentleman, who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland, here’s a drinkee to his health!
But not too many drinkees, lest we lose ourselves and then….
Forget the good Saint Patrick, and see them snakes again!
Irish Trivia
Q. Why is Mulgrave Street in Limerick, Ireland also known as Calamity Avenue?
A. It contains 2 hospitals, a prison and a lunatic asylum.
Irish Drinking Toast
May your glass be ever full,
May the roof over your head be always strong
And may you be in heaven half an hour
Before the Devil knows you’re dead.
Irish Joke
Q. What is black and blue and floating upside down in the Irish sea?
A. Someone who tells a stupid Irish joke.
Irish Drinking Toast
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Irish Joke
Seamus was getting irate and shouted upstairs to his wife, “Hurry up or we’ll be late.” “Oh, be quiet,” replied his wife. “Haven’t I been telling you for the last hour that I’ll be ready in a minute?”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends,
May they never meet!
Irish Trivia
Q. Where would you start looking for Irish Moss?
A, In the water. It is a seaweed found along the west coast of Ireland. Also called carrageen, it is used as a thickener in puddings, soups, ice creams, cosmetics and medicines.
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Joke
First Irish Farmer: “Me cow fell down a hole and I had to shoot it”
Second Irish Farmer: “Did you shoot it in the hole?”
First Irish Farmer: “No, in the head.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Joke
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guinness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish Saying
“When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don’t tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes.”
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Joke
Q. What is Irish diplomacy?
A. It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell, so that he will look forward to the trip.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Joke
Q. What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ have in common?
A. They both lived with their mother until they were 33 and neither had a job.
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Trivia
Q. What was the Republic of Ireland originally called?
A. Eire
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a temperance supper
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
Irish Joke
Two Irishmen had just won the lottery. Having a pint in the pub Paddy says to Sean, what about all them beggin letters, Sean replies, we’ll just keep sending them.
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